The Legend of the Pond Monster

[Guest Swifty]

According to Wikipedia, a legend is a narrative of human actions that are perceived both by teller and listeners to take place during a motorcycle rally and to possess certain qualities that give the tale some sense of authenticity. These narratives are centered around pictures that are taken by attendees and explained in online posts to those who were not eye witnesses to the event but like to live their lives vicariously through those that did attend. Well, a legend has begun around a "life form" seen in a pond by only a few people who have attended at Maintenance Day celebrations in Oberlin, Ohio.

 

How it started...many, many, many, many moons ago, one Canadian (our now dearly departed, Charlie) had a camera during one sighting (maybe the first), and posted what he tagged as the pond monster, or was it the Nelson Ness Monster...I forget...but given that he had a reputation for photoshopping his pictures, and was considered by many native Canadians not to be of a sound mind, his posts lacked some credibility, and consequently many ventureriders didn't believe what they saw in his posts...and that's how legends get started. Since some rumours have circulated that I have a special connection to the monster, (likely because I am one of only a hand full of people who have dared the depths of the pond), and since I am one who lives his whole life in the pursuit of educating the masses, I have taken it upon myself to investigate these ULFs (unidentified life forms) and set the record straight once and for all. I am currently in the process of writing the TRUE story, I am gathering evidence, I am waiting for pictures to arrive, I am purchasing software to detect photoshopping, I am checking with my sources (only credible eye witnesses) and I will submit the final product when it is done. If you don't post anything under this post my story WILL be posted directly under this one and it will be bumped for all to readwhen I have determined the truth ; however, if you can't wait for my story and you start your own dribblings below about what you heard (or saw) as is already happening in other threads, then my story will be buried in subsequent pages (which may be best anyways) and the true story of the pond monster may end up being lost forever...

[dray]

According to Wikipedia, a legend is a narrative of human actions that are perceived both by teller and listeners to take place during a motorcycle rally and to possess certain qualities that give the tale some sense of authenticity. These narratives are centered around pictures that are taken by attendees and explained in online posts to those who were not eye witnesses to the event but like to live their lives vicariously through those that did attend. Well, a legend has begun around a "life form" seen in a pond by only a few people who have attended at Maintenance Day celebrations in Oberlin, Ohio.

 

How it started...many, many, many, many moons ago

 

 

if im reading this right

 

looks like it took place on the 3rd. full moon

[Redneck]

From what I have gathered the pond monster originated in Ukraine. I believe I may have seen the same creature in Colorado last year. Of course this is all hear say and is likely a large load of BS.

[mraf]

If it is a pond monster I'd hate to get near them. Did you see the size of the mouths on them things!!!!!!!!:rotfl:

[Guest Swifty]

If it is a pond monster I'd hate to get near them. Did you see the size of the mouths on them things!!!!!!!!:rotfl:

THAT is a whole new take on the physiology of the beast. Most theories to date express that it has a huge vertically aligned eye ball which closes when it surfaces above the water. Your theory about it being a mouth will have to be researched some more. All ventureriders thank you for your wise analytical contribution to uncovering the nature of the beast. By the way, some higher ups say that Maintenance Day is going to be planned early in the year to avoid the dangers that the beast may pose to the visiting public. And I heard some ventureriders express their regret to me for not bring their water gear. It would be tragic for us who are truly interested in researching this life form if it does indeed only surface in the warmer temperatures associated with an Ohio summer.

[dragerman]

I think I see something sticking out of the one on the right… it looks like feet! Is it possible that one of them is giving birth? Or was it hungry and swallowed something head first??

 

I hope they’re not multiplying!!

[Skid]

I sure hope the pond monsters aren't in Elk River later this month.

I can't wait to see the movie.....

[dragerman]

Could be a mating pair of Albino Split Cranium Cyclops

[mother]

Don must be feeding the pond monsters too much lawn equipment as they seem to have multiplied since last year.

[VTirelli]

this is creating visuals that I just do NOT wanna have............please, please for pity's sake..stop.

[SaltyDawg]

Is one of them smoking a Cigar?:rotf:

[Dragonslayer]

There never seems to be a harpoon laying around when you need one!

[GigaWhiskey]

this is creating visuals that I just do NOT wanna have............please, please for pity's sake..stop.

 

Oh how true, LMAO.

[hipshot]

i bet a"certain young lady, from Chicago", would recognize ONE of those faces anywhere!

 

 

gives a whole new meaning to the word "hiney-kin".

just jt

[dray]

There never seems to be a harpoon laying around when you need one!

 

you would have to throw away a good harpoon if you hit the monster in the blow hole; shouldn't the pond monster be safe anyways as i hear it has a gas operated jet propulsion unit and no teeth

[BEER30]

I'm surprised it didn't get any worse , but then again !

BEER30

[DragonRider]

Vogel State Park............05 or 06, it scared me so bad cant remember the date...............:rotf::rotf:

[Dragonslayer]

Just when you think it's safe to re-enter the water........................

 

 

 

 

The Pond Monsters re-surface

Edited November 24, 2008 by Dragonslayer

[Guest cyote61]

:shock3:Gee thanks a lot. Now where did I leave my meds and its back to therapy again I guess.

[BIG TOM]

I SAY WE DRAIN DONS POND AND GET RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL....00 BUCK SHOT AUGHT TO DO!!!!!

[mini-muffin]

The scary part is it started off with just one lone pond monster. Now there are two of them. Wonder if they'll be more this year? Ya know if it got a mate there could be kids.:rotf:

 

Margaret

[ibents]

I thought Loch Ness was the only place with a prehistoric monster, I guess they breed them in Ohio to.

 

Maybe we could get a tattoo artist to come and decorate those hump's !!!

 

Ian

[Ozark]

I think I'll have to come to Don's maintanence day this year to check this out with the rest of you. Maybe if we just heated the water a little by dropping an electric heater into the pond will make them surface. I can't tell if these are prehistoric creatures, but I'm pretty sure they are an "endangered" species. Could that second picture possibly be a pair of them getting ready to mate?? Now that's a visual I can't get rid of either!!

[stardbog]

Just when you think it's safe to re-enter the water........................

 

 

 

 

The Pond Monsters re-surface

 

Huh Dont Worry to enter a pond, only think you feel is pain in the ...lower back , but only first time hurt.

 

After that you get fishing licence for Montana... Like Kowboys.... Brokeback Mountain resort.

Edited November 27, 2008 by stardbog

[mikentinamidnight]

i have been swimming with the pond monsters and they do indeed exist.

the key to being safe in the water with them is to swim with all your clothes on and they will leave you alone.

they can leave the pond upon occasion and will be completely safe as long as no one feeds them anything fermented.

they wont multiply like gremlins but they will get louder and try to do experiments with the more curvy members of the human race.

so if we just keep them sober then they too may just become an accepted part of this fine family just like squidly.

dont worry everyone they are basically harmless.