Prayers requested

[Freebird]

Last Monday, March 7th, I was getting ready to head off to wherever to start my work week when I received a call that my mother in NE Texas was quickly fading from this world. I checked on airline flights and etc. but due to the timing and the expense of a last minute flight, I decided to make the drive. So I immediately threw some things in the car and headed to Texas. It was about a 1100 mile drive, 16 hours or so, and I planned to drive straight through.

 

I didn't make it in time. I received the call later in the afternoon that mom had passed. She was 82 years old but we had no indication that there were any serious health issues and the women on her side of the family usually live into their late 90s at least. So in spite of her age, it was very unexpected.

 

For some reason I felt the need to keep on driving in spite of knowing that I was too late. Around midnight though, I was having a hard time staying awake behind the wheel so did the smart thing and got a room in Little Rock, Arkansas for about 4 hours. Me killing myself or somebody else on the road was not going to change things for the better.

 

I got to Mt. Pleasant, TX around 9:00 on Tuesday morning. Went to the funeral home and helped make the arrangements and etc. Eileen happened to already be in Texas, in Granbury visiting her son, daughter in law and grandkids. So on Wednesday I drove to Granbury to pick her up so that she could go with me to the funeral on Thursday. It was a small graveside ceremony as my mom had always said that she wanted.

 

I ask your prayers because I am having a difficult time with this. Not that my mom passed away, I know that we all will sooner or later. The thing is, my mother was a loving and caring mother when we were growing up. She deeply loved me, my brother and my sister. I guess I would have to say that she was the over protective type. She loved us to the extreme and though we certainly got our share of spankings, at least I did, she was the type that thought that her kids could do no real wrong. We weren't rich but her and dad provided for us and we were never hungry on in need of anything important.

 

Over the past few years though, mom became a different person. Spiteful, hateful, just not always a pleasant person to be around. Over the past week people have been very kind. Telling me the usual things like "you now have another angel looking over you"....that type of thing. The problem is, I don't know if it's true. I'm having a hard time with this because I honestly don't know if mom was a Christian or not. I have no idea. We never went to church very much and usually only on the major Christian holidays. I never remember her talking much about church, God, Jesus or salvation. My aunt says that she remembers a time that mom professed her acceptance of the Lord but if so, it was long before I could comprehend it. Maybe before I was born. I just don't know. As a Christian it's the most important thing to me that I believe that my loved ones are with the Lord after they pass from this world. It is something that I can't know and will have to live with.

 

I feel guilty and ashamed that I don't know the answer to those questions. That I never talked to mom about it and knew where she was in her spiritual life. It is something that I will simply have to live with until I too leave this world. I didn't visit her as often as I should have over the past few years primarily because she was difficult to be around. I should have done so anyway. I should have just accepted her as she was and tried to find a way to bring some happiness to her life. I can only pray now that she has found the peace that so often eluded her during her time here on Earth.

 

She was my mother. I did love her and I thank her for the caring person that I remembered from our youth. If you are one who believes in the promise of life after death, please say a prayer for her and for our family.

 

I am back home now. Got home late Saturday evening. The world seems a little different now but I know that things will get back to normal soon enough. If there is a loved on in your life that you care about but somewhat avoid for whatever reasons, try to find it in your heart to make amends and be there for them even if it's difficult. We never know how much time we have left to show them that we do love them.

Edited March 15, 2016 by Freebird

[Eck]

By the words you have spoken, one can tell you are already one the road to healing. When my dad passed 5 years ago, (March 11th, 2011), I went through the same feelings and thoughts. He had a mean streak in him and he beat the heck out of my brother and I. The kids in the neighborhood called him Kong. He was a very verbal abuser to all of us. I grew up deeply hating him. After I grew up I realized no matter how mean he was he was always there. Every single time I needed help he was there. Over the years I closed Pandora's box and tried to forgive him for the many bad things he did in my life and we grew closer. He left this world and I really don't know myself if he ever got saved, or if he only proclaimed Christ in his last breath. He was a good man as far as taking care of our family. We were never rich either, and we did have somewhat of a good family life, as long as my brother, sister, mother and I all agreed with him. You can look at people every day and even after speaking to them, leave wondering if they are truly saved. When it comes down to it, only Christ and that particular loved one know the answer to that question.

 

My prayers have been sent for you and your family my friend.

[Marcarl]

Prayers for you are always on the way,, sorry, just can't help being thankful for you.

It's interesting that your mother took a change later in life. I suppose it happens more often, I'm no expert on the matter so really don't know for sure. What I do know is that there is a constant struggle between good and the evil one and I might philosophize that this could have been happening with your mother. If this were true then there was a battle going on for her and I really don't don't need to be telling you Who the winner would be. During Yesuha's last hours a thief said to Him: remember me, and at the last moment he avoided the darkness. Can't say for your mother, but you can ask for peace with it all, and it will be yours.

That we should waste no time with reconciliation is a for-sure, for we never, ever, never know when either of the parties involved reach the gate of eternity, and then time stops!!

Blessings, for you and yours, and may the peace of the Almighty rest on you.

[Larry1963]

I will be praying that GOD's grace and mercy overcome you, and HE will give you understanding.

 

Remember this, that GOD's grace and mercy is more than we can ever understand. HIS love is wider and deeper than we can understand. Put your trust in HIM and not your own understanding.

 

As for the last few years you said she had become less loving. My mom died last May, she was the kindest person I knew, she never seen fault in anyone, she never seen color either, she loved everyone. However her last couple years were the same. For some, dementia (brain fades with age) takes over and they get confused more, and it frustrates them. You know how frustrating it is to know someone, have their name on the tip of your tongue but for the life of you, you cannot remember. Many older people live like this the last days of their lives. They know they should know but they can't quite remember. Forget the past, remember the good in her, the great times, and even some of the well deserved butt whippings. Make sure your life is right before the LORD and look forward to the day when you will be reunited with her.

 

Romans 8:28 All things work for the glory of GOD for those who love HIM.

[Trader]

Over the past few years though, mom became a different person. Spiteful, hateful, just not always a pleasant person to be around. Over the past week people have been very kind. Telling me the usual things like "you now have another angel looking over you"....that type of thing. The problem is, I don't know if it's true. I'm having a hard time with this because I honestly don't know if mom was a Christian or not. I have no idea. As a Christian it's the most important thing to me that I believe that my loved ones are with the Lord after they pass from this world. It is something that I can't know and will have to live with?

 

Don, I expressed my condolences in the other thread but I wanted to address you concerns in the above paragraph.

2Tim.3:16 tells us ALL scripture is from God.

Titus 1:2 tells us that God cannot lie.

So you can be comforted by John 5:28,29 that promises that there will be a resurrection of all those in the grave.

Our loving Heavenly Father does not condem us for what we do in our imperfect state. We are incapable of fully pleasing him because of our inherited sin and the influence of Satan.

But, Satan will be abyssed during Christ's 1000 year reign.

Then comes the resurrection and we regain the perfect life that Adam threw away.

 

Only then, after we have regained perfection, Satan will be released and a final test will be put upon us.

Thats when Psalms 37:10,11 will be fulfilled.

 

Have no fear my friend!

Your Mother is held securely in God's memory, she is not suffering or even conscious of anything. (Ecclesiastes 9:5) and YOU WILL SEE AGAIN.

 

Don, you have questions and concerns...I know you are alone in hotels quite often. Take some time to find

answers that make sense.

Many religious teachings raise more question than answers.

 

I Know that when you get answers to questions like "Where are the dead?" or "What is Hell" you will find great comfort.

 

I searched for many years for answers that made sense..I went to many different faiths and their churches looking for answers.

 

Next time one of Jehovah's Witnesses call, or you pass one of their carts, ask for a copy of "What Does the the Bible REALLY Teach?"

You can also find that book in PDF format or audio file along with hundreds more, in over 600 languages on the website http://www.jw.org

 

PLEASE check it out and once you have scriptural answers to your questions I know you will find comfort.

[cowpuc]

Wow brother,, want you and your family to know that each of you have our deep condolences and that Tip and I will be praying for you during this very difficult time my friend. Indeed, PRAYERS UP AND BLESSINGS DOWN!

Like most folks, I/we have had to deal with death within our family on several different occasions. Gotta tell you Don, I have seen the same spirit which your Mom displayed during the end of her life play out many times over - not trying to make excuses or nothing like that but that is really not that uncommon. I have watched loved ones who loved the Lord with everything they were, would never swear and never had a bad word to say about anyone turn into the most foul mouthed, hateful person one could even imagine. Dementia and Alsymer inflictions are known to create such terrible things but I have a hunch if a person suffers silently with chronic pain that can cause it too (inspite of modern day drug care).. Its a horrible thing to witness!! One of the things that has really helped me personally in working thru the grieving process in dealing with such a situation (have been thru it a few times in the last few years) is to focus on who that person really was when they were themselves.

While not being that much of a religious expert or nothing like that, I have read through the Bible, studied it quite a bit and it is still my favorite book of all times because it is real life/flat out TRUTH from start to finish. There are many many opinions and ideas of the Word of God, how to apply it to life and all that. I am one who takes it literally and wholly and I accept the promises and covenants found therein at face value - crazy but I actually believe the Bible stories of the flood, David and Goliath, the parting of the Red Sea and all those "stories". I am also one who still believes that God is real and so are his promises.

Cant give you exact references without looking them up brother but one set of those promises reads something like this:

I am persuaded that neither life or death or angels or powers or principalities or things present or things to come or height or depth or any creature can separate us from the Love of God which we have because of Jesus Christ our Lord. For me, that passage speaks firmly and solidly of just how deep, secure and permanent God's promise of salvation is to those who have accepted his Son as God in the flesh and has takin His free gift of forgiveness and salvation and brother - I LIVE by that passage and those promises. I have found by doing so it solves a lot of questions that roll around in my pea brain when faced with situations like you are dealing with.

You mentioned in your letter to us that your Aunt recalls the day when your Mom accepted the Lord and professed Him. To my understanding from reading God's Word, THAT is the beginning of the process of a person being found fully secured and vetted as one of God's own and having full access to the promise that God Himself made in the verse I quoted earlier - fact is brother, doesnt matter what happened between the day when your Mom accepted the Lord and the day she passed away - once her name was written in the Lamb's Book of Life,, its there permanently and she is part of the great cloud of witnesses that are watching over you and GLOWING a heavenly glow because she is going to get to see you standing by her in the presence of the Lord someday..

I want you to know something Don, I gladly clicked the "Thanks" icon after reading the story about your Mom's passing because I am HONORED to have gotten to be part of sharing your grief and possibly be an encouragement to you - THANK YOU again for sharing it all with us and for encouraging us to grow from your experience!!

That little "Like" icon was a different story though.. I most certainly DO NOT like to hear about my dear brother being in grief and I want you to know that.. The reason I clicked on "Like" is because of the part in the story where your Aunt remembers your Mom accepting the Lord and hearing of what kind of a Mom she was.. She certainly sounds like she did her part in raising her children properly, she didnt abandon you kids like so many parents do these days, she spent her life teaching her children to be decent people and corrected them when they did wrong - SHE was a REAL Mom and THAT I "Like" brother!! I also "like" (LOVE) rejoicing with the Angels in Heaven because another one of God's children are with God Himself and have escaped the sting of death!!

 

Love you Freebird and you have those prayers you asked for!

Puc

Edited March 15, 2016 by cowpuc

[Drews]

PAYERS yes & thank you Don for sharing your life with us

[Yammer Dan]

Rereading some old ones tonight. Knee Mail was sent back when needed but forgot to post. Bet that didn't make much difference with "Him" Few extras sent tonight. Prayers Up!!!

[BlueSky]

Really sorry for your loss. Her health in her final years probably caused the change in her personality.

 

Don't the airlines give you a break on the tickets for bereavement? I thought they did. But, I haven't flown as much since my last contract job in FL that ended in Aug 2013.

[orlean1]

God speed to you my friend. I'm very sorry about your loss. Its hard losing a parent.

[Venture n Dixie]

Thanks for resurrecting this thread. Good timing. Relieving my brother every other weekend to stay with mom. At 91 she's ready to go & has no motivation to live. She's been active in church all her life yet here in the final stretch the negativity is overwhelming. It's encouraging to hear some of my brothers speak truth, strength & faith.