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Showing results for tags 'texans'.
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Texans Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing some real problems.. They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they are wearing T-shirts instead of their robes; there's barbecue and picante sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts; their dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep. They are wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and their boots are marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom. There are watermelon seeds and tortilla chip crumbs all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing; and they insist on bringing their darn horses with them." The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all of my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil.." So Gabriel calls the Devil who answers the phone and says, "Hello -- hold on a minute." When he returns to the phone the Devil says, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?" Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kinds of problems you are having down there with the Texans." The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something." After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said. "I'm back. Now what was the question?" Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there with the Texans?" The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this...hold on!!!!" This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes and when he returns he says, "I'm sorry Gabriel -- I can't talk right now!! Red Adair has put out the fire here and now Brown & Root is installing air conditioning!!!!" Always remember .... TEXANS SURVIVE .... despite the odds against them!!!
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This man from the Northeast moved to Texas when his company closed and relocated, and from the first he was struck by the prominence of state flags everywhere, and how Texans were constantly bragging about their history and culture. The northerner found his new Texas co-workers friendly as hell, far as that goes. From the start, in fact, they had invited him to join them each afternoon after work when they would have a few cold beers at a nearby bar. Still, they would rib him a lot with talk about The Alamo, San Jacinto, Travis, Bowie and Crockett, Hood's Texas Brigade... and yankee jokes of course. Anyway, after a few months or so, it got to irritating him and, finally, one Friday afternoon, the yankee lost his temper and cut in: "You damn Texans think you guys were created on Day One! There are heroes up where I come from too, you know," he rejoined. The Texans looked at each other, baffled a bit. "Like who?" one of the Lone Star boys finally asked. "Like Paul Revere, THAT'S WHO," the yankee replied smugly. After a bit more confusion among the Texans, one of them snapped his fingers in recognition of the name and replied: "Oh yeah! Wasn't he that feller who ran out of the house in the middle of the night hollerin' for help?"
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i got a question for you Texans. i dont have a cover for my bike so i was wondering if i could use one of those big 10 gallon hat covers that you put on your cowboy hats to cover the seat with when it rains? do you think it would stretch enough to fit?
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Here ya go..Official TEXANS!
