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Showing results for tags 'peter'.
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UGLY STORY OF THE LITTLE DUCKS!!!!!! Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!" http://assets3.sparkpeople.com/assets/diet/emoticons/e40.gif
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At Vogel in 2009 Yammer Dan gave me the book Leanings, by Peter Egan, I read it and passed it on to someone else, the idea was to keep forwarding it on to other members who wanted to read it.............Where is it now, did someone decided to add to their library?
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FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven... He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.' Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St.. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.' St.. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?' Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.' Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow..' The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter. 'How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.' Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?' Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... ' 'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name'? 'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy.' 'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. 'Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the nameAndy as the first name of God?' 'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song, ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.' St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'
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Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.' Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.' Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near hishome.... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?' 'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!' 'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?' 'Never,' said Ed. 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.' He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard..... "Ed, wake up! You s**t the bed!" Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be!
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I finally got the LED's installed on my V Star. They were given to me at Vogel by Infonaut, aks Peter Harris from Philadelphia, Pa. Peter is going to be making up sets for bikes and hopefully selling them, and has also expressed interest in doing a maintaince day for LED's here in Newnan. If you contact him I am sure he can help you out big time. He gave me enough to do over my engine and then some but I only had enough connectors to do on length. That will likely change in the future as soon as I can buy some more. I posted some pics here and a short vid of them in action. These suckers are bring so good thing there is a dimmer on the remote.
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Blondes Explaining Easter Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented. The first blonde, an American, said "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and wouldn't let her in. The second blonde, a Brit, said "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus's birth and exchange gifts." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he wouldn't let her in either. The third blonde, a Canadian, said she knew what Easter was, and St.Peter said, "So, tell me." She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with his disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung him on the cross and eventually he died. Then they buried him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ... " St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good." Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey." St. Peter fainted.
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A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked. http://ca.mg4.mail.yahoo.com/ya/download?mid=1%5f4887%5fAIkIw0MAABb0TSJiaQOzx05fcK8&pid=2&fid=Inbox&inline=1 'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy said. 'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the **** out of all of you!' St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?' 'A couple of minutes ago.'
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HEAVEN AND HELL While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the Senator. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven...��� So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity." The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell." So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell... Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders. "I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?" The devil smiles at him and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted.." Vote wisely on November 2, 2010
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I put the bike up on the wonderful stand that Larry built, and started to clean, tighten and check it out before the first ride of the year, (had to dig a bit of snow drift out of the way to get it out of the shed). What did I find but cracked sidewalls on a virtually new tire. The rear tire was installed last May and only had 5000 miles on it. Well, Peter H. here on this site had the Avon reps email. (Thanks Peter!) I sent some pic's to the rep and he said don't ride unless slow to the dealer, and then have them check it out also. Dealer found some slight cracking on the front tire also, was figuring on getting a new front this spring anyways, but Avon is warranting both tires and paying $93.50 towards mount and balancing them... Would not say I am coming out smelling like a rose, as that would be a stretch right after a shower!!! lol, but am a really happy Avon user right now!! Here is my homepage with a picture of the tire: http://www.barrowfamily.barrowroad.com/ :cool10::cool10:
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I just saw the new Gieco comercial with peter frampton, Man I must be gettign old! [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiA-_p5QRJM]YouTube - Geico with Peter Frampton[/ame] http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:8hnbvemMZyumAM:http://www.davidwarnerellis.co.uk/images/large_images/PeterFrampton_2.jpg http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:4PqJLV3uE_ImyM:http://hearthemojave.vintageamps.com/peter.jpg
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