The Marshal
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A fire started on some grasslands near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer group be called. Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call was made. The volunteers arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They rumbled straight towards the fire, drove right into the middle of the flames and stopped! The firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily-controlled parts. Watching all this, the farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and was so grateful that his farm had been spared, that right there on the spot he presented the volunteers with a check for $1,000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds. "That ought to be obvious" he responded, wiping ashes off his coat. "The first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on our fire truck!"
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Stadium Yamaha is a really great place to do your bidness. I have talked with the owner, and he is serious about Customer Service. Sadly, all the MC shops in the D/FW area will ignore you if you walk in, unless you are on a zoomie Go-fast bike, and are about 22 yrs old. HA! Not true at this place, they are a small shop, but they have always taken care of me, looked me in the eye, and thanked me for my business. So even though there is a Yamaha shop 2 miles from my house, I ride across the Metroplex to go to Stadium.
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As the lawyer slowly came out of the anesthesia after surgery, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?" "There's a big fire across the street," the doctor replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."
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A woman looking desperately for work goes to the toy plant where they make Elmo dolls. The Personnel Manager goes over her resume and tells her that he regrets that he has nothing worthy of her background that he might offer her. The woman replies that she really needs work and will take almost anything. The Personnel Manager thinks about it and then says that he does have one job that requires very low level skills -- on the Tickle Me Elmo production line. The woman is thrilled at the opportunity and happily accepts the job. Then the manager takes her down to the assembly line and explains her duties to her. She replies that she thinks can handle the job, and agrees to report for work at 8:00 a.m. next morning. The next day at 8:45, there's a knock on the Personnel Manager's door. The Tickle Me Elmo line manager comes in and starts ranting about the woman just hired. After the line manager screaming for 15 minutes about how badly backed up the assembly line is, the Personnel Manager suggests that the line man show him the problem. Together they head down to the line and, sure enough, Elmos are backed up from here to kingdom come, as far as the eye can see. Right at the end of the line is the woman just hired. She has pulled over a roll of material used for Elmo's furry exterior and she has a big bag of marbles at her side. Both managers watch as she cuts out a small swatch of the material, takes two marbles and begins sewing them between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager starts to kill himself laughing, and finally, after about 20 minutes of rolling around in hysterics, he pulls himself together and walks over to his newest employee. "I'm sorry," he says to her. "I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. What I wanted you to do was give each Elmo two test tickles."
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A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"
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A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
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A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked. "I am." said the man. "I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?" The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one." "No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said. "Here's your chicken." said the farmer.
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New choke knob from Starparts
The Marshal replied to Freebird's topic in Royal Star Venture Tech Talk ('99 - '13)
Just ordered mine to go with my Key. Yay! Sean is a great guy to deal with. -
A seven year old boy was at the center of a Dallas County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree reasonably possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Dallas Cowboys professional football team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
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The Reverend Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church and Pastor Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant Church across the road. They were both standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that read: 'Da End is Near Turn Yo Sef 'Roun Now Afore It Be Too Late!' As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, 'You religious nuts!' From around the curve they heard screeching tires, and a big splash... The Reverend Boudreaux turns to Pastor Thibodaux and asks, 'Do ya tink maybe 'da sign should jussay...'Bridge Out?'
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A man, about to tee off felt a tap on his shoulder and a guy hands him a card that read "I am a deaf mute. May I play through, please?" The 1st man angrily gave the card back, and communicated that "No, he may NOT play through, and that his handicap did not give him such a right." The first man whacked the ball onto the green and left to finish the hole. Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball, laying him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute golfer sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up 4 fingers.
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A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As he climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the US and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?" The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot! Now, it's my turn!" The old farmer smiled and said, "No, I give up. You can have the duck!"
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GO to www.download.com In the "Top Ten Downloads", download and install Malwarebyte "Anti-Malware" program. Install it. Update it. Run it. Delete WHATEVER it finds. Restart. Done!!
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small helmet
The Marshal replied to tommycole's topic in Royal Star and Royal Star Tour Deluxe Tech Talk
Scorpion EXO-100 fits perfect in the rear of the hardbag. -
Tommy, My Scorpion EXO-100 half-helmet, wrapped in its protective cloth bag, *just* squeeks into the rear of my 2007 saddle bag. Which is great, as it keeps it from banging around...
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For those of you that like to use earphones for your MP3 player as you ride, I highly recommend the Skull Candy brand of earphones! For comparison, I have tried the Apple earbuds, and the Philips earbuds. The Philips are absolutely bad as they amplify the wind noise to unbearable. The Apple earbuds are little better. The noise level is too high to enjoy the music. The Skull Candy earbuds are inexpensive (Got mine at Staples for $19) and they BLOCK out the windnoise, so much so that at medium volume I no longer hear the bike at all, and have to feel my way thru the gears. This is while rolling down the road at 70+ with no helmet. Using them with my Scorpion Exo-100 Half Helmet was even better, as the wires weren't whipping me in the windstream. :-D ~Bill
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I was soooo proud of myself. Got the tire changed, everything lubed and greased, and all re-assembled. Polished it all up, and then backed it out of the garage to go for a test ride. -Nuthin. No gears at all. I jacked it all back up, threw all the parts all around the garage, and after fighting with it for an hour... called Squidly What a great guy! He listened to my story, laughed at me, and then said something like "Good luck." Actually, his best advice was to "walk away from it for awhile, and get a fresh perspective." I did! And the next morning, I had it in place in under 30 minutes. Ahhh. Experience. It is best learned the hard way. But it is not so bad with friends, heheh. ~Bill
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Hey Naked Rider, we have a saying here in Texas: Don't ask a man if he is from Texas: If he is, he will tell you soon enough. If he is not, well, no need to embarrass him. I'm just saying.... ~Bill
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new bike!!
The Marshal replied to mrich12000's topic in Royal Star and Royal Star Tour Deluxe Tech Talk
Michael, you will love the V*1300. It is a great bike. Be sure and go sign up over at http://1300tourer.com/ It is a great forum for all things V*1300! (I'm The Marshal over there, too, heheh) You will want to look into the Airbox mod, and possible some of Bucks Lowers for starters. ~Bill -
Just took the Wifey out for dinner on our 2007 RSTD. Her first 'real' trip on it since I got it in November. Note that I have put 4000 miles on it since I got it... Yeah, we're loving the RSTD. She said the ride was very comfortable (mustang seats) ~Bill
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I have a set of UNIK chaps. They are very heavy, and they come with a removable quilted liner that works awesome in freezing weather. Highly recommend them. ~Bill
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Looks like the Paper Company will have to go to the next lower grade of Recycled paper tissue, you know, the one where they put wood chips in the 2-ply? I know that is the brand my company buys, the Scott "Sand-O-Matic" brand. Its sold by grit, not ply.
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Great price, Larry! I just put on a set 2 weeks ago, and got them local. Best place in DALLAS/FT WORTH area that I have found for m/c tires: Texas Supersport Here is their facebook page with current phone/address and some deals: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dallas-TX/Texas-SuperSport/265203828174 Or just call Michael at 214-680-1724 They got me a Set of the Elite 3's, mounted and balanced for $264 Larry, be SURE and go easy on them for the first 100 miles. They are slick. You will notice an IMMEDIATE change in how it handles better. I am well pleased with the handling improvement over my stock oem tires....
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Just put a set on the frt/rear of my RSTD. Wow what a change from the stock tires. Me happy just for that. @SeaKing: What tire PSI are you running?