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Deer Story - A Farmer's Tale Why we shoot deer in the wild: (A letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this) I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home. I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope, and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no Chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back. Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ..... I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a girl and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to sort of even the odds!! All these events are true so help me God.. A Educated Farmer
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After reading about hanging a trailer from the ceiling, I thought what a good idea, well just about, I mean, I almost had to call Squidley and apologize to him,,, here's how it went. I checked out my shop, and sure enough I had a space where that could actually take place, it was going to be close and not save me a lot of room,,, but just the idea intrigued me, so I did some planning, I know, give it up, but I stayed at it and actually came up with a plan. My trailer, I figure to weight about 200 lbs so it should be easy. I get me some rope,, (oh I got that, former owner left me a whole bunch), well then I need some pulleys,, lets see,, about 5 will do, nah let's get enough, we make it 7, and then some eye hooks to fasten the pulleys to the ceiling,, maybe be done in 1 hour or so. Got all the required hardware, measured out the rope, decided on the location for the pulleys and put it all together. That was easy, about 2 hours, but then coffee was there as well. OK hook up the trailer and then up it goes and I have floor space. Got it all hooked, one point at the tongue and two points at the rear, all one run of rope, meaning that the rope was one length only and as I pulled on one rope all three points were supposed to come up equally. Oh my, the trailer's back end was the only part to come up and then only one side of it. No matter, kick the thing and it will balance,, right? yep! but you can only do so much of that before you get tired, and the front end was still on the floor,,, and darn that 200 lbs was getting heavy. At this point the slope on the trailer was about 45 degrees, and the front was still on the floor. Enough of that,,, back to the drawing board. Only cost me a few bucks so far, but hey I'm into it and it now needs doing!!!!! Time to plan this thing somewhat different,,,, OK, I'll get winch, that'll make it more controllable and easier to lift, after all I am getting older and I need to think of the future. I'll get a winch and cable instead of rope but use the same setup, what a genius I is. Well after the first 50 bucks, here goes another 50. Next night I go at it again with cable and a winch. I get Marca to turn the winch while I guide the trailer to the ceiling. Everything is peachy keen........... until the lid of the trailer touches the ceiling..... the front needs to lift just a bit more Hon,,,, give it a bit more,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,CRASH!!!!!!!!,,,,, yep, it's back where it started,,, on the floor,, along with broken pulleys, and lots of stretched out eye bolts,,,, everybody is OK,, Marca is not even shaking,,, course it missed her by 2 feet, so it seems she was quite safe after all. Now I got think again,,,,, this brain works is starting to get to me. It's a new idea, but somehow this trailer has to go up evenly and easily, so the winch is in,,, what else would be handy,,,, maybe some heavier pulleys and of course heavier eye bolts, ouch,,, so far it's 100 bucks, now another 80,,, this is not getting any cheaper, nor is it taking as short as first imagined. But,,,, now it works. Nine pulleys, about 80 feet of cable, one winch, a bunch of cable clamps, 3\8 inch eye bolts and the trailer goes up lick-a-dee-slip. And oh,,,, it suffered no damage on the way down the first time,,,and I saved about 6 square feet of floor space. Anybody else got a bright idea I can try?
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AND I WASN'T EVEN RIDING IT !! I cop out of Bongobos fall foliage ride because I had a steep roof to reshingle. To get a rope over the roof I used my fishing rod and cast over the roof from the back. I then tied the line to the rope to pull it over. I am almost over the top when the large rope snags and I snap my fishing line. So, while I am in the back yard tying a new weight to the line to cast over, my neighbour decides to put the ladder up then carry the rope up over the ridge (like I said it is a steep roof) as he try's to walk up the roof he slips. From the back yard I hear a loud crash and relizing suddenly what my crazy neighbour attempted to do I run around to the front expecting to see broken bone's all over my front lawn. As I come through the gate the first thing I see is the ladder laying across my motorcycle, then the eave trough ripped off the house and lastly my neighbour on the ground getting back up on his feet. Don't ask me how it was possible but he did not have a single mark on him, nor was he hurt in any way ( Thank God for that ). My bike on the other hand has another nice scrape on my new paint job and the seat has a six inch cut across it. The main thing of course is that (1) He did not get hurt and (2) I did not have to give mouth to mouth to that sruffy old face of his. By the way its a brown seat for an 89 VR just in case there Is one floating around looking for a new home:big-grin-emoticon:
