Sad Day.....:(

[Great White]

It started last night when I was told a former subordinate/co-worker/friend had passed.

 

Sad enough on it's own and I was hoping he had a massive stroke or something.

 

I was hoping it was a stroke because I had been part of an intervention for the lad a few years ago. He had made an unsuccessful attempt and I was with him in the hospital that night. I also was part of his return to work and support for him during work.

 

Just before we moved away he came to my shop thanked me for my efforts with him and stated of all the people he had worked with/for at my rank, I was the only one he had ever had any respect for or found of any worth. I was speechless and it was a significant life moment for me. In my line of work, it's not very often another man will feel moved enough to actually verbalize it to another man. Part of the "Machismo" culture we operate in I guess. That was earlier this year.

 

Today, I found out that it was another attempt and though I hesitate to use this word, it was "successful" this time. He used the same method as before.

 

He was a kind soul, literally a mountain of a man (7 feet) and a teddy bear that wouldn't hurt a fly. Big enough to literally snap a man in half if he wanted to, but he was nothing more than a "gentle giant".

 

I feel for his wife and stepchild (who I also know and had "helped" through the last event), one of which most likely found him. Another reason I was hoping it was a massive stroke scenario. It's one thing to find a loved one dead from something like a stroke, it's quite another to find them by their own hand. It just piles a load of extra unwanted emotions on top of the normal ones you have with a death in the family.

 

My feelings are very tumultuous. Sadness, loss, failure, and a few I don't think I can even identify.

 

Death is something I deal with and live with every day.

 

But it's a shock to the soul when it is something like this though. I guess because I feel I had such an "investment" with him and that he had felt enough respect for me to actually verbalize how much my concern for him had moved him.

 

So sad, so terribly, terribly sad.

 

Still waiting to hear where the services will be. I will be attending if I can.

 

Nothing more I can do now but help them grieve.....I hope my friend has found peace.

[cecdoo]

Sorry for your loss, I have been there, but dont really know anything I can say that will help. A permanent solution to a temporary problem...

 

Craig

[slowrollwv]

GW I am sorry to hear this. Prayers sent to you, your family and his. It is hard to loose a friend and coworker.

[bill in mn]

Your a good man Sir.

[videoarizona]

GW, Prayers Up to the family and to you....in the loss of your friend.

[saddlebum]

Very Sad story I often wonder what drives a person to such extreme measure's. I usually succumb to the notion that it is today's world that is the culprit. I have had a similar experience as a client of mine who became a close friend also gave up on life, as well as two of my daughters close friends. It really is a shame and I hope and pray that some day the world will become a better place for all, so that struggling souls do not feel the need to leave.

[Great White]

Your a good man Sir.

 

Thank you. That is a very high compliment where I come from.

[Great White]

Very Sad story I often wonder what drives a person to such extreme measure's. I usually succumb to the notion that it is today's world that is the culprit. I have had a similar experience as a client of mine who became a close friend also gave up on life, as well as two of my daughters close friends. It really is a shame and I hope and pray that some day the world will become a better place for all, so that struggling souls do not feel the need to leave.

 

It's different for everyone. Whatever the reason, someone just seems to get in a place of hopelessness and all they know is they want the pain to stop and to escape.

 

You just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other and wake up the next morning. That's what I tell myself when I get in those places: just gotta make it to the next sunrise....

[Marcarl]

There is one thing that everybody needs, and if we loose that, then life is at it's end,,,,, I speak from experience!

We can have all the food and water we want, live in the the best house, drive the nicest car, have a full bank account (what ever that means), have a very beautiful wife or totally handsome husband, travel the world and spend lots of time on vacation, have good kids,, and what ever else might be on your 'bucket list'.

But if you don't have love,,, yes love!!!! you have nothing and life will not be worth living. Somewhere, somehow a person needs to be loved and to be able to love in return. This is not something that we normally see or choose to discover. We look at the material things a person has around them, but often fail to discover the mental part that is love.

Not saying that is where your friend was in life, there are other reasons to call it quits, but many times that is the issue.

Real love can only be found in one place, I can tell you, but you'll have to send me a PM to get the answer, or ask Freebird.

With love we can move mountains so to speak, the world might crash around us, but if we have love,,,,,, we can manage and get through the toughest times, if we want.

[easternrider]

Sorry to hear of your loss. I have never gone through something like this, and hope to never have to. I can only imagine how terrible it must be. Take care.

[GAWildKat]

Love sometimes isn't enough either. My husband will move mountains to make sure I know it too and always has. But life can sometimes kick you down enough for long enough that it seems you can never climb back out of the hell you are in. Even antidepressants sometimes aren't even enough to overcome it either. I never attempted suicide, but I walked the knife's edge for almost 10 yrs. My personal life was hell and in shambles. I didn't think it would ever improve either. Too many people passed judgement based on what they heard then and never really understood the hell we were living. Even my judgemental inlaws more or less wrote us off. Even when we tell the truth my mother in law can't accept it and asks the same thing each time she speaks to Mike. Depression if you have never experienced it sucks. Add PTSD in and life is just down right scary. I was diagnosed with PTSD after my exhusband and I divorced, yes, he was abusive. But my therapist realized it was deeper than just him. I had been emotionally and verbally abused growing up and there were real problems between my mother and me that lasted. I'm better now and don't need the meds anymore. I don't wake in the middle of the night having panic attacks anymore. And life is better now. But it's not easy.

[cowpuc]

Nobility, kindness and thoughtfulness come in many fashions GW, I think the actions you took toward your fellow man are another perfect example of what I am talking about brother. I also think your last comment about helping his loved ones work thru the grieving process also demonstrate the type of person we should all strive to be, thank you for being there for them.

I know it has got to be very difficult but please know Tip n I are sending our Prayers Up for you and this person's loved ones my friend.

IMHO, there are many things that can cause depression so deep that a person would take their own life. Everything from extensive lack of love - sheer loneliness , a person's inability to forgive others and himself/herself, inability to recognize the spiritual side of man, physical pain, hormonal imbalances and on and on.. It is always inspiring for me to read of friends of mine like yourself who do the noble thing of reaching out to people like your friend regardless of what the root cause was. May your friend rest in peace and may his family/friends find nothing but the richest blessings possible thru your continued support Great White!

 

Condolences

Puc n Tip