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I have an '87 with only 10'000 miles on it! Over its lifespan there have been several multiyear periods when it's sat idle due to persistent maintenance issues. Here is the latest. I drove it in June for approx. 10 miles and it ran fine. A few days later it "got sick"! It always starts, but when I tried to accelerate, it was exhibiting symptoms of only running on three cylinders. When I removed the air cleaner, only 3 of the sliders were moving. I've heard a lot about bad diaphragms, as well as other issues so here's what I've done (over the past 8 months). I thought that it may be a case of old gas so I initially gave it the Sea Foam treatment. No improvement. Although I couldn’t see any holes in the diaphragms, I didn’t want to leave any stone unturned so I have purchased several new diaphragms as well as slider/diaphragm kits. Just in case there was a problem with an old needle, I found a source and bought 3 new ones.($$$$$) Throughout the past 8 months I have turned it into a frustrating pastime of routinely mixing and matching sliders, diaphragms and needles to try to find a combination that would work. Here I have to emphasize that all through this process all I’ve managed to do is move the problem! The bike always starts with no hesitation but (even after it’s warmed up) it won’t respond to any acceleration. Incidentally, in order to try to minimize my efforts, I have just been juggling parts on the right two carbs only. In essence, I can get either the right front carburetor to act normal OR the right rear, but not both simultaneously. Here it is December and not only is it past riding season in New England but it’s also too cold to pursue this problem anymore in an unheated garage until Spring. Meanwhile, if anyone has any suggestions about something I haven’t tried yet, I’d sure like to hear it and I’ll take it into consideration when I resume trying to fix this problem in the Spring. It sure eats my heart out to own a bike that is mint physically but sick mechanically.

SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Partners help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH 2 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "congrats". But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job". Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated. No Underwear - Makes Sense to Me A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. 'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. 'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, 'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.' FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the *******’s name. 3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them. 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk. THERE YOU HAVE IT...and remember, life is good.

Thought you might enjoy this tale http://i1092.photobucket.com/albums/i418/twigg2324/IBA%20Saddle%20Sore%201000/IMG_0410.jpg The write up: The Iron Butt Association is a group dedicated to long distance motorcycling. It is easy to climb aboard a bike and ride it, even to ride it a long way, but to do so without preparation is to both invite disaster, and pain probably in equal measure. It is also fair to say that “long distance” to most riders would be a short afternoon drive for the dedicated LD Riders. We might consider two to three hundred miles perched atop a motorcycle to be a longish distance, and it is; but the Iron Butt rides start at one thousand miles, and just get longer. One thousand miles in less than twenty four hours, with every mile independently verifiable. That is the challenge, and it requires planning. As we will see later, it also require “doing”, and that it is possible to “over-plan”, built in flexibility will pay dividends down the road. Just under a year ago I paid $250 for a wreck of a motorcycle. It is a 1977 Yamaha XS750-2D. The bike had been stored for years under a lean-to. The tyres were rotted out, some large bits were missing, and the years had seen it become less of a motorcycle, and more of a home to various species of Oklahoma wildlife. The aim was to get the bike running, mechanically safe and sound, and create a decent machine for Jodie and I to enjoy on weekends. It would be nice to improve the appearance a little, but I’m not a guy who enjoys polishing. I like to tinker, and I love to ride. The re-build went fairly smoothly, and involved a modest outlay, lots of waiting for UPS, and some enjoyable “spannering” sessions. Slowly the bike took shape, and within a couple of months was back on the road. That was a nice time and we covered maybe 2500 miles last fall. It wasn’t enough. I had read about the Iron Butt Association, and it intrigued me. Even the introductory ride, the Saddle Sore 1000, is a prodigious riding feat, well justifying the label of “The World’s Toughest Riders”. I am not tough. I’m just me, Steve, a middle-aged family man with no pretensions to toughness. Ask the kids, I’m a pushover. Here was what caught my imagination. Could this bike that I basically rescued from a barn, carry me, husband, dad and regular guy, one thousand miles in less than twenty four hours? And could it do it safely, with at least a modicum of hope that we both might arrive back in one piece, and under our own steam? Well we nearly didn’t make it, but make it we did, and here is how …. The idea took hold in about September of last year (2010). We had ridden the bike a few times, and I had been wondering just how competent it was. It’s an old bike, 34 years old now, and does need quite a bit of “babying”, a bit like it’s rider, I guess. Never once though has it let us down while out riding, so what if the ride were to be a little longer than average? I had something to prove to myself, and so I set about planning to ride the Saddle Sore 1000. Any of the rides are possible, but this is the one that is fairest of all to ask of the motorcycle. No point pushing your luck. I used mapping software to begin working out routes. A straight out one thousand miles is possible in pretty much any direction from here, but that puts you one thousand miles from home, so a circular route, or an “out and back five hundred” works best. I planned three routes, all starting from home in Owasso, OK. I could go straight out West to Tucumcari, NM, south to Austin, TX, or a circular route taking in Oklahoma City, Wichita, KS, Kansas City, on to just short of Indianapolis, and back home. In the end I decided west to New Mexico, because I wanted to see New Mexico, and I didn’t want to negotiate the traffic in Dallas and Austin, and who the hell wants to drive across Kansas? The mapping software allows for very detailed planning, so I did. I had my route, including all the stops loaded into the Garmin GPS, and was set, so I thought, for a routine trip. The bike was prepped by changing all the fluids and checking that everything was functioning well. I have a full Vetter fairing, with lowers, and a full pannier set on the back. The most used item was my tankbag. I bought two RAM mounts to carry the phone and GPS, and would highly recommend them. I have a Motocomm intercom, which worked in some ways, and didn’t work in others. I was carrying plenty of snacks and water, a decent toolkit, two gallons of gas and a quart of oil. The biggest concern was the weather. I had been following the forecast, and the overnight low for the night concerned was 45F. This after a 70+ day with 66F the high on the Sunday. 45F is chilly, that is for sure, but it’s only for a few hours and is quite manageable with the clothing I had, including a good pair of winter motorcycling gloves. I had estimated the trip to take twenty hours and I wanted to arrive back in daylight. It seemed sensible to do the last bit of the journey, when you are tired, in daylight rather than in darkness, so I went for a start time of 10.00pm on Saturday 12th March. Everything was organized and tested. Panniers on the bike had spare gas, tools and oil. Top case was carrying clothes, a couple of cushions and water bottles, and I was ready. I was mindful of the name of this organization, the “Iron Butt”, and had tried to prepare accordingly. I know what “saddle sore” feels like, but I wanted to minimize it. I had seen an ATV seat cover in Walmart, so I bought one and fitted it. There is the first lesson. Never try something new on a ride like this, just don’t do it. I was thinking of writing to the makers of that seatcover and letting them know that, after four hundred miles in the saddle, their padded seat cover sucks! Previously I have rebuilt my seat, the stock seat being useless, and I have to say that while my amateur efforts are no substitute for a Russell Day Long, but they are tolerable. The Kum & Go gas station is one mile from home, so I started there. Filled up with gas, recorded the mileage, started my countdown clock at 24 hours and kissed my wife goodbye. A friend who has completed two of these rides agreed to be my start witness, and he rolled up on his Vulcan a few minutes before I left. When I saw Bill there, on his bike I half hoped he had decided to come along for the ride. In my heart I knew that he respected my wish to do this on my own, but at that moment, with Jodie and Bill waving me off, I felt very alone, and I didn’t want to go. I pulled away and it was a short drive to Highway 169 South. Headed down there and onto I 44 West. I was going to see a lot of both I 44 and I 40, they were the bulk of the route. I made good time down the Turner Turnpike to Oklahoma City and during that phase I discovered that the intercom wasn’t handling the phone well at all. I tried to call Jodie. I could hear her perfectly, but for some reason my microphone was useless. It worked just fine when I tested it a few days earlier, but had chosen a great time to fail. When I hit OKC, I needed gas. I had a stop programmed into the Garmin, and that is where I learned the second lesson. By all means ensure there is gas along your route, but don’t over plan. I had covered about 110 miles, and spotted a handy place to stop, so I did. I filled up, entered the mileage, etc in the log, and fed the numbers into the program on my phone. That told me something useful for a change. The bike had run 36mpg, it’s best ever, and it gave me a great figure to work with. From here on I knew to start looking for gas as I approached 120 miles on the trip meter. One hundred and twenty miles is also about as much as I can stand in one stretch, so all was good. Headed south from there, then West onto I 40. On the trip down to OKC the temperature had held steady at around 60F, and I called Jodie saying I was too warm in all the gear. I changed the winter gloves for my summer pair, and my hands appreciated that. Another one hundred or so miles found me in Canute, a small place just short of Elk City, OK. The gas station was modern, but closed. The “pay at the pump” was fine, so I filled up and called home. Life was good at this point, and I was beginning to entertain the hope that this was, in fact, do-able. As I continued along the I 40 west, the temperature plummeted. This was not in the forecast. The forecast low was 44F, yet my fancy phone was telling me that the current temperature was 35F. I didn’t need the phone to tell me it had suddenly dropped very cold. Thirty five degrees Fahrenheit, when you are rolling along at 70 mph on a motorcycle has a way of making itself known. My hands were hurting when I rolled into the Loves about ten miles short of Amarillo, TX. I didn’t know it then, but this was to be my turn-around point, and almost the end of my attempt. The temperature had sunk to 32F. I went to fill the tank with gas. At that point I was about three hundred and thirty miles from home. One third of the distance covered, I was okay, other than I was freezing … really cold. It was then I discovered that I had lost my wallet. Of all the things that can go wrong, losing my wallet was not one I had planned for. I suddenly went even colder, and had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that can only be described as a mixture of dread and horror. I frantically searched every pocket, pouch, everywhere, but it was gone. I was completely crushed. I had called the bank that day so that they wouldn’t cancel my card because of multiple purchases in three States, I had about two hundred dollars in cash just in case they cancelled anyway, and to cover other unforeseen emergencies. I hadn’t covered losing my wallet. So there I was. Over three hundred miles from home, freezing cold, butt hurting, empty gas tank, and no money other than the eighteen dollars I had set aside for tolls. I did what every other guy would have done under those circumstances. I called my wife. We worked out that I had enough money to get gas to return to OKC. I could buy about one and a half tanks, and the two gallons I was carrying would get me most of the way. Jodie would drive to meet me and bring money to get the bike home. The attempt at the one thousand miles was dead. She had said I had enough to get me to my planned turn-around in Tucumcari, NM, and she could wire money to Western Union, enough for me to continue. I vetoed that idea. If it went wrong, I would be five hundred miles from home, with no money, and no gas, and God knows what temperature! I spent about an hour in that warm place, drinking hot chocolate bought with my, now precious, gas money, and trying to warm up. It was time eaten from my twenty four hours, but I wasn’t really counting anymore. I now just faced a long, cold ride with no purpose other than getting safely home. Then a miracle happened. Jodie had manned the phones. She had tracked down the number for the last gas station and called them. She asked if anyone had found a wallet, and they had. A couple of kids had found it on the forecourt, and handed it in. It was , they said, apparently intact and still had my now cancelled Debit Card, and some cash in it. But it was still over one hundred miles in the wrong direction. Hoping there was enough cash left to get me home, I plugged the address into my navigation system, and headed back. I wasn’t hopeful, and I drove the first fifty miles back to a small place called Shamrock, OK, very slowly and feeling really quite depressed about the whole venture. As I sat in the McDonalds in Shamrock I idly looked at my countdown timer on my phone. Thirteen hours to go. You know … I just wondered if that were enough time to cover maybe six hundred miles. I still had all the receipts I needed, and I might have enough money, but I need a new route. So I did what any guy would have done, I called my wife. I left there with my route planning in Jodie’s hands, and set off in much better spirits to retrieve my wallet. That sixty or seventy miles flew by, I wasn’t too kind to my elderly, but trusty motorcycle which so far had not complained even once. I was still very cold, thirty five Fahrenheit cold, so I did what I know best. I started singing. Yeah, right there inside my crash helmet. A mad Englishman, belting along I 40 East, singing at the top of his voice all the country songs that tell the world about this desolate place we call home. I made it to Canute, having forgotten the pain in my ass for about an hour, retrieved my wallet and it still had one hundred and eighty dollars inside. All I needed now was a route. Jodie offered m a choice of two. First choice was to take the Indian Nation Turnpike South to Hugo, OK, or simply keep going along I 44 past Joplin, MO. How far past didn’t much matter. I just need enough distance. I was mindful of the verification team who later have to work out the mileage. The key is to “verify the corners”. That is … whatever route I take I need to prove I was at the extremities, and couldn’t have taken any short-cuts that would reduce the mileage. So I chose Missouri. It was a straight haul along I 44, and no corners to worry about. All I had to do was figure out how far I needed to run. It turned out to be around ten miles short of Springfield, MO. I had plenty of time. The only concern was that Jodie’s Mom (they were tag-teaming me), had warned that the weather forecast for that area was not good. They were forecasting snow. I didn’t mind too much, I was past caring, and snow would probably mean warmer! The run back to Tulsa was uneventful. It had warmed up quite a bit, although still chilly. The promised sunshine never materialized, but it was dry, the bike ran well and in no time at all I was at the QuickTrip at 21st and Garnet, Tulsa. This is only two miles from our previous home, so I know the area well. I was no longer short of time, and I half-contemplated a quick detour to have coffee at home, before getting back out. Another bad idea that I quickly dismissed. If I went home now I would never leave. Jodie reminded me that if I had to do this all over, the seven hundred miles I now had would have to be done again. I agreed, so I headed straight off towards Missouri, and some of the worst weather I have ever ridden through. It is worth noting here that I wasn’t thinking too well, and that I owe a great deal to my wife, who offered total support, and practical skills. They got me home safely. Having said that, I refused to hear what the Joplin weather radar was telling her, I didn’t want to know. I 44 East is a good road. Wide, clear and although it’s a Turnpike, that at least means a valuable time-stamped receipt. This really is a “tales of two halves”, as goes the old soccer cliché. The first half marked by the cold and loss of my wallet, with it’s attendant gloom, and the second half is a story about the weather. As I approached the Missouri State line the road became wet. It wasn’t raining, but it clearly had been. The further I went, the wetter it became. I could see the line of storms in front of me, but I had no way of knowing where they were going next. It is usual for a line running northeast to south west to be drifiting east, with the storms moving along the line to the north. I was heading east and they were in front, so for the moment I was okay. Then it started to hail! Hail in this area, at this time of the year is not to be trifled with. As I watched it bouncing off the road, the bike, my crash helmet, I was aware that it means one of two things. Either a winter storm is coming, and this is just hail, or there might be a tornado right behind it. I scanned the skies. It was still broad daylight, and I could see no wall clouds or funnels, so I figured this was the preferable, winter storm variety hail. Well that just means that it’s cold, and I’ve done cold, and cold is not going to stop me a mere two hundred and fifty miles from home. There was lttle in the way of rain, but the spray thrown up by the trucks was annoying. I was sore every where by now. My bum hurt something fierce, and I was shifting positions every thirty seconds to relieve it. The cold had gone through me, and whenever I tried to move my feet, pain shot right across my back. Strangely, I was not feeling tired, or sleepy. This was a trick being played upon me by my body. It was keeping me alert so that I could appreciate all the pain. I didn’t know whether to be p***ed or pleased. What is it about eighteen wheeler? Anyone who rides will know that passing a large truck is not pleasant. The buffeting is disconcerting at best. It makes the front of the bike “wobble”. That’s not dangerous, you just relax and let the bike manage it, which it does. But when you pass more than one truck, say on an incline, it is even worse …. And those things always seem to “hunt in paces”. I had chosen Sunday to be riding in the vain hope that there would be fewer trucks on the Interstates. Fat chance, they were everywhere. I was wishing I was in France where heavy vehicles are banned from the roads on Sundays, and the rest of us get to use them in relative peace. Te next stop was Joplin, MO. The stops were getting longer. I needed to thaw out a bit before the final out-leg to Springfield. It was getting harder because every mile was still taking me away from home. Under the old plan I would have been getting closer to home each minute. I know this isn’t real …. One thousand miles is the same distance however you do it, but it didn’t feel like that. Reluctantly, I saddle up and head east. It’s quit hailing now because it’s raining. The road is busy and I worked out I need a minimum of sixty miles before I can turn around. It’s hard. Every mile I am looking at the trip meter and despite my speed, they take forever to mount up. At fifty I am looking to turn around … Just five more miles. At fifty five I want to go home … Just five more miles. I would hate to do all this and not go far enough over the thousand to get a Certificate, so I press on. At sixty miles I spot a great gas station, so I stopped. That should be enough and I fill up, get the receipt and spent a little while warming up, with more hot chocolate. Then I called my wife again. “I’m at the turn-around and I’m coming home”. That was pretty much all that was said. I still had about one hundred and fifty miles or so, the weather was dreadful, but I didn’t care. I was going home. Still the Yamaha was behaving perfectly, it was I who was in danger of letting the bike down, but I wasn’t short of time so I was okay about it all. I now had a mere one hundred and sixty miles to go. I had a full tank of gas, and I could have covered that with the two spare gallons. On the other hand, a stop was a break, and I could afford the time. I stowed the phone in the tankbag because it was expensive and it’s not waterproof. The Garmin is. As a result, for the next leg it meant that Lattitude wasn’t giving position updates, which worried Jodie a bit. I ran all the way back to Miami, OK in the dry! It just happens that way. I called home from Miami, and I was shivering. Jodie could tell. I assured her I was fine. In fact, the only time in the whole trip that I had felt at all weary, was the first part of the run back to collect my wallet. That was a low point. From then on I had remained alert and cheerful. It stayed dry to the end of the Will Rogers Turnpike, so I stopped for a few minutes and dragged the phone back out. Safely mounted it would send out it’s signal again. At this point it would be reasonable to assume that the worst was over. I certainly felt that way. I was fifty miles from home, and had three hours to get there. The fifty miles would take me twenty two miles over the one thousand I needed. I was cruising. I could take it slow and easy. No point in rushing now and making some disastrous mistake. Although I knew I was tired, I didn’t feel it, but slowing down a bit seemed sensible. Well I did slow down. I slowed not just because I was being careful, I slowed because the weather Gods had one last trick to play on me, and it was going to get much worse than anything thus far. It rained. It rained pretty heavily. In a car, you flick on the wipers, crank up the heater a bit, yell at the kids to be quiet and just get on with it. On a motorcycle, when you have already covered nine hundred and seventy miles today, it’s not so easy. You try to keep your visor clear, you keep away from trucks because every time one passes you, or you them, your visibility goes from poor to zero, and you are left trusting that the road is where you think it is, and that the other drivers can see you. To that end I have a couple of modifications to the bike. The standard headlight has been replaced with a HID unit (more of that in a bit), and the rear has a whole array of high intensity led lights. They make me very visible, providing that folk are paying attention. As I approached Claremore, OK, I was watching the total trip recorder on the GPS. It was 998 miles and counting. I watched it through 999, then every tenth of a mile until that magic number arriver ONE THOUSAND miles. I had done it. I was done, made it, verification be damned. I had ridden one thousand miles and I knew it. I didn’t say much, or doing anything more that let out a satisfied “Yes”, with a grin so wide it nearly dislodged my crash helmet. There was still real work to be done. I was twenty two miles from home and it was about to get even worse. Still …. We, the Yamaha and me, we had done it. I left the Interstate for the last few miles and ran into problems. The road, despite the great headlight, went invisible. It was black, unmarked and wet, and I had about six miles of it. I couldn’t see a thing. My glasses had steamed up and the light can’t illuminate a black, unmarked road when it’s wet. I sat at the side of the road, called Jodie and explained, then wondered how I was going to get the last few miles to get a till receipt. In the end I just did it. With almost no visibility I managed to dry my glasses and keep most of the rain from them while I limped the few miles to a well-lit highway. I even missed the access road and had to turn around to get on. The last eight miles were easy, and I obtained a receipt at the gas station I left from twenty two and a half hours earlier. I didn’t need gas, and I didn’t want a full tank when I got home. I think the cashier thought I was some kind of wild man, because I just told him I wanted to buy something, anything that would give me a till receipt. I bought two Bic lighters, and left happy. As I rolled the bike into our garage, with Jodie waiting, it was all too much. There were tears. Would I do it again? Probably, but not for a few days! Lessons learned: The guys on the Iron Butt Forums know what they are talking about. Listen to them very carefully. Lights … You need very good ones. The HID single lamp conversion I have is terrific when it’s clear and dry. When it’s wet you need more. Keeping accurate logs is vital. It sounds like a no-brainer but believe me, when you are seven hundred miles into your ride, record keeping is not straight forward. You start to forget little things so get a routine, and stick to it. You will slow down, and the stops get a bit longer as the miles build. Allow for that. Don’t do what I did, and go when it’s cold. It was dumb. Even if it was doable at the forecast temperature, it doesn’t take much to make it a nightmare. I had great clothing. When I removed the outer layers at home, everything underneath, except my feet, was bone dry. Get good clothes. The rider is more vulnerable than the bike. A well sorted bike will run while ever it has gas, the rider is the weak point. So go rested, eat and drink regularly. Split your cash. Keep some inside your inner clothing, and if you then lose your wallet, or get your card cancelled, it’s not the end of the day. Have back-up. This success would have been a failure had I not had Jodie at home helping me when I needed help. GPS and the G2 phone were worth their weight in gold. Don’t leave home without them. A good seat is not a luxury, it will make or break you. You can ride with a little discomfort, but the pain produced by a poor seat will finish you off. There is a reason good seats cost money, spend it. Finally enjoy yourself. This is one of the few things you will do in your life that you will never forget. Try to make the memories happy ones.

There were 100 but I removed certain ones that I thought were pushing the PG limit. 1. In Oklahoma, you can be arrested for making ugly faces at a dog. 2. In Salt Lake County, Utah, it’s illegal to walk down the street carrying a violin in a paper bag. 3. In San Francisco, it’s illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner. 4. In Devon, Texas, it is against the law to make furniture while you are nude. 5. In Bozeman, Montana, a law prohibits all sexual activity from the front yard of a home after sundown. 6. In California it is illegal for a vehicle without a driver to exceed 60 miles per hour. (that would be one clever trick) 7. In Florida men seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown can be fined. 8. In South Carolina it is legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays. 9. In Tennessee, you are breaking the law if you drive while sleeping. 10. In New York, the penalty for jumping off a building is: Death. 11. In Danville, Pennsylvania, all fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires. 13. In Pennsylvania, it’s against the law to tie a dollar bill on a string on the ground and pull it away when someone tries to pick it up. 14. In New York City, it’s illegal for a restaurant to call a sandwich a “corned beef sandwich” if it’s made with white bread and mayonnaise. 15. In San Francisco, California it is unlawful to use used underwear to wipe off cars in a car wash. 16. In France, it is against the law to sell an “E.T” doll. They have a law forbidding the sale of dolls that do not have human faces. 17. In Louisiana, biting someone with your natural teeth is considered “simple assault,” but biting someone with your dentures is “aggravated assault.” 19. In Switzerland, it is illegal for a man to relieve himself while standing up after 10pm. 20. In Florida, it is illegal to fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays. 21. In Massachusetts, it is illegal to go to bed without first having a bath. (However, another law prohibits bathing on Sunday) 22. In Jidda, Saudi Arabia, women were banned from using hotel swimming pools in 1979. 23. In Samoa, it’s a crime to forget your own wife’s birthday. 24. In Alabama, prison guards are forbidden from referring to their spouses as “the old ball-n-chain.” 25. In London, England it is illegal for a City cab to carry rabid dogs or corpses. 26. In England, it is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament. 27. In England, it is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the Queen upside down. 28. In Los Angeles, CA it’s illegal for a waiter to tell a customer “I’m really an actor.” 29. In Indiana, it’s against the law to dress ‘Barbie’ in ‘Ken’s’ clothes. 30. In Sedona, Ariz., it’s illegal to lie about your astrological sign. 31. In Texas, it’s illegal to threaten somebody with an UNLOADED gun. 32. In Australia, it’s illegal to name any animal you plan to eat. 33. In Cannes, France, it’s illegal to wear a Jerry Lewis mask. 34. In New Jersey, answering a traffic cop who asks “Do you know why I pulled you over?” by saying,“If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you” is an automatic $300 fine. 35. In York, it is legal to kill a Scotsman within the ancient city boundary, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow. 36. In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague. 37. In Kentucky, it’s illegal to paint your lawn red. 38. In Portugal, it’s against the law to pee in the ocean. 39. In South Carolina unmarried women are not allowed to buy edible panties. 40. In Italy, anyone considered “obese” is forbidden from wearing polyester. 41. In Montana, it’s illegal to tear a phone book in half. 42. In California, anyone caught selling a “smoothie” that has lumps is breaking the law. 43. In Michigan, it is illegal to chain an alligator to a fire hydrant. 44. In Arkansas, it’s illegal for a woman getting married for the second time to wear a white wedding gown. 45. In Victoria. Australia after mid day on Sunday, it’s illegal to wear pink hot pants. 46. In Connecticut, night watchmen are forbidden from drinking decaf coffee while working. 47. In Kentucky, carrying ice cream cones in your pocket is illegal. 48. In International Falls, Minnesota, you can be fined if you let your dog chase a cat up a telegraph pole. 49. In Iowa, after 5 minutes of kissing you’re breaking the law. 50. In Illinois, giving a lighted cigar to a pet is illegal. 51. In the USA- 24 states say that if your husband is impotent its grounds for a divorce. (Go Viagra!) 52. In Miami, Florida, imitating animals is illegal. 53. In Oxford, Ohio, a woman undressing in front of a picture of a man is breaking the law. 54. In Baltimore, Maryland, taking a lion to the cinema is illegal. 55. In Washington, pretending to have wealthy parents is illegal. 56. In Texas, if you are going to commit a crime, you legally have to give 24 hours notice to the police. 57. In South Dakota, It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. 58. In Maryland, Randy Newman’s song ‘Short people’ is still banned on the radio. 59. In St. Louis, Missouri, if a woman is in her night clothes, it is illegal for a fireman to rescue her. 60. In Victoria, Australia, you need a licensed electrician to change a light bulb. 61. In France, it’s illegal to name a pig Napoleon. 63. In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be sentenced to death by firing squad. 64. In Bahrain, male doctors only legally examine a woman’s genitals through a mirror. 65. In Providence, Rhode Island, selling tooth paste and a tooth brush to the same customer on a Sunday is illegal. 67. In Singapore chewing gum is illegal. 68. In Arizona, hunting camels is against the law. 69. In North Carolina, it is illegal to swear in front of dead people. 71. In Burma it is against the law to access the Internet. Anyone doing so faces prison. 72. In Iowa, it is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrant. 73. In Vermont, a woman must get written permission from her husband to wear false teeth. 75. In Los Angeles, it is illegal to bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time. 76. In Oklahoma, it is against the law to have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7 PM. 77. In Israel, you could be prosecuted for picking your nose on Sunday. 78. In Sweden it is illegal to use the services of a prostitute. Prostitution is legal though. 79. In Thailand, it is illegal to leave your house without your underwear on. 80. In California, it is illegal to keep a child from playing in puddles of water. 81. In Oklahoma, it is illegal to molest an automobile. 82. In Germany, it is illegal to stop on an autobahn (expressway). It is also illegal to run out of gas on an autobahn. 83. In Turkey, it is illegal for a man above 80 yrs to become a pilot. 84. In Chicago, it is illegal for anyone to eat in a place that is on fire. 85. In Pennsylvania, it is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. 86. In Eureka, Nevada, it is illegal for men with mustaches to kiss women. 87. In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk. 88. In Miami, Florida, it is illegal to skateboard in a police station. 89. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed. 90. In Texas, it is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. 91. In Boulder, Colorado, it is illegal to kill a bird within the city limit. 92. In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle. 93. In Ames, Iowa, it is illegal for men to have three sips of beer while they are in bed with their wives. 94. In Chico, California, the law states that anybody who detonates a nuclear device within the city limits is liable to a fine of $500. 95. In Tremonton, Utah, it is illegal for a woman to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. 96. In British Columbia, it is illegal to kill a Sasquatch or Bigfoot if one is ever found. 98. In Minnesota, it is against the law to hang male and female underwear together on the same washing line. 99. In Texas, It is illegal to sell one’s own eye. 100. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.

I just sent an email to Jacksonville Daily News... I figured I'd post it here, and see what y'all thought... From: Henninger, Patrick Sent: Tuesday, March 23, 2010 2:48 PM To: 'jdnletters@freedomenc.com' Subject: 'Tis the season to pay attention. As the weather is warming up, and the skies are staying drier, people are spending more time outside, enjoying the change in scenery. Whether it’s to have a cookout, start a garden, go to the park, or just enjoy a weekend drive; more people will be on the roads. With this in mind, I’m asking everyone to take an extra moment, look a little harder and pay more attention. While many people are feeling safe in their cars, there are a lot of people like myself who are taking the covers off our motorcycles, and getting our gear together to go for a ride. I DO admit, there are many riders who act senselessly; squeezing between cars, popping wheelies, and racing down the roads, but I am not one of them. I am one of the overwhelmingly more present safe riders who keep our heads on a swivel, cruise around safely, and are always making every attempt to be aware of our surroundings while enjoying the freedom of two wheels. Even though we do everything we can, there are still people who drive their cars, trucks, vans, and SUV’s in such a manner as if motorcycles don’t exist, and it’s killing us. Literally. Read through this, and give it some thought. We’re not on motorcycles because we’re crazy… We ride because it’s a feeling of freedom that is inexplicable to a non-rider. Please put some kind of note, even if it’s a small one SOMEWHERE in the JDNEWS advising people to be on the lookout for motorcycles, since it is that time of year. I don’t know of any other way to get the message out to drivers, without another biker getting killed by a careless driver. Patrick Henninger Desktop Support Analyst Moen Inc. New Bern, NC (252) 638-3300 x6374

New member…just bought a 2004 Midnight Venture through Ebay last month after riding a ’91 HD Electra Glide since 1994. I wanted to share some initial impressions of the bike (note, after only 750 miles) and getting it ready to ride. First off, this is a great site: most of the work I’ve done on the bike has been inspired/made possible by the excellent examples made right here. Kudos to all who’ve done the grunt work of posting advice, capturing the maintenance procedures, taking pictures of the procedures, and posting them here. Well done! This is a neat bike, too. Unlike the HD—where you can do your own maintenance but it’s hard—I can do much of my own routine maintenance, and maybe some not so routine stuff, too, if required. I like the high build quality, the great chrome, and the high end parts that went into making the bike. It’s a quality piece of machinery. This bike is huge, it’s a monster; it makes the Harley look like a sports bike in comparison. Top heavy, too, it took me awhile to get used to it. HD carries its weight down low but as a penalty it scrapes the floorboards with little lean effort. The Venture has more than an inch of clearance on the HD, which contributes to its top heaviness, but makes it much more maneuverable, and I have yet to scrape a the undercarriage. Lots of power and smooth on the road. I was impressed from the start by the bike: very solid, very high quality parts and assembly. Made for the long haul. A design that dated from 1999 but space age compared to the ’91 Harley. Four cylinders and four carbs compared to two and one on the HD. Different power generation, too: all that nonsense you read about Harleys making their power down low with torque is true: they are torque monsters, making useable power from low RPMs. The Venture makes plenty of power but via revs vice torque. I found I had to be careful not to lug the engine, but after I bit I caught on. Doesn’t help that the bike doesn’t have a tach (fixing that via aftermarket add on), and how expensive would it have been to add a clock somewhere on the dash? I rode today and it was 22 degrees: engine temp gauge would have been very nice (BTW, the secret to riding in the cold is electric gloves—you heard it here first). I believe the big reason the old owner got rid of this bike is because it was due for its 16k maintenance. I suspect he make a visit to the dealer, who took stock of the situation, and advised him that the damages would be usual 800 bucks plus the cost of a new tire. The rear tire was shot, even though the e-bay site had described the rear tire as being in good shape and “changed this riding season,” whatever that means. Good shape for Zimbabwe, maybe, unsafe to ride on in the USA. So, including new rear tire, one large, at least, to keep the black bike running. I think he didn’t need to spend the money and decided to sell it and cut his losses. My good luck, at 16k it’s not hardly broken in. Specific thoughts: Fluids: I changed the engine and final drive oil. I read with interest the ongoing discussion regarding oil weight and brand. This one’s a no brainer for me: I use the oil that Momma-Yama recommends in the owner’s manual (Castrol 10W-30), but I prefer synthetic. Ditto for the final drive, used Castol synthetic 75W-90. Thanks to the great instructions I got here, also had no problem replacing the coolant, although it took awhile to get everything pulled apart. Glad that’s a job for every other year! I used a 50-50 water coolant mix I found at the local auto parts store (Prestone), guaranteed to be silicate free. Rear tire/rear end: as I mentioned, tire was shot, wear bars showing all around. Replaced with an Avon Venom…wanted a Dunlop Elite 3 but couldn’t find one that was not back ordered, and I’m a VERY IMPORTANT GUY in a hurry. BTW, I ordered one of those Carbon One jack contraptions: pure magic, and the best money I’ve spent to date, and you can’t safely do the maintenance without it. I pulled off the rear tire so I could do the 16k maintenance myself: wasn’t certain if my local shop could do it, and I wanted it done right. Got myself some Honda Moly Paste 60 as recommended here, and lubed the drive shaft (no issues getting the drive shaft back into the U-joint, maybe I was lucky), and the rear wheel…clutch fingers? Sure enough, they had not been lubed out of the factory and were dry/rusty…easy enough to do. Brakes: Never had a bike before in which the rear brake wore faster than the front brakes. Doesn’t seem natural to me, but that’s how it was: front brakes good for another 10k at least (replaced prior to?), rear brake pads shot and unevenly worn, just as this forum had . I cleaned up the rear caliper (just like I read about here) and swapped the pads (ditto) and will ride the bike for a few days until the replacement pads arrive. Question: is the rear brake a bit under gunned for the stopping duties on a 900 lb-ish motorcycle? Does this explain the rapid wear? Plugs: no drama, old ones looked great at 16k, leading me to believe that they could have stayed in for another 16k or more, but I swapped them out anyway. Also a no brainer for me: I used exactly what the manual specified, cost about $2.50/ea at the local auto parts store. Carbs: smelled of gas with fuel economy in the low 30s…sounds like a carb synch was in order. Pulled out my old Carb-stick (Stix?) that I used on my ‘79 BMW R100 RT (great bike!): only two carbs. The HD, of course, uses only a single carb, so the Carb-Stick had not gotten much work in the past decade or so. Bike was badly out of synch, both between 1-2 and 3-4, as well as between the two banks. Noticeable improvement in tractability after the effort, although the idle fell way off. Cranked up the idle but the bike didn’t feel right so I re-resynched the carbs. Sure enough, the change in idle speed upset the synch, so did the entire process over again, making certain the idle and synch were adjusted in tandem: this is a dynamic process. Waiting on next fill up to see how the fuel economy is doing. I’m pretty sure it can’t be any worse than it was. Windshield: Very tall, almost too tall for me, and I’m 6’5”. Fully agree with the comment on this forum that the tall windshield in the dark when it’s raining is unsafe—it is. Next purchase will be either a new ‘screen or saw blades to cut it down. That will have to be replaced BTL (before too long). What’s next: Rear shock groans, but doesn’t leak, I need to put in the two ounces of brake fluid down the Schrader valve and see where that takes me. Other than that, I think it’s about ready to go, unfortunately, winter’s here, so in depth evaluation will have to wait for awhile.

Help?! Maybe some of you technical folks could offer some suggestions?? A friend of mine has a brand new (2008) VSTAR 1100 Classic - only 5,100 miles - purchased 3 months ago. She has been experiencing several mechanical problems - all of which (in my opinion) the dealer may be blowing incorrect information to her - and/or just not knowledgeable on this type of motorcycle. Thought I would ask if any of these mechanical issues sounded familiar - or may have thoughts on what to specifically say to try and get these issues resolved (other than blowing off the dealer). I did a copy and paste of her e-mail: These things don’t happen all of the time which makes it hard to diagnose and then fix, but they happen often enough to be frustrating, irritating and annoying. The gear(s) issue is what worries her the most because we like to ride twisty mountain roads. popping sound from exhaust – this happens on acceleration and/or deceleration - level and hilly (high elevation) areas. The dealer told her it was the “air injection system”. It wasn’t “blocked off” before which allowed too much air to come through the exhaust causing the back-firing and popping noises. it’s not shifting into neutral on a “regular” basis. First gear and neutral having problems. The bike originally had issues with getting into neutral. The service tech lowered the shifting lever; it work(s)(ed) a lot better. BUT, it’s still not 100% all of the time. I can’t always get the bike into first gear; it wants to stay in neutral or like Sunday, going around a corner, went into neutral. I am being told that this problem is common with this bike – and tends to go away on / after 7,000-8,000 miles on the bike. Hard to start: when they blocked the air injection [section or whatever it’s called], this may “fix” that problem. Didn’t matter whether it was cooler temps or warmer, I was having problems. Again, it doesn’t happen all the time. Thanks, anyone - for any ideas and/or suggestions which I may pass on to her.

Hey sleepy, you were asking about the product so here you go... Over the last few months I’ve been experimenting with a product and I find it helps tremendously to keep the white walls clean and looking white. It provides a coating and helps seal the rubber to prevent brake and road dust from embedding in the rubber. The product is “Inflatable Boat Protectant” and it’s made by Strico Products Limited. I’ve been using this product for over ten years on my Zodiac and its great stuff. It’s designed to protect the boat material from UV rays and subsequently the coating also makes the material much easer to clean. I thought of using this product on the tires one day after having worked so hard to clean them up. I did want time to test the product before I mentioned it on the forum, it’s been almost three months and 6000 miles and thus far I’m more then satisfied with the results. *Please note this is ‘not’ a cleaner. The product is designed for PVC and Hypalon and is also suitable for Vinyl and rubber. It’s a milky liquid that you apply with a ‘small’ (about 1 sq. inch) sponge or piece of paper towel. Although this product has a dry finish and does not wash off with water *Do not put any product on the part of the tire that comes in contact with the road. I put two coats on in the spring to test the product and another two coats when I washed the bike a month later and haven’t put any since. Just wipe it on and let it dry about 10 minutes between coats, two coats should do (more is not necessarily better). I won’t have to put any more on for a while now as it seems to hold up very well, even after washing. It will dry with a bit of a sheen (which I think looks good) but more importantly it makes cleanup MUCH easer and you won’t have to scrub so hard or as often to get the ww’s clean. I wipe mine with a little Vim and I’m done. It helps keep the white white and the black black, I also use it on some of the vinyl. Use what you want to clean up the tires there are a lot of products that work just fine. Just make sure that when you put this stuff on that the tire is clean and dry. You won’t have to be as aggressive with the cleaning after applying the Strico. Now for the bad news, this bottle has lasted me for a while, I’m not sure where you can get it or if it’s still even available. I’ll go back to where I got this bottle and see what I can find out, in the meantime if anyone else happens to know where it can be found please lets us know.

It’s officially 50F., bright sunshine, little wind, and I still can’t ride. The road between the house and the nearest pavement is still covered in ICE and snow. What a bummer. Winter is supposed to return on Thursday, and it’s unlikely that the road will clear before we get more snow. It’s been that way all winter, when just one more day of clear weather would open the road, more snow arrives. I certainly don’t want the drought years to return, but at least we could ride in the winter then. I guess I'll be:draming: until I can

Rebuilt the clutch on my RSV yesterday. After getting it back together I thought I would crank and do a warm up to check for leaks before putting the Stebel horn back on in case I had to go back in. Starter button only buzzed and the radio keep turning off. I checked my battery purchase date and it’s a year and half old so I go buy a new one. Yikes the problem is still here! Guess what? The Stebel mount bolt is a needed ground so after getting it back on all is well. Out some misery and 80 bucks but I have a new battery. LOL

Cruising through Richmond with friends beware. http://www.delmarvanow.com/graphics/ad_arrow.gif ADVERTISEMENT http://www.delmarvanow.com/graphics/ad_arrow.gif RICHMOND '08: It remains illegal to ride motorcycles side by side By Alex Bahr Capital News Service RICHMOND – Virginia will remain one of only two states in the nation where it is illegal for motorcyclists to ride side by side in a lane. House Bill 48 aimed to make it legal for motorcyclists to ride abreast in a single lane but was defeated in a 9-9 vote by the Transportation committee during a Tuesday committee meeting. http://www.delmarvanow.com/graphics/ad_arrow.gifADVERTISEMENT http://www.delmarvanow.com/graphics/ad_arrow.gif The vote came as a disappointment to Jim Cannon, director of the Virginia Coalition of Motorcyclists. “I was sitting there sick to my stomach,” Cannon said. “I don't know how with no data they can do that.” Vermont is the only other state where riding two abreast in a lane is illegal. The penalty in Vermont is a traffic infraction. In Virginia, it is a misdemeanor carrying harsh penalties. “I believe it’s a bit draconian to make it a penalty with an up to $2,500 fine and up to 12 months in jail for something that is legal in 48 other states,” Cannon said. “It defies logic to me.” Delegate Edward T. Scott, R-Culpeper, voted in favor of the bill. “I supported that measure last year and then again this year,” Scott said. “I think it’s reasonable, and the fact that there are 48 other states that allow it, it’s fair to allow Virginia motorcyclists to do the same thing.” Del. Joe T. May, R-Leesburg, a motorcyclist himself, supported the bill in Tuesday's meeting. “I really don't see any problem, although I don't usually choose to ride two abreast,” May said. “But in terms of the bill, it appears to me, based off my own personal experience, to be a safe and reasonable thing to do.” Those who opposed the bill cited safety concerns and unclear language as reasons for voting against the measure. “If a wreck were to occur, and two drivers were in the same lane, whose fault would it be?” said Delegate G. Glenn Oder, R-Newport News. “It’s the unanswered questions in the bill that create problems for the courts, for the insurance industry and for the safety of our drivers … We've had over a thousand deaths occur on the highways of Virginia this year, and I think this bill makes our highways even more unsafe.” Delegate Charles W. “Bill” Carrico, R-Independence, did not support the bill, citing a lack of evidence. “I've seen this bill several times, and it’s been brought up as an issue that … riding two abreast in a single lane is safer and gives them a wider view of the lane,” Carrico said. “But that’s the only thing they have ever said, and they have never shown any real evidence that it’s safer, and they've really never shown any evidence that it’s a better view.” Carrico takes issue with the theory that riding two abreast in a lane offers riders a wider field of vision than when riding behind another motorcycle. “If it obscures their vision so much to ride behind a motorcycle, how can they ride behind a car?” Carrico said. Some opponents of the legislation argue that since Virginia police often ride side by side when escorting processions and motorcades, motorcyclists also should be permitted to ride two abreast. “They're not constantly riding side by side all the time. It’s just a short period of time before they hit the next intersection,” Carrico said. “And they're conscious of the fact that it’s dangerous, and they've had a whole lot more training than most people that get on the highway with a motorcycle.”

My mechanic has been a busy one lately. I’ve noticed that a lot of my friends also show up at his door asking questions, getting advice, sharing a story or two and making him laugh with some of their jokes. I just don’t know how he keeps up with the, now two, shops that he looks after plus his family his property. I sure glad he’s got some help with some of the locals. What bothers me sometimes though, is how long will he stay on. Very few of his customers pay him anything because he just won’t present a bill, he says it all from the goodness of his heart, and I believe that to be true. The other day though, I did leave him a little something so that he could maybe repaint the front door or maybe replace the chairs that we seem to have worn out by sitting on and watching him work. I’m thinking to make up a sign so that more of the other ‘locals’ will leave a little bit so that this winter when it gets cold, it could be a little warmer when we sit around and chat. I figure that with a little over the 3000 customers he has, we should be able to keep quite warm this winter. Yep you guessed it, MY MECHANIC is this site and if I need to say more this part will have to go to part 3. I really think that just counting the bike info we get, let alone all the other entertainment, comradery, prayers, support, physical help, and more, that we get from this site, we certainly would not want to forget to place just a little something in the donation box. Ok I’ve said too much, but it’s been on my mind and I couldn’t shake it. Now it’s done. Carl