Took the bike out today

[uncledj]

With everything going on, I had the bike out once last Summer for a trip up to the cabin for a total of 900 miles, came home and put it in the shed and that's where it's sat since.

I had a bit of time to myself today and decided that, since mechanical things don't like to sit, I better start it and run it around the block. Thanks to Seafoam and a battery tender she started right up and I put a whole 3 miles on her. Told the wife I was going to have to give her a quick going over and we should try to burn out some of the old gas before putting her away again.......hope I / we can get the chance to get away for a couple of hours.

On a related subject, Dad told me the other day that he thinks it's time for him to go to a nursing home.

With Lisa and I working full time, we can't be there all day and he says he thinks he needs someone around all the time. He's worried that he may fall or have a situation where he needs help right away.

At 95, pushing 96, I didn't argue. I offered to have someone check in on him a couple of times a day, but he didn't think that'd be enough. (Lady across the street is a friend and is a retired nurses aid and she offered to do it.)

SO.....I've applied for the necessary assistance to make it happen....looks like it may take up to a couple of months, but once it happens, we'll have some of our lives back.

I think it'll be a good thing for him, as he now spends most of his time in front of the TV, alone, or sitting on the porch, although it's tough for him to get around on his own....hard to get out onto the porch and into his rocker on his own, and the place we want to set him up in seems pretty nice, ...lots of activities and people around....even a couple of other WWII vets.

I pass it every day on my way home from work, so I can stop in daily for a visit.

Not an easy decision, and I told him before that he can stay with us as long as he wants to, but it was his call, and I feel a bit guilty to say that I'm feeling relieved that he's decided to go to an elder care facility.

It's pretty much consumed Lisa and I caring for him. I thank God for Lisa, who's done so much over the last few years to care for him.

Next year we'll be able to make it to MD and WNY Rally.

Anyhoo, I wanted to share that with my Venturerider friends.

[djh3]

Our family had to make that decision several years back for my wifes dad. We figured man if the suggestion came from us it would be an up hill battle. I think it was my sister in law took him to one of the places we had looked at. She took him for lunch and he met a few folks and on the way home said "when can I move". We were pleasantly surprised. We think it extended his life and certainly his quality of life by years. He enjoyed the "community" of folks his age and experiences.

[RDawson]

It's a hard decision to make. I too think it extended my grandmother's life, she was happier having someone to talk to all day and things to keep her occupied. We're at the time to consider this with our mother now. She hates setting alone all day but won't talk about getting help or a nursing home. Dementia is getting her pretty bad, dr says more interaction and things to do will slow it but she won't listen.

I have to commend you for holding off so long but sooner or later there's not much choice.

[Freebird]

I sincerely admire you for taking such good care of your father and I agree that it is probably time to get him full-time help and companionship. I tell you, since getting into the stairlift business, I see situations that just break my heart. I meet so many wonderful and kind elderly people and am so happy when they have loving and caring family around them but not all do.

 

This week, I got a call from a lady in New Philadephia, OH. I'm sure you know where that is. The is somewhere around 92 years old. She wasn't sure but said that she was 91 - 93. She lives alone. She has a daughter but she lives in Minnesota. She does have a couple of close friends that she sees and talks to on the phone several times a week. She is physically in pretty good shape. She is a retired school teacher and can tell stories about things that happened 50 and 60 years ago in great detail. She has almost no short term memory though.

 

She had a very old stairlift that stopped working. She couldn't find anybody who would come look at it. It was an 1:45 hour drive for me but I told her I would come by. I knew right off that the stairlift had seen better days and it would cost more to repair it than it was worth. She insisted though that she didn't have the money for a new one so I gave it an honest try. I put new batteries in it and could get it to move but it wouldn't charge. The charger is built into the main circuit board and my cost on the board is about $700.00. So with new batteries, a new circuit board, service call, etc. It was going to be around $1,000.00 even if I did the board at my cost. At that point, it might work but was still worn out. Guide rollers, pinion gear, etc. were all worn out. Even if I got it working, I wasn't sure it would be safe. I quoted her a new one for $2895.00 including installation but she said there was just no way that she could afford it. So, I told her that I would go home and see if I could gather up enough used parts to get it working and safe. I found some of what I needed and then went back the next day and gave it another try. I changed the circuit board and finally got it to charge like it should but that led to the discovery of more issues and it just became a waste of time to continue. Now, she was such a sweet lady, sometimes I am just not a good businessman. I now have over 6 hours of driving time and another 6 hours of on-site time invested but because I just couldn't get it to work, I refused to charge her anything. She asked me again how much a new one would cost and I told her 2895.00. She again told me that she didn't have the money but that she wanted to pray about it and would give me a call back.

 

The next day, she called to let me know that she just had to have a stairlift and that though she didn't have the money, she could get it from her credit union. So I prepared a new lift and then went back yesterday to remove the old one and install the new one. She told me that she hadn't gotten to the credit union yet but that she could pay me all but $1,000.00 and then send me that early next week. I agree to do so. Then she wanted to call her bank and make sure that the check that she was writing me was good. She couldn't figure out how to call her bank so I looked up the number and dialed it for her. She had the bank on speaker and they told her that she had $27,700.00 in her checking account. So she thanked them and hung up.

 

Then she told me, if it's OK, I'll write you a check today for $27,000.00 and then send you the rest after I go to my credit union. She thought that when I told her $2895 for a new one, That it was twenty eight thousand and ninety five dollars. She needed it so badly that she was willing to pay that. It took me a good while to explain to her that it was $2895.00, just under $3,000.00.

 

The sad part is that there are many people out there who prey on our elderly. There are people who would have wiped out her bank account and left her with nothing. I actually discussed it with her before leaving and told her that I was worried about her because there are people who would take all her money if she is not careful. Her response was, I know, I realize that now, but I knew that I could trust you and that you weren't going to cheat me. She did agree though to run any future large expenditures by her friends. I'm just afraid that she won't remember that either though.

 

There just comes a time when some people need full-time help. That day may come for me also. When it does, I hope that I am able to recoginze that fact.

[Drews]

THIS IS WHY I RESPECT YOU DON

[videoarizona]

THIS IS WHY I RESPECT YOU DON

 

 

[WRIDR]

Please add us to that list too, Don!

 

That was an awesome move on your part, and unfortunately we understand the situ a bit more than many members - having installed a stair lift two weeks ago, primarily for our Wife.

 

Thankfully we're both in better shape than that dear old Soul, but the clock has begun ticking VERY loudly.

 

You've done a wonderful thing there, bless your kind heart!~

 

Rgds, WRIDR

[RDawson]

Don I have to disagree with the bad business man quote. Great move. :happy65:I believe in karma.

[Kretz]

Don, that story brought a tear to my eye!

Thank you for being honest & decent I sincerely hope you will be repaid for your kindness. Respect!

[sydem]

KUDOS DON, you are a good man!! I wish there were more like you in the world.

 

Between my parents and my wife's we have/had 3 out of 4 in a care facility of one sort or another. Some days it was tough as my dad was forced into one due to a fall and a brain injury that made it impossible for him to live outside a facility. It was a constant fight with him as he felt there was nothing wrong with him and all he wanted was to go home. My mom chose to move to a facility which made it much easier as she wasn't "forced" into it. My mother-in-law has dementia and is for the most part happy wherever she is. The peace of mind knowing that they are being properly cared for brought great peace to our families.

 

We toured quite a few before we found some that we were comfortable with. We did a fair bit of investigation on the internet when we thought we found a good one to see what families of residents thought of them. We saw some we thought were great but the reviews said otherwise, scary stuff.

 

uncledj, I will send up a pray that you find an excellent facility for your dad.

[snyper316]

I sincerely admire you for taking such good care of your father and I agree that it is probably time to get him full-time help and companionship. I tell you, since getting into the stairlift business, I see situations that just break my heart. I meet so many wonderful and kind elderly people and am so happy when they have loving and caring family around them but not all do.

 

This week, I got a call from a lady in New Philadephia, OH. I'm sure you know where that is. The is somewhere around 92 years old. She wasn't sure but said that she was 91 - 93. She lives alone. She has a daughter but she lives in Minnesota. She does have a couple of close friends that she sees and talks to on the phone several times a week. She is physically in pretty good shape. She is a retired school teacher and can tell stories about things that happened 50 and 60 years ago in great detail. She has almost no short term memory though.

 

She had a very old stairlift that stopped working. She couldn't find anybody who would come look at it. It was an 1:45 hour drive for me but I told her I would come by. I knew right off that the stairlift had seen better days and it would cost more to repair it than it was worth. She insisted though that she didn't have the money for a new one so I gave it an honest try. I put new batteries in it and could get it to move but it wouldn't charge. The charger is built into the main circuit board and my cost on the board is about $700.00. So with new batteries, a new circuit board, service call, etc. It was going to be around $1,000.00 even if I did the board at my cost. At that point, it might work but was still worn out. Guide rollers, pinion gear, etc. were all worn out. Even if I got it working, I wasn't sure it would be safe. I quoted her a new one for $2895.00 including installation but she said there was just no way that she could afford it. So, I told her that I would go home and see if I could gather up enough used parts to get it working and safe. I found some of what I needed and then went back the next day and gave it another try. I changed the circuit board and finally got it to charge like it should but that led to the discovery of more issues and it just became a waste of time to continue. Now, she was such a sweet lady, sometimes I am just not a good businessman. I now have over 6 hours of driving time and another 6 hours of on-site time invested but because I just couldn't get it to work, I refused to charge her anything. She asked me again how much a new one would cost and I told her 2895.00. She again told me that she didn't have the money but that she wanted to pray about it and would give me a call back.

 

The next day, she called to let me know that she just had to have a stairlift and that though she didn't have the money, she could get it from her credit union. So I prepared a new lift and then went back yesterday to remove the old one and install the new one. She told me that she hadn't gotten to the credit union yet but that she could pay me all but $1,000.00 and then send me that early next week. I agree to do so. Then she wanted to call her bank and make sure that the check that she was writing me was good. She couldn't figure out how to call her bank so I looked up the number and dialed it for her. She had the bank on speaker and they told her that she had $27,700.00 in her checking account. So she thanked them and hung up.

 

Then she told me, if it's OK, I'll write you a check today for $27,000.00 and then send you the rest after I go to my credit union. She thought that when I told her $2895 for a new one, That it was twenty eight thousand and ninety five dollars. She needed it so badly that she was willing to pay that. It took me a good while to explain to her that it was $2895.00, just under $3,000.00.

 

The sad part is that there are many people out there who prey on our elderly. There are people who would have wiped out her bank account and left her with nothing. I actually discussed it with her before leaving and told her that I was worried about her because there are people who would take all her money if she is not careful. Her response was, I know, I realize that now, but I knew that I could trust you and that you weren't going to cheat me. She did agree though to run any future large expenditures by her friends. I'm just afraid that she won't remember that either though.

 

There just comes a time when some people need full-time help. That day may come for me also. When it does, I hope that I am able to recoginze that fact.

 

And all this coming from a man that sends us Nasty Grams Yearly!!! Anyways I will get around to it sometime today if I don't forget again... But that is awesome of you for working so hard for that lady, Many ederly people especially the ladies are just super sweet it is almost hard not to do stuff for free for them.. I have an old man across the street I tell you that man always got something going on over there but kudos on him I find it awesom I need to get motivated like him...

[snyper316]

And all this coming from a man that sends us Nasty Grams Yearly!!! Anyways I will get around to it sometime today if I don't forget again... But that is awesome of you for working so hard for that lady, Many ederly people especially the ladies are just super sweet it is almost hard not to do stuff for free for them.. I have an old man across the street I tell you that man always got something going on over there but kudos on him I find it awesom I need to get motivated like him...

 

 

I will admit tho if there yard is a small one I have refused payments back when I lived in granite City Il... But hell the lady made me sandwich, insisted I have some Ice cold tea so really I didnt do it for free.. Remind me of Adam Sandler taken A meatball for Piano lessons lol

[uncledj]

Been jumping through hoops for a couple of months trying to get Dad the benefits needed to pay for a nursing home.

Finally got through all of that, and got him on the waiting list for the best rated home in the area.

They called Thursday and said there's an opening, and we're taking him in Monday Morning.

We're having a tough time with it, and have told him that if he doesn't want to go he doesn't have to, but he knows that it's time. He says he needs "constant care" and keeps asking if I'm taking him someplace where he'll get it. He doesn't remember that we took a couple of tours of the place, and he seemed pretty impressed that it was a nice place.....(It IS a nice place)....

So, I'm taking him in tomorrow after breakfast.....tearin' up a bit.....

Anyway, we're finishing another chapter in our lives....sending him off to God's waiting room.

At least the home he's going to (Bennington Glenn) is placed where I pass it to and from work most days, so I'll be able to stop by easily.

Didn't think this would be so tough....

[uhfradarwill]

Glad to hear the bike took the lay-off nicely and came rite back.

 

On the other topic:

I respect you decision can only imagine the emotional toll it took.

 

Myself, I'll never have to make such a decision.

My Father and Mother were Heroin junkies and in 1969 skipped town leaving me and my sister, both sub 3 yrs old, to live a life without ever knowing them.

 

I'm not sure a lifetime of wondering is worth having to make a one-time very hard decision tho.

 

Live long and prosper!!

[videoarizona]

John,

 

Been through this with my wife and mom-in-law. It is hard.

But the saving grace is...it's his call and he knows what he needs. Besides full time care, he'll make new friends and have people around to make his transition a good one. It will leave a hole in your lives for a while, but you both have done more than your share...it's time for the caregivers to take over.

 

Please don't feel guilty....as that's an easy thing to feel...and quite normal.

You should pat yourselves on the back that you gave him care when he needed you!

 

Thanks for sharing and enjoy visiting with dad.