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Showing results for tags 'senior'.
Found 14 results
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Recently picked up a Senior Pass for parks and stuff and was wondering if others on here have one and how much they have used it. I know that it is generally for federal parks, but do some state parks honor it? What has been your experiences with it? Sitting here at about 15 degrees, I have to think about warmer weather or I will go crazy...er. RandyA
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Yesterday my son asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. He suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I told him that I had joined a parachute club. He said, "Are you nuts? You're almost 62 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed him that I even got a membership card. He said to me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club." I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week. Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier.
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"NEW SENIOR PROGRAM.... New Medicare Program You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating, air conditioning and all the health care you need! Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That’s great. Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart? They’re all covered. As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now. And who will be paying for all of this? It’s the same government that just told you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home. And you can get rid of 4 useless politicians while you are at it. Plus, and because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore. Is this a great country or what? "
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:sign woo hoo: Just got the word, our niece's best friend just took 3rd place in the womans shot put. Her name is Tia Brooks from Grand Rapids MI. She is a senior at Oklahoma state. So please cheer her on this summer in London. ok "we" are not going. But we will be there spirit.
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Is it just coincidence that you guys are posting all these senior jokes now that I am officially a senior or what??
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Was just wondering how many senior riders (65 yrs. plus) are on the board? I will be 69 in Nov. and the lady will be 66 and we are still riding the RSV. Last year we logged over 8K miles. I told the wife the other day I think I will know when it is time to give it up. The moment I do not feel confident and in control that will be it. So far so good. Thanks!
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A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says. This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?" The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net. He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
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It was entertainment night at the Senior Center. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations." He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. .. .." The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces. "S#&T!" said the Hypnotist. It took three days to clean up the Senior Center. Claude was never invited back to entertain.
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Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others. HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took: The melody out of music, The pride out of appearance, The courtesy out of driving, The romance out of love, The commitment out of marriage, The responsibility out of parenthood, The togetherness out of the family, The learning out of education, The service out of patriotism, The Golden Rule from rulers, The nativity scene out of cities, The civility out of behavior, The refinement out of language, The dedication out of employment, The prudence out of spending, The ambition out of achievement or God out of government and school. And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!! And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country. Does anyone under the age of 50 know the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner? What about the last verse of My Country 'tis of Thee? "Our father's God to thee, Author of liberty, To Thee we sing. Long may our land be bright, With freedom's Holy light. Protect us by Thy might, Great God our King." Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention with their hand over their hearts! YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN! I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 p.m. I'm very good at opening childproof caps.... with a hammer. I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying. I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere. I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg. I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps. I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the key to the storeroom door. Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life! Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them, but I would send it to many more too! Spread the laughter Share the cheer Let's be happy While we're here.
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A distraught senior citizen Phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication You prescribed has to be taken For the rest of my life?' 'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence Before the senior lady replied, I'm wondering, then, Just how serious is my condition Because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'..
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It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center. Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations" He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. .." The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces. "SH**" said the Hypnotist. It took three days to clean up the Senior Citizens Center. Claude was never invited back to entertain.
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You think they finally went away....Senior vs. Junior http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/american-chopper/
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Where did the VR Classifieds go ? Am I going blind ? The link doesn't appear on the left side as usual - it also looks like a few other things are not there. Please tell me I'm not having a SENIOR moment !!
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Having an imported RSV 1300 in the UK is there any way to alter the frequency count on the radio controller to even and odd frequencies? My local radio station along with many others uses an even number. ie 107.2 and 102.2. Any ideas? Old Miner. (Having a 'senior moment'). Sorry for putting it in the wrong place, first time I have used the forum. DOH!!!!
