Dragonslayer

Actually the truth of the matter is my bike is acting sick. I'll think I'll drop off at the house in Atlanta get on the tech talk threads and chase some electrical gremlins. I'll catch up with ya'll down the road when she is fealing better.

another under powered second gen. This story is moving so slow we'll never get to Daytona before Biketoberfest is over. It's already half over now.

without hesitation that all of his compadres are about to OD on glucose and river dance:dancefool::dancefool: poisoning and something would have to be done right away. But what?........................................ he quickly reaches into his saddle bag soft cooler and pulls out the green plastic replica lime juice squirter thingy that he had been carrying just in case of this kind of emergency...................... (or if someone showed up with a bottle of tequila and a salt shaker), and began squirting lime juice into everyone's mouth to nuetralize the high sugar content in thier blood system. As the lime juice would take effect each person shivered violently and scrunched up their faces as if they had just been given a dose of Castor Oil. (Come to think of it, Castor Oil would have worked equally well). Once the bitter taste had been shaken off, and the antedote had taken effect.... everyone's feet began to get slower and slower and it was not long before everyone was walking and talking normally, again. Well, .................. at least as normally as they had walked and talked before the massive sugar intake.

After being released from the Hang gliding park and paying the damaged equipment charge, the Dragonslayer limped back over to where his 1st gen had been parked to find out that everyone else he had been riding with were nowhere to be found. What had happened to them? Did they leave without him, and why? Were they upset with him? had he been talking too much and monopolizing the conversation? Was he posting too much? Did he have BO or something? Did he embarrass them in anyway? Why did they leave him behind? Dragonslayer certainly was not trying to offend anyone. Last thing he remembered before the hang gliding incident was that everyone seemed to be having a good time , he had been. Then all of a sudden he finds himself alone, lonely, abandoned and confused? He pulls his laptop out of the trunk and goes to the VR site to see if anyone has posted anything that might be a clue to what had happened. There had not been any post from any of his traveling companions for a couple of days. What happened to Ruffy, Massey 130, Yama mama, Aussie Annie, Quickstep, and all of the others he had been riding and writing with? Was it anything that he had said. Did they ride on to Daytona without him? He felt so all alone.

Ahh Shuucks, Ya'll just being kind............. But what the heck is a dick-john-harry???????....I'd ain't never heard of any such thang......must be some of that there downunder dingo lingo......can you say that out loud in public without getting our story bleepped by one of them modulators? If you meant dictionary like a Funk & Wagner I ain't never swallowed one but, when I was a young'un growing up or while I was being drug up..... we used to have a big o'le one that I used to have to sit on to reach the dinner table. Does that count? Nite Mary Ellen

feet in chocolate.......................When you need to know why this is important it will be revealed to you. Upon Dragonslayer's arrival at Rock City he instantly and instinctively knew that he was directed to this place to find what he needed to know at the Cloud Land Canyon Hang Gliding park and not at Ruby Falls. So as he put down his kickstand and dismounted his 1st Gen he instinctively walked toward the park not being aware that Yama Mama was following him without comment. This part of the story is based on an actually event that happened to me when I was much younger and does contains a message I learned as a result of the experience. The miracle of flight has always been a source of wonder to the Dragonslayer ever since he was allowed as a boy to fly as co-pilot in his father's company plane from Peachtree Dekalb Airport in Atlanta to Laquadia Airport in New York City to attend the World's Fair. At this time Hang Gliding was relatively a new sport and was apparently the closest that man could come to the sensation of flight from a bird's eye view perspective. So, finding himself in this place witnessing hang Gliding up close and in person filled him with awe. He closely watched the pilots as they assembled their kites at the top of the gentle slope leading to the precipice of the shear walled cliff facing the Cloud Land Canyon floor far down below. He took in every detail as they strapped into the harnesses which would dangle them below the kites in flight. He memorized the motions as the pilots tested the kites apparatus before running down the slope at full speed then launching themselves over the edge and off into ungrounded space. Each time at take off, the kite and pilot would drop out of view below the edge of the cliff............. and for a few moments a horror followed that the pilot had certainly dropped like a rock to his death below. Until the kite would catch air and find it's way into a lifting thermal of warm air that would bring the kite back into view as the pilot circled the kite in the thermal, gaining altitude. They would circle and soar higher and higher as the pilot would direct the kite from one thermal to another putting a safe distance of air between the kite and the ground below. Eventually after minutes that seemed like hours the pilot would loose the thermals and slowly circle while loosing altitude until they would inevitable come back into contact with the ground on the valley floor far down below. Waiting for them would be the pilot's friends who had driven down to the valley to meet their returning heroic pilot friend to assist him in collapsing the kite for the ride back up to the top of the cliff for another flight if time would allow. Having witnessed this amazing feat of flight multiple times, the Dragonslayer was unaware that a small crowd of spectators had gathered around him where he had been standing. The crowd included Yama Mama and a bunch of strangers mostly made of a high percentage of very attractive women. Realizing the apparent admiration for these pilots shown by the women he unthinkingly and suddenly felt compelled to comment. What he meant to say was.... "That looks relatively easy and with a little training and encouragement I would like to try doing that.....Someday." However, due a sudden gust of bravado being in the company of so many attractive women and because he did not take the time to properly articulate his words, what blurted out of his mouth in a very loud voice so that everyone could hear was..... Ah HELL, I can do that.... This is where having chocolate covered feet becomes important.... if you are going to say something that will result in having to place your foot into you mouth, chocolate helps to disguise the taste. Suddenly there was complete silence as thirty to forty people standing within ear shot, including the parks flight instructor, went completely silent staring straight at the DragonSlayer. Before he could get his chocolate covered foot out of his mouth he found himself at the top of the slope strapped into a kite signing waivers and disclaimers and receiving a very brief and cursory lesson in the dynamics of flying like a bird with a kite strapped to you without killing yourself. In retrospect, he knew that he had the right to at anytime just say no and refuse to do it, but, his ego would not allow him the ability to do so. So, there he was at the top of the slope presumable ready to go, It was time for him to put up or shut up and take a literal leap of faith off the precipice of the cliff at which time he would either survive with honor intact or die a sudden death as a complete fool. And as it has happened throughout time immortal, to each one finding themselves in similar circumstance being faced with the ultimate test of courage and accepting the challenged this phrase flashed foremost in his mind............ NO GUTS, NO GLORY after all isn't that the same decision we have to make as bikers each time we throw a leg over our bike saddles. So down the slope he began running as fast as he could with the kite bellowing above his head until suddenly there was no ground in contact with his feet...........expecting a sudden crash......... he soon heard a fluttering sound the fabric of the kite was making above his head. As he opened his tightly clinched eyes he realized that the flutter noise of the fabric was a result of his violently shaking body being transmitted through the framework of the kite to the fabric. But, he was flying and not dropping like a rock to the ground below. Being fully committed he calmed himself to allow his body to quit shaking just as the kite found it's way into a thermal which filled the fabric with warm air changing the flutter to a gentle hissing noise as the warm air dramatically lifted the kite and passenger skyward with a sudden lunge. His fear rapidly dissipated as he timidly tested the maneuvering weight shifting technique he had been briefly taught while still on the ground. Within moments his confidence was building as he realized how easy it was to direct the kite. As he circled within the thermal soaring higher he could actually see the waves of warm air thermals rising from the ground making it easy to soar from one thermal to another soaring higher and higher. When the thermals began to diminish he calmly started making wide circles then smaller and smaller ones being careful to control his spiraling decent toward the ground by adjusting the angle of attack of the leading edge of the kite therefore adjusting his air speed. Descending closer and closer to the ground he was totally focused on the performance of the kite and paid no attention to the forming crowd of cheering extremely attractive female spectator's on the ground below. Just at the right moment and just feet above the ground he gently pushes the control bar forward raising the leading edge of the kite which effectively killed his air speed allowing him to walk out of the flight just like a bird would. A perfect landing. And the crowd was cheering as loud as they could. With the glory of his heroic flight swelling in his heart, mind and soul, he tried to act humble as if there was nothing to it. Pride Goethe before the fall Being totally confident and pumped because of his successful flight it was quickly decided that there was enough time for one more flight before sunset. So the cheering crowd of admiring attractive women helped Dragonslayer fold up the kite for the return trip back up to the top of Lookout mountain. To witness another heroic flight by the Dragonslayer. Upon reaching the park the crowd was informed by the flight instructor that the Dragonslayer's flight had lasted 28 and 1/2 minutes which had been one of the longest flights of the day. A remarkable flight for a first time novice when there was so many experience pilots that had been flying that day. Quickly getting the kite ready and him harnessed up the Dragonslayer, without hesitation this time, ran down the slope and off the edge of the cliff for his second flight. He was much more confident this time, although his second flight did not last near as long because of the diminishing thermals. But all went well until time to land. Being overly confident he had not been as focused on the performance of the kite when approaching the landing. As a result he pushed forward on the control bar too soon and too hard causing the kite to go vertical and stalling about thirty feet above the ground. They kite then turned upside down causing the kite and pilot to drop like a rock slamming into the ground with the Dragonslayer landing hard on the kite frame bending the frame, bruising several of the Dragonslayers ribs and knocking him out cold. A few minutes later, he did come around with a large bump on his head and very painfully bruised ribs. For insurance purposes the park kept on staff medical personnel for precisely this reason. After observing him for a couple of hours it was determined that he did not have a concussion so it was safe for him to leave after paying $1,200 for the damaged kite. Evidently there was some fine print in one of the waivers about reimbursement for damaged equipment. The second flight experience thereby ending the Dragonslayer's hang gliding career forever. the morale of the story being: Sometimes when your dumb your body and wallet might suffer.

Dear Yama Mama, I am truly humbled by your kind words of praise and it was with great joy that I received the news that I have brought some laughter into your life. For that is a Dragonslayer's purpose, to slay the demons of the dark so that the light that laughter floats on can shine through. As far as the imagination one possesses seems to be in direct proportion to how much time on one's hands to allow the mind to wander. But, the imagination of a creative mind requires a spark of inspiration provided by others. Others such as yourself and the other fellow travelers on this journey, and contributors to this saga. Therefore, DO NOT minimize your contributions to end result of this tale that we are spinning. For it takes a spark to ignite the creative juices that flow from a creative heart. Juices that seem to be highly flammable due to the high octane Scotch intake of the romantic seeking a creative way in which to express himself to hopefully an appreciative audience. Hence, a musician needs to be heard, an artist's work needs to be viewed, a poet needs to be understood, a Lover needs to be loved, a writer needs to be read, and a comedian needs to hear the laughter resulting from his efforts. And we need to get the heck out of here so that we can make it to Daytona in time for Biketoberfest. So I will stop waxing poetically about creativity and redirect my wandering mind back to the story.

Any catastrophes of global and/or biblical proportions. Having arrived at Rock City and Ruby falls on top of Lookout Mountain overlooking Cloud Land Canyon just adjacent to Cloud Land Canyon Hang Gliding Park......................... Massey scurried off looking for a facility in which he could drain his kidney's and bladder..........draging the dessert bar which was still handcuffed to his wrist. Quickstep and Annie bought tickets so that the could tour the attraction. Dragonslayer, however, having been born and raised in this geographic region had visited Rock City and Ruby Falls on many occasions opted instead to meander over toward the Hang Gliding Park. With Yama Mama following close behind.

It is truly my honor, privilege and pleasure to be of service to you! Furthermore, it would be my continuing honor, privilege and pleasure to service you in the future whenever you so desire and in whatever way you wish. Your wish is my command. I can make myself available to you on a regularly scheduled basis, spontaneously or by appointment at your convenience. 24-7, 365 days a year, nights, holidays or weekends, Your place or mine. For a nominal fee of course.... which I may choose to waive in certain circumstances.

Mind of many colors: Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your point of view............The Dragonslayer, being chronologically challenged and a product of the sixties does from time to time experience some certain reoccurring colorful mental episodes....commonly referred to as flashbacks or flights of fancy if you will. However, since subsequently obtaining that plain of existence know as enlightenment or, possessor of Universal Knowledge he no longer partakes of nor condones the use of any mind altering or expanding substances....... except in the case of extreme emergencies. And then only under the direct supervision of his physician, therapist or other medical service provider. Furthermore, since it does happen to be raining, and since there is nothing else that can be done at this time, the Dragonslayer is currently corresponding with you within the confines of his private abode, where there are no minor children present and the local ordinances relating to the consumption or usage of tobacco products does not apply, he is from time to time imbibing in the use of certain tobacco products all of which are legal if not sociably acceptable. The smell of which is actually an subjective assessment defined by others actually in the immediate vicinity.

As always, on any VR M&E, all are welcome regardless of what they ride or ride in, political or religious affiliation or temporary or permanent disability, afflictions, handicaps or ailments (being physical or mental in nature), age, race or national origin. In addition, as indicated by the title of this thread, this story is for everyone and any and all are invited to interject, participate and contribute in any way they so desire or see fit.

No you were not bad at all. In fact it is the Dragonslayer's assessment you were very, very good ............... Based on the frisking episode. :whistling:In fact you were You did not get dessert because you did not ask for any and in fact stated that you were very satisfied and was not hungry, only wishing for a cup of Joe and a cigarette. However, fear not. Because since Massey handcuffed himself to the dessert bar with the stolen handcuffs before inquiring about the key..... which is not in our possession, he will be forced to continue this trip towing the dessert bar, handcuffed to his wrist. Hence, once again Your wish has been granted and you can have dessert whenever your little pea picking heart so desires.

The Hazy cloud of true fictional bliss ("true fictional" being an oxymoron) ................ of course.......... It is widely known in most all of the literary circles that when writing in a "truely fictional" genra , (please excuse the repetitive use of this particular oxymoron) it is totally permissable and often times expected for the creative author to inject varrying degrees of creative and artistic licensed embellishment for the sake of the reader's amusement, amazement as well as the general entertainment value of such creative work. Therefore, the author can not be expected to soley relie on the facts when creating prose in the form of the written word in this genra. The use of creative formating of paragraph structure, punctuation, grammar, venacular word usage, font and text sizing and color selection or the use of Smilies where applicable, is also allowed and encouraged. MOPED We totally get the fact that Moped is your 1st Husband. But, since you introduced him to us with that handle we just naturally assumed that he obtained his name because of the particular model bike (if you can call a Moped a Bike), he rode. Just as we assume that given your druthers since you go by the handle YAMA MAMA we naturelly assume that you would ride a Yamaha and you are a mother. But, since you mentioned it, the more pertinent question would be are your riding Moped , your first husband or Moped the loosely defined motorcycle, or vica versa. Respecting your privacy and with all due respect, decorum did not allow nor have we, until now and only because you brought it up, questioned the circumstances of why you happen to be taking this trip with your first husband and not riding your own 99RSV and/or not your current husband. So, Yama Mama would you like to share? Inquiring minds want to know.

Ok let me see if I can clear things up a bit so that we can get back on the road. We are running out of time if we want to get to Daytona in time for Biketoberfest by way of Rock City and Ruby Falls.And there will be other stops to be made as well. ROCK CITY & RUBY FALLS Yes we are going to make a short stop to see Rock City & Ruby Falls for the following reasons. We were told to by the ghost of one Glenn Miller's band members to follow the sign that said SEE ROCK CITY & RUBY FALLS. Dragonslayer's know (almost instinctively but more because they are bestowed with Ancient and Conventional wisdom) that in the Cosmic Universe hand book, titled ........... " Secrets of the Universe" Chapter 1: Rules of Engagement ................ Rule #1 states very emphatically and concisely: "Whenever given instructions by any member of the universe naturally operating on a higher plain of existence, awareness of enlightenment, or dimensional diversity it is mandatory for those earth bound entities, thereby having received such instructions and presumably seeking such higher plain of awareness,enlightenment or dimensional diversity to heed such instructions in every respect, as specified, forthwith. Therefore, being led to a particular place and time where further directional instructions, Omnipotent nuggets and tidbits of ancient Universal knowledge and wisdom, Handy Tools, weapons, ammunition or implements of destruction (only to be used for defensive purposes or constructive destruction) can be supplied, thus furthering the efforts and ensuring the capabilities of those aforementioned earthen bound entities to reach their next intended sequential goal or target destination, which will be determined and revealed in due time, at a later date, on a need to know basis. Those earth bound entities failing to heed such rightfully given instructions given by any duly authorized member of the universe operating on a plain of higher degree will be penalized in one or more of the following manners, to include but not limited to, mild inconvenience, uncomfortable circumstance (aka PITA), Untimely delay, Dramatic harassment (aka Drama), untimely demise, ecological, economical, astronomical, Geological catastrophic disaster of global and/or biblical proportions resulting in total annihilation of all earthen bound species (aka event horizon, The Second coming , End of Days, Mayan Calendar, Nostradamus's Prophesies) Forthwith.":scared: 2. the foregoing simply put means if we don't bad things could happen.................(Yama Mama you should be up to speed on all of this since your aftershock clarity vision) 3. It's a nice geographically convenient tourist attraction in the area that we can share with our Aussie friends Annie and Quikstep. They might want to experience since it is so close. Going there will also give Massey the opportunity to drain his kidneys, stretch his legs and walk off some of that chocolate syrup he injected.

The VR riders went to the Golden Corral The Hardly Dangerson riders stayed Home Massey and Quickstep had Chocolate Yama Mama had none And the Gay New Mexico State Trooper piggy went wee, wee, wee, allllllll the way home

Red rubber nose, two foot long big floppy shoes and a Raggity Ann Clown costume.......... Honking a Bicycle horn

But, the truth be known, one of the Dragonslayer's super powers is that he can move faster than the speed of light making it possible for him to un-dress then dress Yama Mama in super fast forward... so fast that he can do it in public with mortals not being able to see it........ The problem is that when he is moving that fast it's hard to remember exactly in what order to put the clothes back on.

Ok, OK, OK.....So suddenly as if by magic we find our selfs in the Golden Corral at the dessert bar. Massey has secretly removed the handcuffs from Yama Mama's pocket using them to handcuff himself to the dessert bar so that he can not be forcible removed by the manager for trying to inject himself intravenously with chocolate syrup meant for the soft serve vanilla ice cream.

OK...Massey..... stay focused here and try to keep up.............. Golden Corral is at the next exit.... we have not gotten there yet.... sooooooooooooooooooooo Yama Mama is well within her God given right to slowly kill herself by smoke inhalation while riding Bi*ch on a moped.. But why anyone would want to ride Bi*ch on a Moped is beyond me, and breaches good judgment and conventional wisdom. There ought to be a law against it. Speaking of laws...... :soapbox:If all of you non smokers are so concerned about second hand smoke you should be the ones to have to go outside for fresh air when somebody lights up.......................... outside in the rain and in 0 degree weather. ......Because thats where the fresh air is and do you know how hard it is to light up a cig when your standing outside in the rain.

The sensation was a delayed aftershock flashback tremor of the frisking incident that sudden focused her mind with a crystal clear vision. A vision that revealed the secrets of the universe as well as the answer to the question at hand. The vision made her realize Golden Coral was the answer, Everybody could get what they wanted to eat at a Golden Coral. Even though she felt satisfied she suddenly had the erge to smoke a cigarette. As she finished her cigarette see saw a sign that read ............................................................ Avoid Disappointment & Future Regret SEE ROCK CITY & RUBY FALLS Golden Coral next exit

....................and maybe longer.

But alais, Annie had grossly underestimated the Dragonslayer's frisking skills and did not realize that the frisking episode was such a orgasmic climatic experience that it snapped Yama Mama out of her amnesia.....forever. Making that interaction with the Dragonslayer an event she would remember for the rest of her life.

The Sign.............. "What sign?" we asked. "The sign" he said "You know the sign I mean, The one that says SEE ROCK CITY & RUBY FALLS................................................."Then what" we asked ...... " Follow the sign ...............you dummies what do you think signs are for." he answered. As he was fading away we could hear his voice trailing off into the distance telling us to avoid disappointment and future regret by going to see Rock City and Ruby Falls.

Noticeing Yama Mama's apparent disappointment the Dragonslayer steps up to the plate to offer his Dragonslayer skills. First he tried to console her by pointing out that it was probably just an oversight that the Officer did not frisk her due to him being distracted by Ruffy's pink chaps and pink paiseley bandana. But she should not worry because the Dragonslayer's motto is "Your wish is my command Dear Lady" "Spred um" he said as he then started frisking Yama Mama vigorousley up and down, over and over again and being very careful to not mis a single square inch of un-frisked real estate on her body.

Finally some creative recognition. Sorry, Annie we weren't trying to make you barf up a lung or anything we were just trying to brighten your day.