saddlebum

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!! Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. · My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. · The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. · My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. · My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. · I had no control over the drooling. · Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. · I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return! PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!! :bang head:

Thats just wishfull thinking on your part. Its a second gen THEY ARE SLOWER:rotfl:

You mean to tell me cupcake that you haven't tried it:confused24:

My Father is still struggling with delirium and pneumonia. But for the second day in a row his white blood cell count has lowered some. So it would appear the stronger antibiotic is at least having some effect on whatever infection he has. He is also eating a bit more solid food Today I gave him a shave and a manicure (of sorts) and he really seemed to like that.. He is still however very delusional and agitated so at night the nurses put his bed out in the wing right beside their station were they can keep a close watch on him. Once again thanks for all your prayers Ben Bennink

The LORD has so directed our paths this past week in ways we never could’ve imagined. Many of you have heard what has happened in this past week, but I think it would be best if you heard it from me. On Wednesday I took Nathan into the Dunnville ER, he was complaining about sore lower legs especially the left one, he was also not feeling well. We thought it was just a virus, and they would give Nate some pain medication and send him on his way. The LORD had a different plan for Nathan. He deteriorated through out the day, and so they transferred him by ambulance to Hamilton General ICU. Immediately he was rush upstairs where they began to work on Nate. They sent him for a Cat Scan and gave him blood products en route. Within a couple of hours we were notified that Nathan had necrotizing fascitis an extremely fast acting bacteria that attacks (eats) the tissue and muscle, and had to be sent for surgery as quickly as possible. Before going in I was able to spend some time with Nate. The LORD allowed us to join in prayer and recite our wedding text. The Holy Spirit was at work in Nate and he was so at peace, his last words to me were "God is in control". Aileen has asked me, (Stephanie, Nate’s sister) to take over as she’s not quite sure how to continue. I hope that I can relate things in proper detail for her. At 10pm I had a brief conversation with Aileen who quickly updated me on what they had just diagnosed Nate with and told us that he was heading into surgery immediately. Nate went into surgery shortly before 11pm. Family and friends quickly gathered and waited. Shortly after 2 am the doctors were able to informed Aileen and then the rest of us that Nate had survived surgery but was in critical condition. Due to the extent of the bacterial infection the doctors had to remove Nate’s left leg above the knee. The right arm and right leg were also effected, a lot of tissue was removed, but surgery had to be aborted due to heart failure. They were able to resuscitate and stabilize Nate. We thanked our Heavenly Father for allowing Nate to survive and giving him more time here on earth with us. In the morning the doctors informed us of how critical Nate’s condition was and that he would likely need further surgery to remove additional damaged tissue. We were able to give thanks again later that day that when the doctors did the daily bandage changes they were extremely impressed with how little extra tissue damage there was, especially considering how quickly they had to abort the procedure the night before. It was determined that surgery was not need that night as had first been expected. Our Heavenly Father has provided us with much to be thankful for once again. God knew we all needed rest. We were able to see Nate before we went home to rest. All things considering, Nathan looked peaceful and was finally receiving the rest he so badly wanted the day before. Each of us were able to get a few hours of rest before we received a call at 10:30 am Friday morning that it appeared the infection had spread into Nate’s abdomen. Surgery would be necessary once again. God graciously granted us a few hours to spend at Nate’s bedside in prayer and encouragement. At 5:30pm Nate was finally taken to surgery. While the situation continues to remain extremely unstable and critical we could be thankful that the bacteria had not entered the abdominal cavity. Further tissue removal was necessary on both the right and left side of his torso. Once again surgery had to be aborted when Nate began to become unstable. God once again showed His mercy and compassion in allow the surgery to be abort before Nate endured heart failure again. Together with family and friends we were able to pray and sing Psalm 121 and Hymn 49. At the time of writing Nate continues to remain very unstable as the doctors try stabilize his blood pressure, heart and bleeding. We continue to covet your prayers. "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1 Saturday, October 30, 2010 At 10:30 this morning one of Nathan's many doctors came into talk to us. Nathan had a very rough night. He lost a lot of blood and needed many many units of blood products. A few different doctors were called in to have another look at all the sites. They found a few arterial pulsers (arterial vessles open and bleeding) which they were able to stich up. There was one site that they were unable to get too. They are hopeful that with in a few hours they might be able to stablize his blood levels. In all this we know that God is caring Nate in His arms and He is the master physician. The other difficult news we recieved was that Nathan's lungs are struggling. They are not quite sure why and are running a few tests this morning to check things out. We are thankful that God is in control and He knows the plan set out for Nathan. It has been overwhelming all the things that have gone on but we thank each of you for your continued prayers and petitions to the LORD. "Hear my prayer, O LORD let my cry for help come to you. Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me when I call, answer me quickly" Psalm 102: 1 &2 Please continue to pray for Nathan, myself, his parents and siblings. On behalf of Nathan and His familly I thank you all for your prayers Ben Bennink

should have called the cops on him that was clearly defacing property and vandalism

definitly

But yesterday after leaving the hospital and arriving at work I was confronted with some very bad news. A young truck mechanic I worked with went home early wed. Because he was feeling very ill. Thursday morning his young wife called in and informed our employer that doctors had to remove Nathan's left leg above the knee. The right arm and right leg were also effected, and a lot of tissue was removed, do to flesh eating disease. On top of that he almost died on the operating table. Nathan is one of those rare people who is always helpful and never has a bad thing to say about anyone. He has two very young preschool children and a wonderful wife. I truly would love to see the same shared prayers sent for this young man as was shown for my father and others in need of them.

Nothing unique or creative about saddlebum. I just chose it becasue there is no place I would rather be than either in the saddle of a motorcycle or the saddle of a horse. .. and that life seems to always saddle me with bills.

Good for you. Hang in there its the best thing you can do for both you and your family:thumbsup2:

Just a short update on my Fathers condition. not much has changed he seems to be at a stale mate with his infectio so they are going to put him on a stronger antibiotic. they are also keeping him on the drug to help control his delirium, which is not improving any. Once again thanks for all the prayers and well wishes.

Keep up the fight . A friend of mine went through it and lost. As soon as she got full custody she stuck him in a military school and left him there. She never wanted him, she just wanted to use him to to punish the husband. It took another long expensive fight to get him out of there and have custody turned over to him, which he finally was able to do. Funny even with her sticking the son in that school signing papers that no one but her was to visit him, which she never did. The courts still leaned in her direction and He had a hard fight, which He finally after maney thousands of dollars won. The two of them have bonded greatly and he is ever so happy he never gave up.

There is one major problem with the venture 1st gen or 2nd gen that no one here has mentioned. The longer you ride it the harder it is to get off of. Some have even started to look at there home as a drive in pit stop and expect their wives to bring breakfast lunch and supper out to the bike. This could result in some serious issuse at home. or as the saying goes------AND THATS WHEN THE FIGHT BEGAN.

Very sorry to hear about your friend and yes the internet can be full of heartless self rightous people. The same people who probably narrowly escaped the same or samiliar fate on many occasions themselves. They usually like to chalk it down to personal skill and ability when 9 times out of 10 it was just shear luck, just as it was bad luck that the car happen to be where it was when it was. He may well have been at fault, but are we not all guilty of doing something dumb or at the wrong time now and again but just happen to be plain lucky for not having to pay such a dear price for a moments indiscretion. Prayers sent in hopes that all is not lost and he may still pull through.

Thanks everyone for all your prayers and well wishes. As always this group shows amazing concern for one another. I noticed it when i first joined this site 4 years ago. and am reminded of it every time I log on. Sadly, all though the surgery itself appears to have been successful, my Fathers mental state continues to decline. Yesterday he did not even recognize my Mother and me. To add to this, the doctor asked us about resusatation should the situation arise. This only served to really upset and panic my Mom, who has been strong up until this point. I had to remind her that we have been here before with him and he pulled through. Deep down however I am myself, starting to worry that, what if this time he does not pull through. It is really hard to sit there and feel totally helpless to do anything for him.

If he would teach Hope to clean her own fish, . . . . . . . . . . There would not be fish on his hands:rotfl:

If thats what it takes to get him (mmmm cheese cake ) I mean him up back up here so be it.

I put mine on the Helmet hook behind me. I figure if any gremlins drop out causing pot holes, I want it to happen behind me not in front or under me.

A little late seeing this but glad to hear you are ok. Saddly all the motorcycle traing and experience in the world though it helps to prepare you to deal with situations, it does nothing to help control how others drive. It seems bikers should have been born with heads like an owl and eyes like rabbit.

Hey Don I am surprised you have not set up a survay link to keep track the numbers. looks like some pretty good interest adding up here. Also what are the odds of buying direct from the manufacture. I am sure if you reach 100 they would be interested in talking.

Small neck , large bottom, seems about right

bump

Pretty well anything from 1986 and up should fit. However some of the earlier MK1's also share some similiar parts.

Hey I'll go one better for ya I'll even put it in safe storage

Seeing as you no longer have a cassette player can I have your old cassette collection can I, can I, can I.