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Showing results for tags 'attendant'.
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While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan ' An old Master Sergeant sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, 'Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?' When the attendant came by he said 'Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?' 'Yes,'! said the attendant, 'In fact, this entire crew is female.' 'My God,' he said, 'I wish I had two double scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit.' 'That's another thing, Sergeant,' said the crew member, 'We No Longer Call It The Cockpit' 'It's The Box Office.' Quote of the day: 'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of ****.' Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly....on a broomstick. We are flexible like that.
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A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Air New Zealand from Auckland to Sydney. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant,' If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?" The boy said, "Yes, she did. "Well, then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Air New Zealand always pulls out on time. And ask her explain that to you."
