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Showing results for tags 'nun'.
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Cabbie picks up Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks why he is staring. He replies, "I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everythng. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me." She responds, "Well let's see what we can do about that: #!, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I am a Catholic!" "OK" the Nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The Nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," says the Nun, "Why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I have sinned. I lied and I must confess: I'm married and I'm Jewish." The Nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party!" HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!
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Well what happens in moose camp, is suppose to stay in moose camp, but i think i can bend the rules a bit, brother in law's birthday is also on the 31st of oct, and we where in the early draw moose season, and murt was turning 40 that year, we pack up and leave home the 30th , on the 6 hour drive, so openning morning is the 31st, our wives, as usual seend along little nich nachs for the week..... and mine Hazel) gave me this present for murt, but i was just suppose to give it to him the morning of his birthday, doing so, he unwraps it, and it's a coffee mug, on it it says YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE, so we are scratching our heads, well what the %^$#@ is that suppose to mean, well ovwer breakfast we ask murray what is his wish for the day, and he just said to drop a moose, Leaving camp we we go our separate ways, and low and behold murt drops one at 8.30 in the morning, so we dress it out, and since we cant fire up the quads till dinner, some of them go back to camp and get things lined up for taking it out, well it looked like an easy task, but what we didn't see was the waist high pile of dead fall from the old drained beaver dam we had to cross, well what a day, an hour after last light, we where 1 mile from camp with a 2 wheel quad, with a dead battry, laying on it's side in the bog hole, so we hike it up this last mile, and it is just an ugly hill to camp to pull a battry out off a truck to boost the quad, well we get into camp and there is other hunters setting up in the area who had 4x4 quad, and said they would go down and haul it up for us, and boost our other quad, must have seen we where about dead ourselves. doing that with the moose laying on our door step now, we go in and pour ourselves a good shot of rum and a coors, and pull out a snack then plan on going to the task of skinning and hanging this animal, our hunting shack is 12x16, and sleeps 6, me with rum in the hand and munching on a cinnamine bun, suddenly there is a knock on the door, me just turning a round open the door, and here there is 2 halloween'rs standing in the doorwaylight, so i just handed them my cinnamin bun, they slammed the door and where gone, well the guys in the shack where just laughing and trying to beleave their eyes, like we are 8 miles in the forest line, well they said i should have invited them in, so getting up i go out to find them, darker than the hinges of h---, out there, but i find them and told them to come in for a halloween drink. well the one person was dressed up like a nun, and the other had on a rubber mask, huge hooters, covered by a pair of coveralls and rubber boots, well they looked inside the shack and where a bit learry about comming in, so murt asked them if they wanted a beer or a stiff one, and by now our drinks, and the heat of the shack was just starting to kick in, remember we haven't ate since breakfast, well after murts statement, we all cut up laughing and said that maybe wasn't the thing to say to a nun, well these people never said a word the whole time they were in our shack, they sipped their drinks through a straw from the hole in the mask, and that is it, well from then on they would gesture something, and we would just naturally keep on putting our feet in our mouths, fwe had a bowl of peanuts on the table, and the nun picked them up and had her straw in the bowl,, well murray comments that if she can suck the peanut up through the straw, they could stay the night, other wise we have to skin this moose out and...... there is other people they should see, well gotto shorten this, i had took a roll and a half of picture of this nun trying to rip murt's( the birthday boy) shirt off, or the other person trying to crawl into a 18 inch bunk with someone, or murray just about loosing his moustach by meens of a new hunting knife left on the table, for 4 hours these people where in there, didn't say a word, but the booze doing it's thing on us, and we hung ourselves, come midnight, they just cut out of there, and where gone, well we where still trying to figure out who in the heck they where, when there was a rap on the door and in flew the masks, , here it was murrays wife, and a wife of one of the other members, had a roll and a half of pictures of murray with this nun on his lap, trying to rip his shirt off, and laurie, (the nun, who is also my sister in law) had this clear plastic mask on, where you could see her face, but yet you couldn't, because she was also on my lap in i said to myself, i have never met this woman in my life, murray says don't feel bad, she was on his lap for for the whole night pretty well and he didn't know who she was. the girls where so wired yet. they drove the 6 hours back that night, hazel seen them at 6.30 that next morning, and the girls where still laughing, pete
