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Showing results for tags 'diet'.
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Someone actually spent a lot of time to figure out (and chart/map) what common slang term for carbonated beverages is used, by locale, in the US. What do you call them in your area? (There is no chart/map for the Canada.) I know there are many Canadians on this site; What terms do you guys use? What other names can you think of? Pop, Soda, Suds, (I think suds is slang for beer). http://i.imgur.com/rlwJ2.gif I drink Walmart brand caffeine free diet cola, but I ask my wife to "Please bring me a "coke"." As I ride around the country, I want to "speak the language" of the locals. It always amazes me when I'm in a restaurant and ask for a diet coke and they tell me, "We have Pepsi; Is that okay?"... I wonder how many people actually say "Oh, no. I don't like Pepsi". I'm not saying they don't taste a little bit different from each other, but seriously.... Bonus question...Who sells more Coke than The Coca Cola company?
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Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Curley, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's BUTT and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. I guess why thats what makes Marcarl so appealing to us:witch_brew:
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My friend was terribly overweight, so my doctor put him on this diet. He said, 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and then repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.' When he returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs! 'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?' Yes he said...'I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead on the 3rd day on this diet." "From the hunger", asked the doctor. 'No, from the skippin'.
