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> > SUBJECT: LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR > LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE, AND POSSIBLY THE CENTURY! > > This took place in Charlotte , North Carolina . A lawyer purchased a > box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, > among other things, fire. > Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great > cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. > > In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of > small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious > reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. > > The lawyer sued - and WON! (Stay with me.) > > Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company > that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the > lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that > the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure > them against fire, without defining what is considered to be > unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim. > > Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance > company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his > loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'. > > NOW FOR THE BEST PART... > After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him > arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! > With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case > being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally > burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail > and a $24,000 fine. > > This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award > contest. > _ ONLY IN AMERICA ..... _ > _ NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD _ > _ THINK WE'RE NUTS_
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A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says. This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?" The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net. He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
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I was supposed to go to court this Friday but the EX was trying to split my case up so it's postponed till feb now! I got emergency custody of the kids two weeks before school started. So now I have the kids because she decided to pack up and move to TN from KY without asking me or the courts if she could and a long list of other stuff she's been doing. She is supposed to be paying me back for INS on the kids and a contempt charge that are court ordered and to be paid by last Dec 26th that I haven't got a dime on of yet, now we have school expenses and medical stuff to it and she owes me around 6K and climbing each month with more INS premimums. She decided to move up to Indiana shortly after I got the kids and live at her grandmas house so she could be closer to the kids for the courts to see she's a good mother but is never a round to help or even in the state most of the time. She tells the kids she can't find a job but the papers are full wanting RNs, she has a RN plus a masters and can't find one. Anyway she's not having a fit about the custody in court it's the money she owes is what she's contesting and wants a discovery or a postponement. Between my lawyer the lawyer I had to get for the kids and court every year I'm tired! But on a good note the kids lawyer doesn't want them to be in her custody because she likes to hit them and treat them like dogs. This is the very short version! Thank you for letting me vent on this! I am going crazy with it all! Just glad I have a great lady in my life to help me!
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Geez, getting unpacked and back to the routine is hard!! miss you all, but was great to see my grandchildren. Alan back to work today and truck broke down not a good start. Big appointment with lawyer tomorrow-- hope its good progress. Will have more time after that to come talk with ya
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Lawyer Noah Kushlefsky has filed suit in New York against Toyota Motor Company. Seems as though Mary Rivera purchased a new Lexus and parked it in her down stairs garage. According to the suit, the engine was so quiet that Mrs Rivera did not realize that the engine was still running. The following morning relatives found Mrs Rivera passed out in her upstairs bedroom and her boyfriend Ernst Codella (also a Lawyer) deceased in bed, victims of carbon monoxide posioning. The suit claims Toyota is liable because they failed to install an automatic engine shut off if the car is left unattended for some peroid of time. On the other hand; this may also prove you really can't fix stupid.
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BEST TRUE LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE, AND POSSIBLY THE CENTURY This took place in Charlotte, North Carolina . A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued - and WON! (Stay with me.) Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'. NOW FOR THE BEST PART... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award contest. ONLY IN AMERICA ............NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS WE'RE NUTS
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This supposedly took place in Charlotte, North Carolina. But even if it's not true, it's a great story! A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires' ... The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued and WON! ( Stay with me. ) Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'. NOW FOR THE BEST PART... After the lawyer cashed the cheque, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award contest.. ONLY IN AMERICA .... NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS THEY'RE NUTS! -
In Florida , an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days.. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case dismissed!" The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.." The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant." The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists.." The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.."; You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!
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As the lawyer slowly came out of the anesthesia after surgery, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?" "There's a big fire across the street," the doctor replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."
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Well I had a motor for my Venture and I was going to get it in Idaho. I had just received my new passport the US homeland needs for us Canadian bad boys "eh" so I'm at Sweet grass Montana customs I give them my shinny virgin passport and I swear the homeland computer sh#t itself.. Pulled over slammed into the glass security holding area ,I hear on the intercom get the K9. After several Hours printed and tossed out of the States.. So I got Banned.. I have an appointment next week with a immigration lawyer to fix this . I have traveled so many times in the US, this totally sucks I'm going to wear a turbin.http://vfrworld.com/photos/data/743/slobber.gif. Update.. Went to the lawyer and it's in his hands now. more later.:mo money::mo money:
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The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way ?' The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?' Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh . . . no, I didn't know that.' 'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?' The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again. 'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?' The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry, I had no idea.' And the lawyer says, 'So . . . if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?'
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A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As he climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the US and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?" The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot! Now, it's my turn!" The old farmer smiled and said, "No, I give up. You can have the duck!"
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well guys we are getting close to the nitty gritty........ motion hearing is this morning..... the only motions i am aware of are his motions to suppress his statement and the evidence, and for a continuance on trial date I was under the belief that these motions were argued between the prosecutor and the defense lawyer and then judge decides whether to allow or not......but apparently the police officers involved and the perps parents will be testifying this morning. I was going to go alone because dale has no paid days left til June, but when he found out they were testifying he took the day off to be there. we havent had to see the jerk since december, so it will be hard to have to look at him again today. I feel so bad for his parents having to go thru this at their age and im sure they arent happy about having to testify especially since they are sposed to be testifying on our side today( i guess its about the search of the living quarters of their son and a magazine he showed Haylie ,which is what he is trying to get suppressed, making sure it was all done legally so we can use it for evidence) ok im ratteling again........... im keeping the faith that all goes our way today........i have a feeling that if it does, his lawyer will be wanting to make a plea bargain real soon. will fill ya in later today....
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OK see if I can explain this. Some of you will remember my accident. End result is still haven't got settlement from the little Insurance he did have. Time is about to run out. My time frame expires June 14th they claim. 2 yrs from accident. Thing is no lawyer wants this. They say there is no money in it for them. I have gotten them to agree on the medical. They will pay full amount of their policy. And gotten the hospital down to pennies on the dollar. If I release them and the DRIVER from ANY other actions. Them I can understand but release him and he hits Powerball next week? They have not tried to make property settlement. I'm getting there with them but need time to work out kinks. Do I have to completely release him?? And I need to work on property. I want 4k for the "Blue Beast" She was famous wasn't she? And I want paid for all my gear that was cut off. Plus my helmet. I also lost 1500 hours of "Sick Leave" I had saved for Retirement trade. I think what I'm asking is, Do I have to release him completely and what do I have to do to get time extended quickly now. Just got my health Insurance ( which really took a hit on this to drop lein yesterday that would have taken almost all I could get. Now I've fooled around and got myself in bind trying to do this without lawyer. If I pay lawyer I won't come out with anything. Should I try to get it extended or grab what I can? And how do I get it extended??
