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Check this out... http://bc.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehicles-motorcycles-touring-1998-Yamaha-Royal-Star-Tour-De-Luxe-W0QQAdIdZ400373052 I emailed him to confirm "fuel injection" and he says it does have it. I've replied with "where was the conversion done?" Dang, wish I could afford another scoot!
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was suffering through an extremely long sermon 1 Sunday morning one little lady turned to the other and said " I hope the preacher hurries up, my butt has gone to sleep" to which the other little ole lady replied " I know I've heard it SNORE 5 times already"
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wife & daughter went to Mobile, Al on Sunday, she called today and said " what are you doing tomorrow" which right then I knew SOMETHING was up. I replied I'm working u know that... then she said "well I was HOPING you could come get me tomorrow" which I replied.... well I guess I can IF i need to, she said u need to... so I'm going to work early then as quick as I can get done I'm off to MOBILE, 287 miles 1 way...
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Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' ___________________________________________ A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.' ______________________________________ 'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,' 'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.' __________________________________________ A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' 'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.' __________________________________________ An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.' __________________________________________ A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up. _________________________________________ Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really?' Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.' __________________________________________ A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. 'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered. 'What did he say,' asked the nurse. 'Oops!' __________________________________________ While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. 'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?' 'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.' He's still in intensive care. _________________________________________ The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance... The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'
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Morris , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful..
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If not pg rated I apolagize, but it's pretty funny. Problem with my ear..... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ear Infection... This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's reception why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it. A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?' 'There's something wrong with my Penis, he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.' 'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said. The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.' The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.' The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes?' 'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?' 'I can't pee of it,' he replied. The waiting room erupted in laughter. Mess with seniors and you're going to lose! :rotf::rotf:
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FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven... He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.' Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St.. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.' St.. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?' Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.' Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow..' The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter. 'How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.' Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?' Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... ' 'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name'? 'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy.' 'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. 'Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the nameAndy as the first name of God?' 'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song, ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.' St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'
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A redneck with a bucket full of live fish was approached recently by a game warden in Central Mississippi as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish." "Pet fish??" "Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home." "What a line of horse sh-t....you're under arrest." The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment Man. I'll show ya! We do this all the time!!" "WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!" The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?" "Well, WHUT?" said the redneck. The warden asked, "When are you going to call them back?" "Call who back?" "The FISH," replied the warden! "Whut fish?" asked the redneck.
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It's been almost a year since I last used my EZ-PASS online. All my info. to log into my account was lost on my laptop when I had to reformat it. So I called today to get support as any attempt to retrieve lost password came back to an error. I spoke to a support person and retrieved my log in info. and then asked him about the topic of MC's. He replied back that I had the wrong transponder and he would send me the correct one for a MC out today. I also asked him about pulling a trailer and he replied to me that MC tolls are cheaper and to NOT pass through the Express Lane, but go through the normal coin slinging lane. The EZ-PASS would detect the MC and the poll person will nuke the trailer toll. Any truth to this or did I get the BS side of the story? BEER30
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>> A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course >> became confused as to where he was on the course. >> >> Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. >> >> He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew >> what hole he was playing. >> >> 'I'm on the 7th hole,' she replied, 'and you are a hole behind me. So >> you must be on the 6th hole.' >> >> He thanked her and went back to his golf. >> On the back nine, the same thing happened and he >> approached her again >> with the same request. >> >> 'I'm on number 14, and you're still a hole behind, so you must be on >> the 13th hole.' >> >> Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. >> >> He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same >> lady sitting at the end of the bar. >> >> He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. >> >> The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course >> often. >> >> He approached her and said, 'Let me buy you a drink in appreciation >> for your help. I understand that you're in the sales profession. I'm in >> sales also. What do you sell?' >> >> 'I'll tell you, but you're going to laugh,' she replied. >> >> 'No, I won't.' >> >> 'Well, if you must know,' she answered, 'I work for Tampax.' >> >> With that, he laughed so hard he lost his balance and fell off the >> bar stool. >> >> 'See,' she said. 'I knew you'd laugh!' >> >> 'That's not what I'm laughing at,' he replied, 'I'm a salesman for >> Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you.
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Ear Infection... This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's reception why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it. A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?' 'There's something wrong with my Penis, he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.' 'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said. The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.' The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.' The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes?' 'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?' 'I can't pee of it,' he replied. The waiting room erupted in laughter. Mess with seniors and you're going to lose!
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A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" "My wife's." ''What happened to her?" The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her." He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?" The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her." A very poignant and touching moment, of brotherhood and silence, passed between the two men. "Can I borrow the dog?" The man replied, "Get in line."
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A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?' The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!' The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.' The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry Senor, there is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.' The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.' The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Yes, Senor, sometimes the bull wins.'
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As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers. I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before? 'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.' So I wrote down: ID10T I used to like Eric, the little bastard.
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This man from the Northeast moved to Texas when his company closed and relocated, and from the first he was struck by the prominence of state flags everywhere, and how Texans were constantly bragging about their history and culture. The northerner found his new Texas co-workers friendly as hell, far as that goes. From the start, in fact, they had invited him to join them each afternoon after work when they would have a few cold beers at a nearby bar. Still, they would rib him a lot with talk about The Alamo, San Jacinto, Travis, Bowie and Crockett, Hood's Texas Brigade... and yankee jokes of course. Anyway, after a few months or so, it got to irritating him and, finally, one Friday afternoon, the yankee lost his temper and cut in: "You damn Texans think you guys were created on Day One! There are heroes up where I come from too, you know," he rejoined. The Texans looked at each other, baffled a bit. "Like who?" one of the Lone Star boys finally asked. "Like Paul Revere, THAT'S WHO," the yankee replied smugly. After a bit more confusion among the Texans, one of them snapped his fingers in recognition of the name and replied: "Oh yeah! Wasn't he that feller who ran out of the house in the middle of the night hollerin' for help?"
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An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of London 's most expensive hotels. When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00. She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth £250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast." The clerk told her that £250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use." 'But I didn't use them," she said. ''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager. He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers fromEdinburgh, Glasgow , and Aberdeen performing here," the Manager said. "But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said. "Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied. No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque. "But madam, this cheque is only made out for £50.00." ''That's correct. I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied. "But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager. "Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have." Don't mess with Senior Citizens:mo money:
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I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk A carton of eggs A quart of orange juice A head of lettuce A 2 lb. can of coffee A 1 lb. package of bacon As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.' I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.. Curiosity getting the better of me, I said, 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?' The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.
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Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls. Eight Iron Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball. After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in the hands of a skeleton! Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!" "What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine. "Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron. The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor. "P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing." = The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?' She replied: "Everything but my ear rings!" = Fore! My five-year-old nephew wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game. "You have to count my strokes," my brother told him. "How much is six plus nine plus eight?" "Five," answered the nephew. "Okay," my brother said, "let's go." Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer. Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks. If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble. Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot. The term 'mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase 'maul it again.' A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ... neither of whom can putt very well. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse. Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink. If your best shots are the practice swing and the 'gimme putt', you might wish to reconsider this game. Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you. Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive. The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil. = Scratch Golfer Two women were put together as partners in the club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the first golfer asked, "What's your handicap?" "Oh, I'm a scratch golfer," the other replied. "Really!" exclaimed the first woman suitably impressed that she was paired up with her. "Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones!"
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A distraught senior citizen Phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication You prescribed has to be taken For the rest of my life?' 'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence Before the senior lady replied, I'm wondering, then, Just how serious is my condition Because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'..
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One day, a housework challenged husband decided , to wash his sweatshirt.. Soon after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," she replied, "what does it say on your shirt?? " He yelled back, "GO BEARS " She replied —"Use hot water, a box of Tide, and four cups of bleach ". GO PACKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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As the lawyer slowly came out of the anesthesia after surgery, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?" "There's a big fire across the street," the doctor replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."
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A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration. 'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied The wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. 'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster. ' The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'
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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?" "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents." He said, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one." "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do." Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"
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An elderly, Jewish man named Mr. Steinfeld lived in a nursing home. One day he was walking slowly down the hallway with his head down. One of the nurses saw this and asked "Mr. Steinfeld, is everything alright?" Mr. Steinfeld replied "No darling, my penis died today." Shocked, the nurse replied "I'm sorry to hear that." Mr. Steinfeld proceeded to walk slowly with his head down back to his room. The next day the same nurse saw Mr. Steinfeld walking down the hallway, but this time his pants were unzipped and his penis was hanging out. The nurse asked "Mr. Steinfeld, I thought your penis died?" Mr. Steinfeld replied "That was yesterday, today is the viewing."
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I have dealt with various bike part suppliers over the years and for the most part they have been pretty good people to deal with. Most would bend over backward to help you out. Flatout (Part shark) even expressed me a part right before I went on vacation and only charged me the standard shipping rate. Competition accessories is always outstanding. I have ordered factory parts from them years ago when they sold them and mostly apparel and shoes from them now. Tires too! Chromeglow Signal Dynamics and Custom Dynamics are other good companies I have dealt with. Our own member vendors have also been right on the money. Metzeler customer service bites the big one, as does Kuryakyn. Now to my latest problem child...JP Cycles! I sometimes bought stuff from their store in Daytona from time to time. Not fantastic prices but they had it on hand. However, a few years ago I had an issue with their internet ordering and after some back and forth they finally resolved the issue after I threatened to post the issue on this site. Stupid me...This time I went ahead and ordered a SS clutch and rear brake line from them. Price was reasonable. Prior to placing my order I had called them to physically eyeball the parts to make sure one end had a banjo and the other a straight connection. They called me back and said the warehouse pulled both parts and assured me that they were the correct lines. I immediately placed the order. A few hours later I get a confirmation email that said the clutch line was not in stock. Hmmmm, didnt they just eyeball it for me? Said it should be maybe 3-5 days. Well, 10 days goes by and no email. Contacted them again by email and asked them for a delivery date. They replied that they could not provide one. I emailed them back that I was surprised that a company the size of JP cant get a date from their own supplier. They replied that their supplier dont give times. I said so I just wait in limbo until someone there decides to send one out? All she could do was apologize. Told her to refund me my money. Not a good way to do business. They made absolutely no effort to even try to correct this problem nor did they seem too concerned to keep me as a customer. No, I didnt even mention posting on this site. Last time it got me a full refund. This time since the part wasnt even available it would have served me no purpose. But I just thought id pass this onto you all. Let the buyer beware!! OK, im finished....just needed to get this off of my chest.
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