jburrell

ALIENS ARE COMING TO EARTH ON MONDAY AND THEIR MISSION IS TO ABDUCT ALL GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY "OLD" PEOPLE. I'M JUST E-MAILING YOU TO SAY GOODBYE :sign woo hoo:

What he said.

A WOMAN'S POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's rich and self-employed, And when I spend, won't be annoyed. Pull out my chair and hold my hand. Massage my feet and help me stand. Oh send a king to make me queen. A man who loves to cook and clean. I pray this man will love no other. And relish visits with my mother. A MAN'S POEM: I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big boobs who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh _ _.

Welfare Check..........* *A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.* *He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."* * The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.* *"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. * *This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive." The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bull****tin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."*

I would have told him to just use a Dollar! 2 qtrs 3 dimes and 4 nickels buts it's really messy. Lol

Before you pressure test it try this. Take the left side fins off and look at the plugs again. Also see physically if the plugs are loose by grabbing them and see if you can wiggle them. Now, to see if you can make that annoying leak disappear, take a penny and tape or glue it (lightly) to the inside of the fin to match it over the rubber plug. When you reinstall the fin it should hold the plug tighter and prevent a leak from a bad plug. If after another ride or 2, the leak has disappeared then you know if was the plug. This happened to me suddenly last year and the penny gave me some time to order some new plugs ($4.95 ea) Of course the penny can stay forever. IF the leak is not resolved, then you need to look at the "O" rings etc. but am betting on the L rear fin plug the same one I had problesm with on my 99. Just my

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a. m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body”. The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?” The man replies, “My wife.”

On the next set reverse those pads at about 10k miles and then you will have even wear on each and longer life. just my

Ok lets all get together and meet along 45 south near BayArea Blvd.. We can all meet there about 9am and then ride together to breakfast before hitting the strand for the festivities. There is a Mall at this exit and I say we just exit at BA blvd and meet int he parking lot of the center. I believe there is a Hooters and a few other restraunts on the outer parts of the shopping center by the freeway. If we meet there and leave there about 9:15 am, we could still get into Galveston with no problem for a good Breakfast. and get good parking I will GPS the Mexican restraunt so we can get there with no issues. Besides, Dave and Perry already know it well I beleive. How about it? Is everyone gam? We could see a liot of the stuff on the strand and still be out of Galveston before late in the Day. First Beer on the strand is on me! Have a great day everyone.

Just got my new Avon from them for the front $118 shipped free. Quick free delivery tool Now I have Avons ont he front and back. Whoo Hoo!

WHAT????? You do know that the bike can take you there correct? Just rode mine 2600+ miles in a week and these bikes just love to go down the road. Just get on it, hit the starter and off you go. Stop when you get tired and start again the next day. Biketoberfest or Arkanasa next year!

Breakfast on the island wouold be great. last year several of us went and we ate at a Mexican Restraunt that had a pretty good menu. I believe either Dave or Perry picked it out. How about it guys. What was the name. Anyone game? I'm going if only to get some good seafood down there. I will likely head back by about 5pm too. James

FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER Hollywood Squares: These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.. Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!) Q.Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years... A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.. Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.. Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A.. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet. Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING Enjoy and pass on to your friends.

When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy...very funny! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!' So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.' I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?' I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?' Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least the ***** knows I'm smarter than her.

THE PERFECT HUSBAND Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes." WOMAN: "I was shopping and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and looked at all the new models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$90,000." MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!" MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 --- A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!' ... I just lost it.' 'CASE DISMISSED!!'

Me too going to my second 130 tire this weekend. Will never go back Just got back from a 2644 mile trip and hit lots of winds ont he BRRParkway and on the Interstate and never had a problem. Slow speed handling is greatly enhansed. James

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi,was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me. Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.." George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.. "Hello,I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed.. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up. Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" ( True Story) I LOVE IT! Don't mess with old people.

Well first let me say that I am sorry that I did not meet any of the Venture riders out there on this trip, but I seemed to always be running behind and the computer refused to work after the 2nd day. With that said, I made it back from the ride last night after being on the road for 7 days and 6 hours covering 2650 miles of this great country. Day 1. I left Houston to ride to Biloxi and I played some poker there and thankfully the players there feld like contributing very genoursly to my trip fund. As a matter of fact I had the best Poker day of my life and made enough for about 3 trips. Getting to Biloxi was an adventure in itself. Outside Lafayett La I ended up on a bridge over the swamp sitting in the road for one and a half hours due to a wreck ahead. Those things happen but less than an hour later I was stopped again and the traffic was bocked for about 15 miles due to an accident and scheduled road closure. Thankfully I had a Garmin with me and it gave me a Detour after I waited 30 minutes on the road and I used it for the detour which may have been longer but at least I wasnt sitting on the road again for several hours. Day 2 was all Poker all day except for a ride down the beach. I got knocked out of the tournament I wanted to play early but the cash tables were very very genourous to me. Day 3 I headed from Biloxi Miss to Robbinsville NC via Chatanooga and the Cherokola Parkway. I hit road work again and spend 30 minutes outside of Chatanooga sitting on the roadway. Finally getting past that, I rolled into Tellico Plains NC late in the day and after eating headed across the Cherokola Parkway. This is a very beatuiful ride. Take it if you get a chance. I dont have any pictures of it and there are 2 reasons for that with the first being that I was exhaused by the time I got here and the second was that rain and fog moved in at about the midpoint across. It is only about 60 miles from Tellico Plains to Robbinsville NC my destionation but by the time I started across this road I had ridden for 11 hours and had about 2 hours to go to get to my room. I Completed this ride in 13 hours stopping only for gas and food and I was going 85 across most of the state of Alabama. By the way it was 85 Degrees when I left and today it was 35 in the AM with 56 for a high. It stayed this way for the next 6 days. Day 4. Well I stayed at a place called "Steel Horse Stables" This is a new place in Robbinsville and is really just some converted Garage apts at a nice a ladys house. Price is good and the rooms nice and clean but it s not like the others that are established for MC riders and campers. Today I ride "The Dragon" . I rode out about 8:30 am and had some breakfast in DT Robbinsville. This is not a big town and there is not much here except the Dragon but if you want to eat then Eat at Lynns Restraunt on Main St. Service was excellent and the Steak was great. After breakfast I headed out for the Dragon..its easy to find from here. I rode the Dragon north to the Tennesse side and turned around and rode back. On the way back I had stopped and saw a flock of turkeys not ten feet away. Had a great time on the Dragon and on the southern end is "Deals Gap Motorcyle Resort". I met lots of riders there and in fact met a guy that does pinstriping and attaches patches to coats and vest. This was Dennis and he rode a Venture. Dennis noticed my bike as I got gas next to his tent awning he has setup and noticed that my back tire was worn. Yep, here I was almost 1100 miles from home and suddenly there was no tread left on the center of my rear tire. However, Dennis had a spare he needed to sell and he not only gave me a decent price he installed it to for $30, How could I say no. After spending about 3 hours getting the tire to Deals Gap and getting it installed I rode the " Dragon" again and the headed back to Robbinsville via "Moonshiner 28" and in my opinion this is just as good a ride as the "Dragon" and its speed limit is better. Day 4 I spent going to Cherokee NC this is where the Blue Ridge Parkway starts and guess what. I found a Casino there. I spent some time there and didn't do well. I headed to my room and guess what. This town in the mountains with only 2 roads in and out decided to have a parade during the 5pm traffic. I went 1.7 miles to my Hotel in only 45 minutes. Ain't I lucky. The ride to Cherokee from Robbinsville was very nice. Day 5 I started outside to ride the Blue Ridge Parkway at 8:30 and it was 35 outside and my bike gave me a heck of time getting it started and I was just about to give up and it decided it would run. My guess is, the the PO turned off the Carb heaters. I left hotel and headed out the Blue Ridge Parkway and its a very nice road with great views which would probably be better above 60 degrees. Anyway, I had a great ride on the BRP and I rode about 160 miles of it and finally decided I was tired of the cold and decided to get off the BRP and head west for Nashville Tennesse. My first mistake was believing I could take any road west and get back to a major road and decent speed limit in a resonable time. My second mistake was exiting at a little town named Little Switzerland NC. Supposedly a great place to eat, but not a place you ever want to take the seconday road out of. Without a doubt in my mind, hwy 26a west from Little Switzerland is the road that no motorcycle should ever be allowed to travel. This road is most likely the most dangerous motorcyle road ever concieved. If I had to rate the Dragon and this 26a the the Dragon would get a 5 of 10 and 26a would get a 20. DONT GO THERE!!! You've been warned. This road has deadly curves that surpass 180 degrees with inclines and the road is not banked properly. The road at points had severe dropoffs and none of the curves are marked. You find out about the curve as you go around it. About 2 hours into this harrowing ride at 20 miles an hour and less I come across....you guessed it "road work" The good old flagman waves his flag and I sit on a road again for about 15 minutes 3 different times before I get to another major road way. Once I get to a real highway I head for Nashville Tennessee. I dont get there today as I fall short about 85 miles after another 13 hour days ride. I had planned on spending a day in Nashville but now I just want to get out of this %^& cold weather. I'll hit the road fresh tomorrow. Day 6 Today I am heading more westerly knowing that I am heading home with my next stop planned for Shreveport La. I head out interstate 40 heading west trusting my Garmin to get me home. Well, its a long way from Nashville Tennesse to Shreveport La and according to my Garmin you have to cross all of Tennesse and all of Arkansas before you head south to Shreveport La. I left my hotel at 5:50 am in 38degree weather and by the time I got to Arkansas it was 85. As I rode along the Interstate at 85 mph I realised how hot it was getting and had to stop several times to take off the weather layers I was wearing. At Littlerock Ark you finally head south towards Shreveport and turn south on road that must be fairly new. I was gong to Gas up at the exit south from 40 as I was sitting on about 140 miles on this tank of gas. Guess what? There is no gas or anything on that exit or anywhere on the new road south or any road that crosses it. Nearing the end of this new road I was really getting concerned about gas but when I saw the sign that this road ends in 2 miles I though Great now I will get some gas. NOPE! Nothing here either. I headed south on 251 thinking, well there will be a town around the next corner of hill. Finally at 190 miles from my last fillup, I spotted a country store that had gas. It was now about 3:30 and Garmin was telling me I would get to my hotel about 6:30 but as it turns out I was less that 30 miles from Shreveport. I stayed at the Horseshoe hotel mainly because I wanted the Luxury it provided. If you ever stay here you will love the beds here. I treated my self to a very long hot bath in an oversided tub and rested for about 2 hours befor hitting the buffet of seafood that was great. Obviously, if I am at a hotel/casino I am going to play some poker and here for the first time in 3 visits I give them back some of their money. Oh well, still got a good amout left over from Biloxi. Day 7 I get up late and check the bike out and decide to hit the poker table for a short while befor heading home and I should have headed home in the AM and I get very unlucky a few times. See la vee. I take off about 2pm heading south on Hwy 59 and finally get home at 7pm on the 7th day of my ride. Would I do it again. Not without 2 or 3 weeks to enjoy the trip. Travel time was always longer and harder than anticipated . The weather didnt cooperate but I must admit the Venture has to be one of the best handling best riding bikes out there. My bike held up beautifully with no issues and flew down those interstates at 85 for hour after hour with not a single problem. Would I go somewhere else like Colorado or perhaps Palo Duro Canyon in West Texas? Maybe next year. I have a number of Videos that I took from my ride but the stabilization makes them less that stellar and the size makes them hard to post but here are some of the pics I took along the way including how my bike was set up to hold the clothes for this trip. Yes the box drug the ground on some of the really sharp curves but suffered little for it. If you get a change to go to the "Tail of the Dragon", Blue Ridge Parkway or the Cherokola Parkway by all means go and enjoy them as this is a beautiful country that should be enjoyed. Without this site and the support from its members I would never have tried this type of trip so to all of you a Big Thanks Sorry this was some long. Now to get some much needed rest!

Been there done that I know what this is!!! I had exactly the same issue and the same location. Behind that fin is a small black plug with a screw hole in it. This is what you would call a "drain plug" Mine got tired and old apparently and dried up somewhat and therefore was too loose in its hole and leaked. If you take the fin off and tape a penny on the back side of the fin exactly to match the plug you can test and see if the leaks stop to verify or spend $4.95 to get a new drain plug to insert into the cylinder hole. Its important to note that the bolts that hold the fin on are important to maintain a firm grip on the plug so it can't dislodge itseld from pressure and it someone leaves out tha bottom bolt on the fin cover you may experience a full or partial water loss. My suggestion change all of them. You can remove them with a spark plug and just stick the new ones in the hole and put the cover fin back over it making sure you have all the bolts necessary.Special note: Do not run your engine with these fins off as the plugs will eject themselves from the pressure. I replace all 4 of mine and the issues on my 99 disappeared. just my 2:2cents:

I'm in. I think I will just need some crash protection too. I'll check into it. Be a good time to get together for eats and then go. thanks Owen

Those are badges of appreciation. Hold a Maintenance day or assist someone who needs help and when they tell Freebird about it you may get a badge. Some members have more than one but many dont have as many badges as they really deserve as they are always helping many. my 2:2cents:

Most o fthe locals don't know this but I got rid or a nice ride to move to motorcycles 2 yrs ago. I finally found my pics and have them sized so that I can show them. I must admit that this site is what made me get a RSV and the members who have helped me during the past 2 years have made a big difference in how I handle and maintain the bike. I couldn't have done all the upgrades and maintenance without the help of members on this site and those that help me locally to when I have issues like, PONCH, GUNBOAT, SQUIDLEY,OWEN, KGRERDOODLE, DAVE and may others from the Venturerider site. To all of you again I say "THANKS A MILLION" because without you I would not have the bike and I would not be going to the "Tail of the Dragon" from Texas next week. I need to submit newer pics of the bike but I am stuck at work doing maintenance and decided to go ahead and post tonight. Now here is the pics of my old and new ride. Now to finally get out of here after 17 hrs.

me 3

Geaux Texans!!!! Issue is where do you finally draw the line for passing out you earnings in relations to relatives. Obamas Aunt still lives in government housting and subsides on $700 disability from SS and she's not even a legal resident and he's got millions. Nuff said about politics! Just referencing that others dont think the same way. I support both my kids. Hell one lives in a house I own the the other one that I paid the DP on. but thats my kids my cousins etc can fend for themselves.