Dang Squirrel

[kevin-vic-b.c.]

I was not sure if I should put this into Jokes and Humor forum or not but it is real.

 

Friday morning Lori and I awoke just after 4 am to the sound of scratching coming from the attic. We have had mice in the house in past years but this was more than a mouse and please we hoped it was not a rat but even seemed more.

I went outside to find that the air vents to my attic on one side of the house were damaged. Twenty odd years in the house and never before had any issue. So I took an emergency day off work, Up to the attic I went in search of critters. Something had been there for sure as there was a bit of damage to the insulation in one corner.

Off to Home Depot for supplies, no use putting fiberglass screen back up there so got some metal screen, then found some 1/4 inch mesh and hey look at this..... metal sheet of "lath" for putting under the stucco. Now that will work.

I bought all 3, made a nice metal mesh sandwich, climbed up the ladder took the old frame work out and installed the new steel sandwich.

Sitting having dinner and the neighbours son knocking on the door in a total panic, he had been cleaning his car in the driveway when out of the attic on the other end of the house came a Squirrel. The biggest Squirrel ever he says.... yeah right. So after dinner out I go and make some more metal mesh sandwiches and do the other end of the house. Up the ladder the kid next door is yelling look there it is there.

Now normally when we see a Squirrel it is a cute fuzzy rodent you could capture with your coffee mug. Ok this one would not fit under a mixing bowl... extremely large sized rodent no fuzzy cute Squirrel.

Ok I got the bases covered all four air inlets redone in metal that will keep the critter out!

We take the dog for a walk and when we return here is Super Squirrel on the side of my house, he has climbed up the stucco wall and I guess I had left a few rough metal edges sticking out and he had his tail stuck in the mesh. The rodent was about 2 foot long from nose to tail, not what us city folk expect to see from a cute cuddly Squirrel. I guess he was uncomfortable with me getting too close and he ripped his tail out of the wire leaving a few chunks behind. Well I figure he is well p!ssed of and will leave now.

Come 4 am Saturday morning guess what.... Super Squirrel has returned. Now he is real p!ssed at us. He is ripping and shredding the wooden frame work of these air grills apart. There is scrap lumber on the ground under them. He runs around the roof in the gutter and stops and looks over the edge at us through the window, the neighbour can see him from his deck going crazy on our roof.

Back to Home Depot for more metal "lath" and a couple 1x6 lumber. I ripped some strips and made a frame twice the size of the air vents, from edge to edge on the soffit 3 inch deck screws up into the framework. Ha try that Rodent!

Sunday 4 am Super Squirrel returned but did give up easier today, some of my new framework shredded but not so bad as the fence board I used is much harder than the cedar from the original frames.

We are going to give him a few days and then invite our youngest son over for dinner if need be. He trained as a sniper in Army Cadets and still has a pellet riffle. We are Canadians we don't have real guns sorry.

See what Monday morning brings with Super Squirrel.

[uncledj]

Be advised....when they're that determined to get in, it may mean there's babies inside.

Been there, done that with raccoons. Actually ripped off shingles and was tearing at the plywood to try to get onto the porch.

Babies were up in the eaves and I didn't know it.

[Marcarl]

Take a margarine dish or something similar, half fill it with Amex ammonia and then set it in the attic. His desire to enter the attic will dissolve fairly quickly.

[Dragonslayer]

Sounds like what we call down here a Fox squirrel. While not as common as ground squirrel or grey squirrel they do happen and typically are about the size of a house cat. I have one stuffed and running up the wall between the pheasant and deer heads.

 

You might want to look up my thread of about two years ago titled "Pyscho Dad" where I describe a similar situation I had.

[Sailor]

Had 3 of the little beasts try to commit suicide under my front wheel on the way back from Castlegar. One made a dash for my front wheel, I zigged, 30 feet later I had to zag, another 30 feet and I zigged again.

[cowpuc]

Take a margarine dish or something similar, half fill it with Amex ammonia and then set it in the attic. His desire to enter the attic will dissolve fairly quickly.

 

gun's not allowed so you gas the little slackers

[ReinyRooster]

Sounds like you need to be checking the internet for some good squirrel stew recipes!! Hope the young fella can shoot straight.

[BlueSky]

I've seen a few fox squirrels in my hunting days as a kid. Even killed a couple of them while hunting squirrels. They were really tough to kill. One of the 3 our dog treed jumped from the top of a pine tree to the ground and escaped. I regret killing those two because they are so rare. Wouldn't do it now for sure. Their fur was reddish tinted, how they got the name I suppose. I'm not sure a pellet gun will kill one.

[Yammer Dan]

Pellet Gun head shot no more tree Rat!!!

[Sailor]

If the pellet gun doesn't work I have a 357 magnum you could try.

[uncledj]

Take a margarine dish or something similar, half fill it with Amex ammonia and then set it in the attic. His desire to enter the attic will dissolve fairly quickly.

LOL....reminds me....I had one that had gotten into the ceiling of the bedroom. A frame means not much attic, but once they get into the small space at the peak, they can travel throughout the house, on the other side of the drywall. Anyhoo, it was in the middle of the night, and I heard that little sucker scraping around in there and it was making me nuts. I got the bright idea to get the turkey seasoning injector, kinda like a big hypodermic needle, ...fill it with ammonia...and stick it through the ceiling drywall and spray it into that space, hoping to chase him outta there. The wife wakes up, with me standing on the bed, with this large hypodermic needle stuck through the ceiling and rotating it as I was spraying.....She says..."What the hell are you doing?"

It took a bit to make her understand. Was kinda funny though. (Didn't work)

I eventually ended up tearing out the entire ceiling,....blocking out the spots where I thought he may get in with metal lathe, then insulating and replacing the drywall.

Went over the entire exterior with a fine tooth comb and blocked any potential entrances. That worked.

 

[BlueSky]

If the pellet gun doesn't work I have a 357 magnum you could try.

 

You'd never hit him with a hand gun!

[Aussie Annie]

:rotf:

[Larry1963]

If there are babies I would worry they will die without mom, and smell up everything.

Now if I was a liberal I would say that squirrel has a right to live off you

But I am not, and currently we are lucky to live in a place where blasting him with a shotgun or rat shot would be legal and fun

 

We have pecan trees down here, one of the farmers pays me to go and shoot squirrels, plus give me the 12 shotgun shells. That is just as good, my job pays for mileage, I get paid to ride my motorcycle. Does life get better.

Life could get better if I but a dirt bike, with a shotgun holder on it that would hold a good semiauto 12 gage and I could ride up and down the trees shooting, or falling off killing myself LOL

[Sailor]

Wouldn't have to hit him with the 357, it would scare him to death. Course the roof might need a wee bit of repair afterwards.

[Flyinfool]

I've made a squirrel head shot with a .357. It just takes 5 years of 8,000 rounds per year of practice first.

The trick is to get it while it is still outside, saves on roof repairs. The other advantage of a 357 over a pellet gun is that the squirrel can not hide behind a stick, well he can but it won't matter.

 

 

Dang, I sure do wish I could still shoot like that...................

[Dragonslayer]

LOL....reminds me....I had one that had gotten into the ceiling of the bedroom. A frame means not much attic, but once they get into the small space at the peak, they can travel throughout the house, on the other side of the drywall. Anyhoo, it was in the middle of the night, and I heard that little sucker scraping around in there and it was making me nuts. I got the bright idea to get the turkey seasoning injector, kinda like a big hypodermic needle, ...fill it with ammonia...and stick it through the ceiling drywall and spray it into that space, hoping to chase him outta there. The wife wakes up, with me standing on the bed, with this large hypodermic needle stuck through the ceiling and rotating it as I was spraying.....She says..."What the hell are you doing?"

It took a bit to make her understand. Was kinda funny though. (Didn't work)

I eventually ended up tearing out the entire ceiling,....blocking out the spots where I thought he may get in with metal lathe, then insulating and replacing the drywall.

Went over the entire exterior with a fine tooth comb and blocked any potential entrances. That worked.

 

 

LOL I'm imagining waking up from a sound sleep and trying to understand your explanation.......

YOU'RE DOING WHAT??????????

[Dragonslayer]

I've made a squirrel head shot with a .357. It just takes 5 years of 8,000 rounds per year of practice first.

The trick is to get it while it is still outside, saves on roof repairs. The other advantage of a 357 over a pellet gun is that the squirrel can not hide behind a stick, well he can but it won't matter.

 

 

Dang, I sure do wish I could still shoot like that...................

 

Then there was that time when I had hanging bats in the attic at the gable vent. The County Extention Service suggested throwing moth balls in the attic to drive them out. While that did not drive out the bats it did make my house remind me of my grandmother. After getting sick of the smell of bat droppings and moth balls I ramped up the weaponry to a 410 shotgun. That did do the trick on the bats and the end of the roof gable vent........Oh well... something had to give.

[Dragonslayer]

I've seen a few fox squirrels in my hunting days as a kid. Even killed a couple of them while hunting squirrels. They were really tough to kill. One of the 3 our dog treed jumped from the top of a pine tree to the ground and escaped. I regret killing those two because they are so rare. Wouldn't do it now for sure. Their fur was reddish tinted, how they got the name I suppose. I'm not sure a pellet gun will kill one.

 

In Georgia I've seen then in all color ranges from solid black to solid white and everything in between.

[Dragonslayer]

If there are babies I would worry they will die without mom, and smell up everything.

Now if I was a liberal I would say that squirrel has a right to live off you

But I am not, and currently we are lucky to live in a place where blasting him with a shotgun or rat shot would be legal and fun

 

We have pecan trees down here, one of the farmers pays me to go and shoot squirrels, plus give me the 12 shotgun shells. That is just as good, my job pays for mileage, I get paid to ride my motorcycle. Does life get better.

Life could get better if I but a dirt bike, with a shotgun holder on it that would hold a good semiauto 12 gage and I could ride up and down the trees shooting, or falling off killing myself LOL

 

Being middle of the road politically I say "Put a have-a heart trap baited with peanut butter in the attic, once you have caught him, THEN gently take him out side to a nice open area, load your shotgun , open the trap and give him a two second head start."

[kevin-vic-b.c.]

If there are babies I would worry they will die without mom, and smell up everything.

Now if I was a liberal I would say that squirrel has a right to live off you

But I am not, and currently we are lucky to live in a place where blasting him with a shotgun or rat shot would be legal and fun

 

We have pecan trees down here, one of the farmers pays me to go and shoot squirrels, plus give me the 12 shotgun shells. That is just as good, my job pays for mileage, I get paid to ride my motorcycle. Does life get better.

Life could get better if I but a dirt bike, with a shotgun holder on it that would hold a good semiauto 12 gage and I could ride up and down the trees shooting, or falling off killing myself LOL

 

Thanks Liberal Larry but I have two adult sons and their dogs living off me, so sorry but if not blood relative they ain't not moving in.

[kevin-vic-b.c.]

In Georgia I've seen then in all color ranges from solid black to solid white and everything in between.

 

I don't care what color they are they are not moving into my house.

[Sailor]

Had otter move into my sailboat. Otters make skunks smell nice. I got ammonium cleaner and chlorine cleaner and mixed them together and put the bucket in the boat. They were gone the next day.

[Dragonslayer]

Had otter move into my sailboat. Otters make skunks smell nice. I got ammonium cleaner and chlorine cleaner and mixed them together and put the bucket in the boat. They were gone the next day.

 

Mixing chemicals ....I Don't know sometimes they explode if you ain't mixing the right stuff.

[Sailor]

You are right. Mixing chlorine and ammonium creates a highly toxic gas with a strong aroma. I put a bucket into the cabin then sat outside while I poured the liquids into it then shut the cabin door. One of the cleaners at work mixed the wrong cleaning chemicals and blew up a toilet.