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Showing results for tags 'duck'.
Found 17 results
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UGLY STORY OF THE LITTLE DUCKS!!!!!! Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!" http://assets3.sparkpeople.com/assets/diet/emoticons/e40.gif
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You 2nd Gen riders better watch out, 1st Gen not so much... 100mph tickets link
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Something to do when you get bored. RandyA http://www.bassfiles.net/parachute.swf
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ROTFLMAO http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHMNkrD2SOU
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Hope you have a great one up there buddy. What did Leslie get you??? I love you sweetheart(not you Skid) You don't look a day over well...... You know I ain't no good at them things....
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Three little ducks go into a Bar...... "Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck. "Huey," was the reply. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey. "Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?" "Dewey," came the answer from duck number two. "So how's your day been, Dewey! ?" he asked. "Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?" The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?" "No," she said, batting her eyelashes. "My name is Puddles."
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Your Duck is Dead-- A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
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A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As he climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the US and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?" The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot! Now, it's my turn!" The old farmer smiled and said, "No, I give up. You can have the duck!"
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Anyone have the paint codes for a 2007 Galaxy Blue/Raven Venture? Sticker under the seat doesn't seem to match the fiche. TIA Duck
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In case anyone missed it, just wanted to let them know that Willie Nelson no longer has his tail feathers.... After the actions at the first Potato Creek Rally, I got to wondering if there was any connection between Squidlymoving to Texas and Willie loosing his tail feathers.... :duck:
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got home about a hour ago went out to cover the venture before it rains. and darn it i left the cover at a friends house. just how much rain can a old 84 venture stand? its pouring out there so hard i cant see across the street. bike is parked between 2 cars. but it looks like a poor duck out there. it needs to be washed but gee not that bad. so has anyone else been stuck in this type situation? radio tape player should be ok i hope?
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Has anyone tried the braided stainless steel brake lines on the RSV? I've got 'em on my Duck and they are FANTASTIC!! REALLY made a significant difference in brake feel...will it do the same on the Venture? Seem's to me like the brakes are a little "soft", at least compared to my old Duck or the FJR I traded for the Venture. I really like "solid" brakes. Any ideas? THANKS!
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when in leaning thru a curve ( More to left) Im getting a Hummm Sounds like its coming from the front but not sure. If It needs bearings is it a standard bca # Or is it a ODD duck ? Planed on going on a trip this weekend... HELP:crying:
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Actually his name is Benelli. He will be DkKnight's hunting partner hopefully by next duck hunting season. Tom was retrieving his own ducks. One time he was hunting with a friend who has a Lab and Tom was out of the blind to retrieve the duck as fast as the dog. So they started calling him "Milkbone". Hopefully Benelli will be a great retriever and Tom won't have to be "Milkbone" anymore. [ATTACH]24865[/ATTACH]
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This guy got his wife real good........ http://www.maniacworld.com/firecracker-gun-prank.html
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Just to really confuse you. Guess who just signed up, pony tail and all, to be a volunteer at the Republican National Convention this summer............
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CUTTING DOWN A WINDSHIELD Cutting lexan is easy if you have patience and a Sabre saw or a Dremel You will also need: 1. Duct tape 2. A fine tooth blade for the Sabre saw or a Dremel with a cutting wheel 3. Big sheet of poster board 4. Fine tipped marker 5. Bastard file 6. Various grades of emery cloth and wet and dry sand paper First, decide how much lower you want the windshield. Cover the windshield with the big piece of poster board, and mark carefully where the lower point of the windshield is. There should be some mounting points, or a bar that goes all the way across the windshield at about handle bar height. Tape the poster board to the windshield or get a friend to hold the poster board while you trace the outline of the windshield, paying close attention to the top curvature. Spread this paper on a level surface, and cut out the pattern you now have of your full size windshield. If you need the windshield lowered 1", take it off the BOTTOM of your pattern or fold the pattern up 1"!! Very important--you are not cutting the windshield as the bottom, but rather you are "lowering" curvature of the windshield so that now your pattern will show the curvature 1" lower. Take the windshield off the bike, lay it down carefully on a blanket or something where the windshield won't get scratched. Put your new shorter pattern on the windshield. Eyeball where the new top will be, and put a layer of duck tape in the rough area of where you will be cutting so the windshield won't crack while cutting. Now tape the pattern down correctly, and trace your new top curve onto the duck tape. I put the windshield on my lap, main curve upward. BE CAREFUL WHILE CUTTING. Start your Sabre saw on one edge, and SLOWLY, work up the line you've traced onto the duck tape (or Dremel if you choose to use that tool instead). Soon you'll have the excess 1" (or whatever) on the floor. Now with the bastard file smooth out the cut you just made. Use your artistic sense to get this part done. Take off the duck tape, and using the file, start "rounding" or beveling the edge. BE CAREFUL!! The file slips, you get a scratch, it's there forever. When you get it roughed in, use a block with emery cloth around it to do the fine work. Finish off with fine emery paper, wet, and eventually you will have a factory edge. Total time s about 2-4 hours, depends mainly how picky you are about making the edges just so. Submitted by Camo
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