Usama Bin Laden arrived at the gate into paradise. The gatekeeper greeted him with hugs and cheek kisses and said "Usama, my dear friend, welcome to paradise. Come in! Come in!"
Usama strutted boldly through the gate. The gate had barely closed behind him when George Washington stepped up and hit him square in the middle of his face. The blow broke Usama's nose, knocked out a couple of teeth, and sent him falling flat on his back.
He laid there a moment to clear his head and was just starting to get up when Patrick Henry came up and kicked him in the behind sending him tumbling tail over teakettle.
Confused and dazed he slowly rose to his feet when Thomas Jefferson hit him with a round house right up the side of his head. Usama spun around from the blow and fell to the ground again.
When he could muster the strength to speak he cried out to the gatekeeper "I don't understand. Why is all this happening?"
The gatekeeper looked at him expressionless and said "My dear Usama, weren't you listening? We told you that when you reach paradise there would be seventy two Virginians waiting for you.