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Showing results for tags 'sergeant'.
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A husband went to police station to report his missing wife: Husband : I've lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home. Sergeant : What is her height ? Husband : Oh, 5 something . . . Sergeant : Build? Husband : Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant : Color of eyes? Husband : Never noticed. Sergeant : Color of hair? Husband : Changes according to season. Sergeant : What was she wearing? Husband : Dress/suit/blue jeans -- I don't remember exactly. Sergeant : Did she go in a car? Husband : yes. Sergeant : What kind of car was it? Husband : 2015 Corvette Stingray 3LT with the Z51 Performance Package, shark gray metallic paint, with the 6.2 liter V8 engine with Direct Injection generating 460 HP. 8-speed paddle-shift automatic transmission, and GT bucket seats, and has a very thin scratch on the front left door....... At this point the husband started crying... Sergeant : Don't worry sir.......We'll find your car.
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NO SEX Since 1955 A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." The Sergeant Major said, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now." (Gotta love military time) Andy
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I don't know how long this will stay posted but I had to give it a try! Red Shirt If the red shirt thing is new to you, read below how it went for a man... Last week, while traveling to Chicago on business, I noticed a Marine sergeant traveling with a folded flag, but did not put two and two together.. After we boarded our flight, I turned to the sergeant, who'd been invited to sit in First Class (across from me), and inquired if he was heading home. No, he responded. Heading out I asked? No. I'm escorting a soldier home. Going to pick him up? No. He is with me right now. He was killed in Iraq , I'm taking him home to his family. The realization of what he had been asked to do hit me like a punch to the gut.. It was an honor for him. He told me that, although he didn't know the soldier, he had delivered the news of his passing to the soldier's family and felt as if he knew them after many conversations in so few days. I turned back to him, extended my hand, and said, Thank you Thank you for doing what you do so my family and I can do what we do. Upon landing in Chicago the pilot stopped short of the gate and made the following announcement over the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to note that we have had the honor of having Sergeant Steeley of the United States Marine Corps join us on this flight He is escorting a fallen comrade back home to his family. I ask that you please remain in your seats when we open the forward door to allow Sergeant Steeley to deplane and receive his fellow soldier. We will then turn off the seat belt sign." Without a sound, all went as requested. I noticed the sergeant saluting the casket as it was brought off the plane, and his action made me realize that I am proud to be an American. So here's a public Thank You to our military Men and Women for what you do so we can live the way we do. Red Fridays. Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the "silent majority." We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or overbearing. Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops. Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -- and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that ... Every red-blooded American who supports our men and women a far, will wear something red.
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