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Showing results for tags 'clerk'.
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An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of London 's most expensive hotels. When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00. She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth £250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast." The clerk told her that £250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use." 'But I didn't use them," she said. ''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager. He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers fromEdinburgh, Glasgow , and Aberdeen performing here," the Manager said. "But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said. "Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied. No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque. "But madam, this cheque is only made out for £50.00." ''That's correct. I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied. "But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager. "Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have." Don't mess with Senior Citizens:mo money:
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Subject: Boudin Sausage (FYI - BOUDIN IS A SPICY PORK SAUSAGE) EVERYONE IS IN A HURRY TO SCREAM 'RACISM' THESE DAYS! BOUDREAUX ASKS A STORE CLERK, 'IN WHAT AISLE COULD I FIND THE BOUDIN?' THE CLERK LOOKS AT HIM AND SAYS, 'ARE YOU CAJUN?' BOUDREAUX (CLEARLY OFFENDED) SAYS, 'WELL, YES I AM. BUT LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. IF I HAD ASKED FOR ITALIAN SAUSAGE, WOULD YOU ASK ME IF I WAS ITALIAN? OR IF I HAD A ASKED FOR GERMAN BRATWURST, WOULD YOU ASK ME IF I WAS GERMAN? OR IF I ASKED FOR A KOSHER HOT DOG. WOULD YOU ASK ME IF I WAS JEWISH? OR IF I HAD ASKED FOR A TACO, WOULD YOU ASK IF I WAS MEXICAN?' IF I ASKED FOR SOME IRISH WHISKEY, WOULD YOU ASK IF I WAS IRISH?' THE CLERK SAYS, 'WELL, NO, I PROBABLY WOULDN'T!' WITH DEEP SELF-RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION, BOUDREAUX SAYS, 'WELL THEN, WHY DID YOU ASK ME IF I'M CAJUN BECAUSE I ASKED FOR BOUDIN?' THE CLERK REPLIED, "BECAUSE YOU'RE IN HOME DEPOT!"
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Billy Bob was out behind the barn smoking a cigarette in the rain when his sister caught him. She said, Billy Bob how can you keep a cigarette lit while it's raining so hard? He said , I cut the end out of a condom and put it over my cigarette and it stays dry. She said , I'm going to have to try that. Next day she went to town and into the local drug store where she ask the elderly gray headed clerk for a pack of condoms. The clerk asked her what size she wanted to which she replied, I don't know I just want a condom for a camel. The clerk fainted.
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But I sure know who ended up getting a sweet deal. As we are serving breakfast on Sat and Sunday morning at the Pork in the Pines this year, (which, by the way is free for all in attendance) I realized that I needed to get a large griddle on which to fix breakfast. Had been checking prices, and the best price I could find for the griddle I wanted was $100.00 at Cabelas. This was the double burner Camp Chef cast iron walled griddle 15x32 inches. Well, last night I was at Gander Mountain and decided to check their camping equipment. You know, just in case I saw something that I really, really didn't need at the right price. Well, looking at their cast iron cookware, I see the Camp Chef Double griddle stuck in behind a bunch of other camp cooking equipment. No price on the box, so I ask the clerk working the section to check the price for me. He pulls it up on the store computer and quotes me a price of $59.00. This about knocks my socks off, so I ask him to check again just to verify that he looked up the right one. Yep, he says $59.00. Get to the check out, and the clerk scans the bar code and it comes up $79.00. This is still a great price, but I tell him the clerk in camping had checked the price and it was $59.00. So, the cashier calls the clerk in camping who confirms that he told me the price was $59.00. They talk for a few minutes, and the cashier says, "OK, if that's the price you quoted him, I'll go ahead and do a mark down". Couldn't get the plastic out fast enough. So, now you folks have another reason to come to the 2009 Pork in the Pines Pig Roast. Besides the great food, free camping, getting to meet old friends and make new ones, you can stop by and marvel at my great deal on the griddle. Only 8 weeks to go and counting down. If you haven't registered yet, you can register on line at www.porkinthepines.com And remember, this year there is no admission charge. But donations will be graciously accepted. Heck, even if you decide you can't make it this year, we would still be more than happy to accept your donation to help us off set the expenses. BTW: Just in case anyone was concerned, I finally got my Smilies working again.
