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1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? 2. Why to banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they already know you don’t have enough money? 3. Why does someone believe you when you say there a four billion stars. But check with their finger when you say the paint is wet? 4. Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle? 5. Why does the government require that only sterilized needles be used for death by lethal injection? 6. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? 7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? 8. Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 9. Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”? 10. If people evolved from apes, did some apes choose not to evolve? 11. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? 12. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? 13. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? 14. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with the vacuum cleaner? 15. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the top end on the first try? 16. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? 17. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, “That hurt, you stupid idiot?” 18. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? 19. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when we complained about it being too hot? 20. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? 21. And my FAVORITE . . . Statistics on sanity show that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends – if they’re okay, then ... it’s you!
