most folks come to an event such as this to be "shown the sights" and to enjoy them as a group and interact with said group while enjoying the sights. and play follow the LEADER so they can enjoy the sights rather than play the findit yerdamnself program.
same goes for eating as a group, I agree that the "pay your own way and pick your own food is less of a pita for the host, but at least find a location that has a buffet or a quick service that can accommodate a large group each day, and if the want to go to mcdonalds, let them!
without the group interaction as a choice, we might as well just share a phone call and sit in our garage and talk about your location and mine . $.02