We were all wrong!

[baylensman]

So two doctors leave their office and walk down a city street to a local bistro. they decide to sit outside and enjoy the day. After ordering they begin to watch the crowd walk by, and begin discussing the various ailments of each. One man is walking slowly down the sidewalk almost on tip toe, kind of rolling from the toe to the ball of his foot most gently as if he does want to jar something.

 

the first doctor declares " Its obvious the man has had sex with a woman negotiable virtue and has acquired a venerial disease causing a rash and tenderness!"

 

The second doctor says " I disagree my good fellow. His gait and gentle foot placement indicates an irrational of the rectal tissue caused by hemoriods and poor diet!"

 

The can't agree and as the man comes abreast of them, the doctors stop him and begin to tell their tale.

 

My college and I disagree on your diagnosis and we have agreed that the one who is wrong will pay the other for the corrective treatment!

 

The man listens to the one doctors theory of the venereal disease, then listens closely to the other explain how it had to be hemorrhoids. The doctors awaited the mans reply.

 

The man looked at them both and said I guess all three of us are wrong then, i thought it as just a fart.....

[Leland]

The doctor says to his patient, I'm afraid that I have some good news and some bad news. The patient says, let me here the good news first. The doctor says you have 24 hours to live. The patient says Oh My God! What could possibly be worse than that? What's the bad news? The doctor says, I forgot to tell you yesterday.

[greg_in_london]

Okay, so this guy goes to his doctor and explains that he is worried about his health and not feeling well and all his symptoms as well as his history.

The doctor is a bit distracted while listening to him, consulting the files on his PC, checking a few pamphlets and interrupting every now and then to ask a question.

After a couple of minutes the doctor stops his patient and, hardly looking up, says, "I'm really sorry, this can't go on, you only have ten to live."

The man hardly stops his flow, but obviously changes his tack, "Ten, ten. ten ? What do you mean ? Ten years ? ten months ?"

The doctor continues,

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Seven,

 

 

 

 

 

six,

 

 

 

 

 

 

five...."

[Sylvester]

Now these are funny!!! :rotf:

 

[Patch]

SO,

 

A young lady goes to see her family doctor.

The dock asks, how are you feeling and what brings you in today?

She begins to blush and says, I seem to have a reoccurring greenish rash, it started 2 months ago.

Really the doctors says. Where is this rash, show me.

She explains between my thighs, It seems to go away after a couple of days then reappears!

Ok get undressed and place your legs up in the..... and I'll be back in a minute.

Dock leaves the room while she gets ready and goes to his library to look through treatments for a greenish rash.

Minutes later he enters the room and begins the exclamation.

Well he says, this is a strange one, I can clearly see the shapes of a 1/4 moon and as you say, greenish in color on both sides. hmm

The dock then reach behind him for an alcohol pad and asks, are you actively dating?

Oh yes I have been seeing a very nice fellow who treats me well and has just moved from Europe, said with a glow in her eyes!

Yes I see as he opens the pad and begins to wipe the effected area.

There now nothing to worry about, they are both gone now, I will give you some of these wipes to take with you.

Really she says, what was it, will they come back?

Well the doctor says while standing up; that depends - is your new boyfriend a gypsy he asks?

Why yes she says, he is as she blushes a deep red!

OK then, tell him he needs new earrings, preferably gold ones and this will stop the rash from coming back!

[uhfradarwill]

SO,

 

A young lady goes to see her family doctor.

The dock asks, how are you feeling and what brings you in today?

She begins to blush and says, I seem to have a reoccurring greenish rash, it started 2 months ago.

Really the doctors says. Where is this rash, show me.

She explains between my thighs, It seems to go away after a couple of days then reappears!

Ok get undressed and place your legs up in the..... and I'll be back in a minute.

Dock leaves the room while she gets ready and goes to his library to look through treatments for a greenish rash.

Minutes later he enters the room and begins the exclamation.

Well he says, this is a strange one, I can clearly see the shapes of a 1/4 moon and as you say, greenish in color on both sides. hmm

The dock then reach behind him for an alcohol pad and asks, are you actively dating?

Oh yes I have been seeing a very nice fellow who treats me well and has just moved from Europe, said with a glow in her eyes!

Yes I see as he opens the pad and begins to wipe the effected area.

There now nothing to worry about, they are both gone now, I will give you some of these wipes to take with you.

Really she says, what was it, will they come back?

Well the doctor says while standing up; that depends - is your new boyfriend a gypsy he asks?

Why yes she says, he is as she blushes a deep red!

OK then, tell him he needs new earrings, preferably gold ones and this will stop the rash from coming back!

 

That potentially dirty joke was told with such PC and was still entertaining!!

[uhfradarwill]

As a pre-teen child I one day found myself in the bathroom snooping.

I eventually found some, presumable my father's, condoms.

I blew one up like a balloon and was bouncing it around when suddenly my Mother pounded on the door and declared she had a personal emergency.

 

Knowing time was of the essence, I opened the lid of the toilet, stashed the inflated condom, and vacated said premise.

 

I few minutes late my Mother exited the bathroom with a relieved yet excited look on her face.

I asked if she was ok, and she said to me something I will never forget....

 

"Yes son, I'm okay, but I think I'm the only human being to actually "see" a fart!!

[Patch]

That potentially dirty joke was told with such PC and was still entertaining!!

 

Thanks Will!