Every bike, every helmet reminds me of him...Tom E.

[Ladyrider]

It is one year today. Although this belongs mainly in the memorial thread, I am posting here due to information on the accident, lawsuit and other information that maybe helpful to other riders some day.

Please record your life with photos, notes, cards and emails. Are you on the computer at night or in the morning when your spouse and kids are in bed, at work or school? Send them an email. Let them know you love them, adore them, etc. Leaving for work? Packing a lunch? Stick in a note saying you love that person. Proud of your new bike? Get a FAMILY photo of all of your around it. Anniversary coming up? Mark it on your calendar with stars and hearts. Keeping these little momentos in a box, in the computer, etc come in handy in the case of a lawsuit. The insurance companies want PROOF you were a great dad, great mom, super husband or wife. I have taken in a LOT of photos, love notes, cards, emails Tom sent me long after I had gone to bed that prove his 'significance' as a husband and father. Who would have ever guessed one would need to prove their worth. Lets not talk about his wages. They do not care.

Tom is being blamed for 50% of the accident. Their stint is, He CHOOSE not to stop, but to try to go around the back of the trailor. This is based on the driver of the truck and the driver of the car behind the trailor.

I am going to give my deposition June 18th. I have been warned, and will go in to be briefed, that it will be brutal. I cannot be defensive when they ask questions like "how often did you have sex? What different ways did you have sex? What hobbies did you have together? How much time were you together when not at work? What medical problems did your husband have? What drugs did he take? on and on and on. I plan to have my cousin go with me to sit by me and help keep me calm. I have to put it in my head "they only care about the money. Keep your cool. Its just a business deal". I am mad because they are trying to blame HIM for even part of the accident. So, I will stand my ground. I will be calm and answer only what they ask and be careful with my words.

I still have not sold Tom's bike. I will be putting it in the paper soon. It needs to be sold. I no longer have insurance on it, so I guess the guy will just have to start it and see that it runs. I do not want to be liable for anyone driving it.

The kids and I are doing better every day. Its rough, but it will get better...one day at at time.

Thanks AGAIN and AGAIN for all the love and support that has poured out from this site.

You were and are Tom E.'s family. You saw to it we had your support, and we appreciate it so much. I will be printing up all of the things said about Tom and taking it to the lawyer's office to add to the testimony of his family here and his life, with Don's permission. I am not sure if that is legal or not, to print what you all have said in condolences. I keep trying to gather each piece of EVIDENCE of Tom's life. And all of you were a big part of that. I may even print the thong threads.. That thread was the last great laughs we had together. Tom loved a play on words and rushed to the site for weeks before the accident to see what else had been said about those silly thongs. He laughed so hard. Couldn't wait to tell me what someone else had said about that. Funny how loosing your purse can put the ladies into a tail spin about cheery pairs of thongs.

I cherish those laughs, those smiles you all gave him.

Thanks again, you sweet loving riders! I LOVE YOU!

Sherry, Jason, TJ, DJ and Randy

(TJ graduates from Highschool memorial weekend. Jason broke up with his GF in Nov and moved out in Dec to the UOP campus. DJ will graduate next year. Randy and DJ have both grown at least an inch. Randy will graduate 8th grade next year.)

[sarges46]

While on one hand it is great to hear from you...the brain is trying hard to digest the information about the court case etc.

 

For the life of me I cannot imagine having my spouse go through that nightmare. Where are the folks with enough guts to call a spade a spade....Tom didnt stop but tried to go around so its partially his fault....come on give us decent common sense people a break. We all know he was doing evasive manouvering and probably braking at the same time but the folks behind didnt see or notice that.

 

That other stuff is why comedians have so much ammo for bad lawyer jokes.

 

What a shame that you are to be subjected to this. You're right....its about money and a damn shame that those responsible will not stand up and say so.

 

Take care and know we are still here. Funny thing is I was just wondering about what's up with you and your family. Crazy isnt it.

[Guest tx2sturgis]

Sherry.

 

What can I say. I came onboard this website a few months after Tom died. I can only go thru the archives to get a sense of the bonding, the closeness, that was shared here during his visits.

 

I only know you thru this site, and somewhat thru the other site, and wish I were closer, to be able to offer help, or hugs, or anything else you might need. Hopefully the boys have stepped in ( and I know they have) to help you with things that need to be done around the house.

 

Good luck to you in the coming months. I wish for you the best that can be.

 

 

 

 

 

[hipshot]

HEY SHERRIE!

good to see ya back "in the house".

i agree with sarg!

our judicial system has truly become an abomination!

having said that, it is still the best deal going,world wide.

stay strong, and if ya have to, GET MAD!!!

stand up on your hind legs and fight back!

don't let their lawyers bully or intimidate you!

and finally .don't stay away so long!

we miss ya!

just jt

[Ladyrider]

I wish I could show you the photos of the skid marks. They clearly show TWO skid marks in the MIDDLE of Tom's lane. He broke hard and the bike went side ways, towards the back of the trailor putting his right side down, banging his head and pushing his left leg up into the wheel cover/casing on the back wheel of the double lengeth horse trailer. My lawyer says his 'prilimenary' estimate on speed per skid marks was 38 MPH. Speed limit was 35. 35 MPH is a short spot in that part of the two lane 45 MPH stretch of road. I am not sure if you can google earth it, but the accident was the intersecton of Lower Sacramento road and Collier road in Acampo, california. Even with MY LIMITED experience and my MC training, you maneuver to avoid hitting something and lay the bike down. Tom did what ANYONE would have done. God bless my man.

[Acadieman]

God Bless you and your family.Be strong and trust in God that he will make things right for you.

 

 

Bucky Thompson

[Rich99]

Yup, somebody always tries to pass the blame. The one major accident I was in was the same way. I was in a semi-flatbed, and with ice on the road and poor visibility, I was out of control for several hundred feet, but going over the Altamont here in Livermore, then heading down the other side, I was out of control and skidded several hundred feet, and by the time I came to a stop, my tractor was facing up hill. The thing is, I didn't hit anybody. I was number 6 out of 31 vehicles, 7 trucks and 24 cars. But after I came to a stop, 3 vehicles ran into me of which on of them was a five ton truck loaded with paint. So facing up hill, he hit me head on, knocking my 18,000 lb. tractor around 180 degrees to where I was facing down hill again. And this is the thing, he sued me because he said I hit him?? Well, I ended up counter suing and won, because he was full of it. Being that there were so many vehicles involved, I had 14 other lawyers there besides my own, and after it was over, I never wanted to go through anything like that again. So it shouldn't be that bad with the fact that there was only one vehicle involved, so I guess just one lawyer??? But you just hang in there, I was coached also, and that helped alot.

But great hearing from you Sherry, hope everything turns out all right and I'll be praying for you.

Rich

[Guest tx2sturgis]

If you have the ability Sherry, maybe we can meet you in the chatroom tonite...host a special chatroom get-together for you and Tom's memory.

 

Is this do-able tonite? Say, 7 pm California time?

 

 

[Ladyrider]

Chat room is a great idea. But, I am not sure Iwill be home till later. The kids and I will go to chevy's tonight and eat, as that was Tom's favorite place to eat. cheese enchilada's. With chipolte sauce. I thought we would go by the cross by the road and put some flowers there and say a few funny words about dad. We should be home by sundown. I will hope in the chat room when we get home.

thanks for the sweet idea. Nice thing, for our Tom E.

I have my venture rider shirt on today...Tom's favorite place to hang out!

[Guest tx2sturgis]

Well, if Yamamama or one of our other gracious hostesses will set a better time, I will be glad to be there...honored in fact. Please tell us what time will be better for you Sherry. I will be up late.

 

 

 

 

[mini-muffin]

Glad to hear from you Sherry. Sorry you have to go through this. It's terrible what people will do for money. I'll start the ball rolling on the chat get together. I'll make a separate post about it. Hope to see you there, it's been a while.

 

Love Ya (FFF)

Margaret

[Eck]

Sherry,

Once again ..good to hear from you and see you are making it with the kids and moving on best you can.

As for the lawsuit... just a thought here, but any chance of having a certified motorcycle trainer / teacher attend court with you to explain the "do's and dont's when braking or manuvering in an accident situation?

Your uncertified opinon carries no weight, Mine wouldnt either for Im not a certified cycle instructor, and I would bet my last dollar the attorney asking you all the questions is not a certified motorcycle instructor either...

I definately would have a certified instructor sitting there by my side and when the questions come, I would say straight up..sorry your honor but I am not certified in that arena to say what is right or wrong but I did bring Mr./ Mrs so-in-so who is a certified motorcycle instructor and can tell you first hand what iIS the proper actions to take in that situation....(make sure the instructor knows every part of the accident so it doesnt back fire on you though...to ensure Tom DID take the right actions to avoid the accident).

Your still in our hearts and prayers girl...!!......Hang in there

[Switch]

Sherry,

I don't know you and I didn't know Tom but that doesn't stop me from offering my condolences. When you go to the hearing, you mentioned you would have someone with you. May I suggest, in addition to Eck's suggestion, that you take a small tape recorder with you and set it right up on the table so they KNOW they're being recorded and don't let them talk you out of it. That is your right. It will give you reference much better later than one's memory of what occurred.

God bless you and your family

Marv.

[BOO]

Sherry,

Glad to see you on here again and also glad you guys are coping.

As for the Expert witness, you guys are jumping the gun a little here I think. She is going to a deposition and here in Illinois there will be not Judge there. Just the attorneys. They just tell their side of the story and then it will be decided if the case goes to court or if someone wants to settle it now.

Maybe they will make you an offer after the deposition and you can get on with things.

Bummer thing to have to go through though.

Jerry

[george c]

i feel what you are doing

we lost my son one year ago today as well in a motorcycle accident.

and we are still fighting with it and the man that ran the red light.

all i can say is hang tuff and know that your not alone.There is others out here and we are here for each-other.

if you need to talk P.M. me and I'll do what i can.

hang in there

George C.

[Ladyrider]

I talk to my attourney about taping the deposition. I am going to guess he will tell me that is not necessary, and the court recorder is there writing down every word. I have read the two they have already done.

Yesterday, I got a call from my oldest son Jason. He had been in an accident on his MC. I guess there were two witnesses that stayed by to say it was the womans fault driving the car. I praise God he was not hurt very badly. The bike had to be towed off, he says the farings will have to come off. No broken bones, but bruised up foot and hand. I think most of you know, not only did I loose Tom on his bike, but my brother died back in 1979 on a MC as well. Also died instantly. Its my worst fear to also loose my son. But what can anyone do? Riding feels great! It saves gas as well. But we all have to weight the risks and take life and each day at a time. I look back and think "I should have told him, no bike" No, that is wrong. To deny someone pleasure that he received from riding, I just could not do that.

[Guest tx2sturgis]

Sherry...you are sounding like it is becoming an overwhelming situation for you. You have suffered some huge losses, and we are certainly there for you, as much as we can be, here on the net.

 

I hope that you have someone to talk to, but if not...if your support network is weak, maybe you should have some guidance. I hate to even suggest counseling, but maybe you need to get thru some of these things that are heavy on your mind.

 

Please know that we are here for you.

 

 

[tazmocycle]

sherry, glad to hear from ya'll again! hope things keep getting better as days go by. glad the kids are doing things to remember their dad. i lost my dad to a truck wreck in 67, as i get old, i find myself thinking about the times we had growing up. there was 8 of us kids, i only had 2, and i don't know how my dad survived all the pain and suffering we put him thru. but there was a lot of fun times, my dad took all of us, sometime together or one on one hunting and fishing and other things. you are right about documenting as much as you can of family events, they help out greatly. stand strong as we all are here for you as you need!! you may suggest to your lawer to look into the "ride like a pro" dvd for imfo on avoiding accident to see if he can use it for support of tom's actions in the wreck, that way there woun't be any suprises. keep up you faith, as you deal with all that faces you and i know you will do ok, don and susan.

[mini-muffin]

Glad Jason's ok Sherry. Must have been a bit of a scare for you. Sorry I missed you in chat last night.

 

Love ya

(fff)

Margaret

[Venturous Randy]

Hey Sherrie, Eck made a good suggestion on the motorcycle safety trainer. Also, there are motorcycle specific lawyers available that really know the best way to handle a motorcycle case. I see them advertising on tv.

We wish you the best.

RandyA

[Ladyrider]

you may suggest to your lawer to look into the "ride like a pro" dvd for imfo on avoiding accident to see if he can use it for support of tom's actions in the wreck, that way there woun't be any suprises. keep up you faith, as you deal with all that faces you and i know you will do ok, don and susan.

Thanks Don and others for the ideas. I cut and pasted an email to the lawyer about it.

The following is a tribute that Randy wrote to his dad. It was read in church yesterday, as all the kids in his private school were to write tributes to their moms and one to their dad if they wished.

This is what Randy (14yr) wrote about Tom E.

Dad

One year ago, my dad, a husband and a friend died on April 30th, 2007 at 7:30. This tribute is to my dad, my best friend and to say how much he meant to me. He meant a lot to me because he was my father, he was there for me when I got hurt. When I entered Kindergarten and when I entered every grade from then to 6th grade.

He was my dad, he meant a lot to my mom. He was my mom's best friend as well as mine. I will never forget my dad's generosity towards others and toward his family. He was the man, he was the one who went through all the hard work to get us a christmas tree every year, and he helped keep our family running smoothly.

One of the things I liked was how he played the accordion (a type of flute) he taught me how to play it a little bit , but i admired how he played it so well. He listened to a lot of composers like Bach and that is how I got into liking composers.

Every Saturday night I would stay up with him and watched him play his accordion and i tried to copy what he did and he helped me with some notes. THere are a lot of things I remember doing with him but there is too much to tell, my dad, you can call him a friend, but I call him my best friend. One year later after his death it is still painful seeing him in my mind every day.

I haven't heard his voice in a year and it hurts. But life continues and there is nothing I can do about it. To me every day is the same, I go to school come home and there is no dad waiting there for me and I wish that he didn't die, but God has a reason for everything. And my dad's time is up and he had to leave. My prayer today and every day from now on is that Jesus will come soon and i can see my dad again.

Every day I have the same scenario comes through my mind that if I am at home and Jesus comes I will take my bike and ride as fast as I could to get to the cemetary to see my dad, because every day it kills me inside that I cannot see my dad. One year ago my dad died and this tribute is to him, my beloved father.

Randy Patterson

[rod]

Tom was a special man and you have a very special son. You are all in our prayers. Rod and Rose

[autopilot]

Oh, my Lord, bless these who grieve so and grant them peace; in Jesus name, Amen.