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Showing results for tags 'women'.
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As some of you may know, I retired from my job this past May. I have been busy doing a lot of things that I never seemed to get around to doing when I was working full time. So like men, women have projects too, and here are some photos of the ones I just completed. Now I need to find something else to do. Yama Mama
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A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. > > She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in > a trap. > > The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I > will grant you three wishes." > > The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, > but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. > > Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" > > The woman said, "That's okay." > > For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful > woman in the world. > > The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will > also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, and women > will flock to him". > > The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the > most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." > > So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! > > For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in > the world. > > The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest > man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you." > > The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his > and what's his is mine." > > So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! > > The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, > "I'd like a mild heart attack." > > Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them. > > Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop > here and continue feeling good. > > > > Male readers : Please Scroll Down. > > | > > | > > | > > | > > | > > | > > | > > | > > | > > | > > | > > | > > | The man had a heart attack ten times milder than that of > his wife. > > Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think > they're really smart. > > Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show. > > PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only > goes to show that women never listen!!! >
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every1 has a SAFE 4th of July!! Please remember why we celebrate this great holiday & think of the men & women who made the ultimate sacrifice that we may enjoy freedom..
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men be careful what you wish for.....because many times wishes come true...... as represented here by the beautiful women of VR.... there was suggestion of a possible calendar or photo shoot of some of our lovely ladies........ so here they are for your viewing pleasure....... enjoy !!! this is a zipped power point slide show...you will need to click a few times to get to open the slide show...once open please click on each picture to advance to the next
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Finally, the abridged, paperback version of the book; "Understanding Women, Vol. 1" Is available in book stores.....
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Just watched the documentary on tv. It gives you more appreciation of what our military service men and women did and do to sacrifice for our freedom. Thank you very much.
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Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the w...omen to go with St. Peter." With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man. God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only, one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?" And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
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How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by90%.. It's called a Wedding Cake. Why do men die before their wives? They want to. My wife sent this to me so I hope we are at PG I think it is but it made me laugh
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WOMEN A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible... No wait...Sorry. I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that crap. Never mind.
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I'm thankful this holiday season for 3 terrific sons, all who love to ride with their parents. They all picked women that like to ride also. So.....how bout you? What are you thankful for?
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Tasmania. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: 'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? Its men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general... and all in the name of humour!' The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, 'You stay out of this mate! I'm talking to that little **** on your lap!'
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I think I'm in love - many times over. WOW! http://www.flixxy.com/top-female-tennis-players-slow-motion.htm
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well they sprung me im home. someone done a big cleaning here in the apartment? was lucky to find the computer. now i might be like some other guys on here but some women should never move a mans junk. i know its there been there for maybe 3 years but someday im going to move it or use it? but daughter,Dianne ,sister, gave the place a good cleaning. but i cant find the tv remote? me thinks they want me to get up and change the station every minute? ha ha fooled them. taped a heavy straw to the cane can now push the up and down button on the tv:big-grin-emoticon: from where im at. and there just aint something right about carpet on a toilet? you lift the seat and that damn carpet makes it slam back down. now i aint no fireman but i dont want my hose kinked. if ya know what i mean? well every one i cant tell you how much i owe all of you for your help. prayers donations. phone call to check up on me ect ect. now i know Boomer was looking for women? but hey i know where a big nurse is. gives nice back rubs. but could use a shave now and then? name is francis? owns a harley though has a rough voice. drinks jack daniels. sponge baths are up to you Boomer if your interested. well i better go for now limited to how much time i can sit here. BIG BIG THANKS TO ALL OF YOU
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Went to the Local eatery tonight. Parked beside the building and noticed 9 Harley's parked out front. Walk in and much to my surprise there at a table were 9 women. First for this old boy. Good to see the opposite sex getting together for some riding and eating.
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this is for our men and women who cant be with us during the holidayshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALhq-edf0qk
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WOW!!! This last 48 hours has been quite something, what a time to be Scott & White Security, Our Officers did an excellent job. I am so proud of each and every one of them. I was able to visit and talk to some of the wounded brought in, just kids really, very heroic. The shooter was taken to BAMC in San Antonio yesterday afternoon, now to care for and help assist the families of the wounded. The turn out for blood donations was incredable and the support by the community was heart warming. People were just wanting to help any way they could. Local resturants were delivering food and drinks throughout the night at no charge.We knew we had the shooter early on but could not tell anyone for obvious reasons. It was strange to see him in ICU and then walk down the very same hallway and see many of his victims within just a few feet. The Doctors seem confident that the soldiers we have at S&W will live but some will have a difficult time of recovery. Thanks to all the brave men and women who serve and have served in our armed forces, the dangers they face everyday can come from anywhere at any time both foriegn and domestic. I wish these cowards would have the guts to face any one of these brave men and women in a "fair" fight but I guess that would not please Mohamad.
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Because of recent abductions In daylight hours, refresh yourself Of these things to do In an emergency situation... This is for you, And for you to share With your wife, Your children, Everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, Forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful In this crazy world we live in. 1 .Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbowis the strongest point On your body. If you are close enough to use it,do! 2. Learned this from a tourist guide In New Orleans If a robber asksfor your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... Chances arethat he is more interested In your wallet and/or pursethan you, And he will gofor the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! 3. If you are ever throwninto the trunk of a car, Kick out the back tail lightsand stick your arm out the hole And start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you,but everybody else will. This has saved lives 4. Women have a tendencyto get into their cars After shopping, eating, working, etc.,and just sit (doing their check book, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predatorwill be watching you,and this Is the perfect opportunityfor him to get in On the passenger side,put a gun to your head, And tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. If someone Is in the car With a gun To your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine And speed into anything,wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person isin the back seat They will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes Bail out and run. It is better than having themfind your body In a remote location.. 5.A few notes about getting Into your car in a parking lot, Or parking garage: A.) Be aware: Look around you, Look into your car, At the passenger side floor, And in the back seat B.) If you are parked next to a big van, Enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims By pulling them into their vanswhile the women Are attemptingto get into their ca rs. C.) Look at the car Parked on the driver's sideof your vehicle, And the passenger side..If a male is sitting alone In the seat nearest your car,you may want to walk back Into the mall, or work,and get=2 0a guard/policemanto walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.) 6. ALWAYStake the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible placesto be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!) 7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you(a running target) 4 in 100 times;And even then, it most likelyWILL NOTbe a vital organ. RUN,Preferably in a zig -zag pattern! 8. As women,we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped,or killed. Ted Bundy,the serial killer,was a good-looking, well educated man,who ALWAYS played on the sympathiesof unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane,or a limp,and often asked'for help'into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim. 9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told methat her friend heard a crying baby on her porchthe night before last, and she called the policebecause it was late and she thought it was weird.The police told her 'Whatever you do,DO NOT open the door.' The ladythen said thatit sounded like the baby had crawled near a window,and she was worried that it would crawlto the streetand get run over. The polic eman said,'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do,DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they thinka serial killer has a baby's cry recordedand uses it to coax women out of their homesthinking that someone dropped off a babyHe said they have not verified it, but have had several callsby women saying that they hear baby's criesoutside their doors when they're home aloneat night. Please pass this on and DO NOTopen the door for a crying baby ---- Thise-mail should probablybe taken seriously because the Crying Baby theorywas mentioned on America 's Most Wantedthis past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana I'd like youto forward thisto all the women y ou know. It may save a lifeA candle is not dimmedby lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys,if you love your mothers,wives,sisters,daughters, etc., you may want topass it onto them, as well. Send thisto any woman you knowthat may need to be remindedthat the world we live inhas a lot of crazies in it and it's better to be safethan sorry..
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I love the Kumho that I installed. Here are the advantages. 1. Handles better 2. Rides smoother 3. Cost less 4. Replace less often 5. Makes the women fall all over you 6. Increases sex appeal by 78% 7. Better traction 8. Did I mention the women? Seriously, has anyone else noticed an improvement in turning radius or is it just my imagination?
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It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb). The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. Women blink twice as often as men. The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain. Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still. If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. Women reading this will be finished now. Men who read this are probably still busy ch ecking their thumbs.
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Warm Weather around just the corner . So it's time for all the women here at VR to show off their Sexy Leather riding apparel they have been buying over the winter months . It doesn't have to be exactly leather , it can be Lace , Spandex , or even colored Surand wrap . If all the women haven't sent their thongs to Big Tom , perhaps photos in Chaps and a Thong and vest ! .....Please just tell me you send all your things to Big Tom and if ya did , you can help out the economy by purchasing more . If ya got some Boob Tubes with VR patches displayed correctly , it would be our gents pleasure to veiw ! Don't be shy , the HD chic's do it !!!!! Don't let them out-do you . Come on Mini , YamaMoma , Tater , Mecahanic and more . Show off those Tattoos . If you dare , Be a little Bare . Show some skin , get a tan , Make us all , some happy men ! Make this an exciting year ! :banana: BEER30
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I am new here, so I hope that I am doing this right. How many women members here ride their own bikes. I just got a 2001 V Star Classic and I am really excited about riding this coming season. highwaypeg:15_9_28[1]:
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This might just explain why the sexes have diffrent out looks on life [ame=http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1059025/tale_of_two_brains/]http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1059025/tale_of_two_brains/[/ame]
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Well, gals, give me your input on this? Do you agree? I had a good laugh, and feel like its a thumbs up....sherry 9 WORDS WOMEN USE (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. (3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) (6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man.. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. (7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever'). (8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "whatever" (I deleted the cuss word ) (9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
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did any of you see this posting made by BuddyRich?? I do believe he needs to pay for this one.........and severely............ here is the page its on so u can follow the thread postings to which he responded so negatively towards us women members.......... :stirthepot: http://www.venturerider.org/forum/showthread.php?p=294124&posted=1#post294124
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This morning on the Highway , I looked over to my left and there was a Woman In a brand new Cadillac Doing 90 km-per hour With her Face up next t o her Rear view mirror Putting on her eyeliner. I looked away For a couple seconds, and when I looked back she was Halfway over in my lane, Still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped My electric shaver , Which knocked The donut Out of my other hand. In all The confusion of trying To straighten out the car Using my knees against The steering wheel, It knocked My cell phone Away from my ear Which fell Into the coffee Between my legs, Splashed, And burned Big Jim and the Twins, Ruined the darn phone, Soaked my trousers, And disconnected an Important call. Stupid women drivers
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