Young children as passengers

[Brenner]

I have spent an enormous amount of time crossing this country on a motorcycle with my kids in tow since they were very young. Our lives have been positively and deeply affected by these adventures in ways that many people can only dream of. For some reason, when the interplay that happens between a rider and his motorcycle includes a willing child - magic happens!! Now if you spread that thought across the natural, almost divine, connection between a Father and his daughter (my son rode many miles with me too but it seems like there is something different about the connection between a Dad and his daughter(s) ) amazing relationships are born!! I say all of that so you, Brenner, understand that I REALLY do understand what this whole thread is all about!!

As hard as this is for me to say, and NOTHING against you or anybody else, knowing what I know about road tripping on a motorcycle with a young girl in tow,, I would advise against it as long as it involved a girl child who was not my actual daughter.. There are just way to many things that can happen.

An area of concern, IMHO, are how Laws and Law Enforcement have gotten so sticky over the years. An example of this is it used to be that if a person on a bike had to go pee pee really bad, you could just pull off the road, find a tree and go.. Now adays, if the wrong person see's you, and wants to cause you some BIG trouble, they can and they do!! That goes for children in your custody too - they do the "crime" - you do the time!! I have heard of folks now being placed on the "Sexual Offenders" list just because their young child went pee pee outside and when questioned about it, mentioned that he had seen his Daddy do this with his Dad ending up with some healthy legal bills and a quick trip to the list.. If something like this happened and you had a child (especially of the girl type and she was not your daughter) with you,, Lord only knows what might happen.. This is just the tip of the ice berg of things that I see having the potential of happening Bren.. Please KNOW that I am NOT implying anything wrong in what you are suggesting - I TOTALLY get it..

Now if we were talking about you adding a side car, taking the child AND your wife along on a cross country tour.. HECK YEA!!!!!

All that said,, THAT is just my opinion! If you decide that you are going forward with the ride,, remember that children dont see things like you and I. Cater the rides to her liking, I used to place an old couch cushion between my kids and I when they were little. Then I would lean against it and it would hold them clamped in place. You can get creative with a cushion - cut it to the correct height it can have "pockets" sliced in it for packs of Green Skiddles and Gummy Worms (if my daughters were sitting here next me reading this they would start crying from the memories of this - HAPPY TEARS) and even a place for a water bottle and her very own cheap little digital camera. My kids would sleep for hours back there with either their head laying on the edge of the cushion or leaned back on the bedroll on top of the truck, (thankfully) we never even had a near miss.. Personally, I have always been one that likes to lean on my riders - I like the contact because it constantly lets me know what they are doing.. Perhaps that is one of the really great things I LOVE about my 1st Gens is that they actually seem to have a little less room between riders and seem a little more conducive to leaning on each other instead of using a back rest..

This is a good thread - THANKS for having the guts to post it up - LOTS TO THINK ABOUT!!

 

 

Puc, thank you for the sound advice. I never had any intentions of day trips but rather a trip maybe an hour or so long. Yes you are 110% correct on the way the world sees things and that the interest of the child will not be the same as mine. I understand the bathroom situation as I have been there waiting outside for my nieces to come out and yes it might not look right. My nieces and nephews from both my wife's sisters never had any father figure and I suppose in a way I stepped up to try to fill that role. I have been lucky and successful so far but all that could change. Believe it or not I do babysit my god child when asked and have had her in my car for a day at a time and no one looks the wrong way when I drive my car but yes they might not be so understanding on a motorcycle. I think you have set me straight and will limit her rides to around the city when mom and dad are at home and close at hand but not until I am comfortable with my new ride. No point in trying to be nice when you can be in trouble for it. I just feel the child deserves more attention than she receives at home. I hope when she grows up she does not turn to drugs or pregnancy due to her parents lack of attention. I remember the day she was born, her moms water broke and when they tried to go to the hospital their car would not start so I drove them in and stuck around. Her father was a stranger to me 10 years ago and I helped him a lot through tough times in life and we became like brothers which resulted me in being a god parent. He has no family locally (newfoundland) and I keep to myself. The mother came from another province (quebec) so none of her family is around so we kinda have our own family together all of us. I want to do for her what I have done for my wife's family as she always makes her way to me when she knows I am outside. I grew up without friends and from a broken marriage and lets just say things were not nice so if I can make her world a little brighter why would I not try. I fully understand and agree with what you have stated. Lots of sick people out there and I do my best to keep her safe. I treat her as if she were mine even though I chose not to have children myself and try to keep a close eye on her even more so than her parents. Paperwork and lawyers stipulate that if her parents are lost my wife and I are guardians. She is always around me and not like a parents friend but have been uncle since the day she was born. She comes home from school with mom and if she sees me runs right up for a hug. It is a nice feeling and I do not want to jeapordize that. Food for thought for me...

[cowpuc]

Awesome and GOOD ON YA for having the foresight into the long term affect of having a child not getting the attention they need and deserve :clap2: THAT is a heart breaker and, if I were in your shoes, I would be on the same track you are on Bren!! My initial response was one from seeing you head cross country with her on board - TOTALLY a different situation than what you wrote above with farrrrr fewer issues waiting to pop up!!

It sounds like you have a pretty good grip on a solid relationship with her parents, especially being a God Parent and all.. There is this thing that I discovered many years ago in dealing with people, called being transparent. It can be difficult at times (usually cause it involves a little deeper communications and not everyone is a communicator) to be transparent BUT, it seems like when I am - it dismantles a lot of natural threats and stuff.. Maybe a really good heart to heart talk with the 7 year olds parents disclosing some of your concerns and, in a completely non-judgmental way, letting them know that you would like to be able to initiate a deeper Father/Daughter relationship with her..

I will NEVER forget those years with my own girls Bren.. They spent HOURS at my shop while I was spinning wrenches in the evening. My first born (daughter) would climb up in my tall bench chair and contemplate the universe and talk my ear off - now she is a school teacher in California. My second born (daughter) was the hands on type - she ended being one of the best carb mechanics I ever had work for me and went from there to Med School and is now an MD. Both of them started REALLY showing the sign of their "bent" in life around that age of 7 years old -its interesting that that is the age of the little girl we are talking about!!

[gez]

I routinely ride with my 10 year old grandson. Both his parents work and I'm often in charge of his after school care. Two or three days a week I pick him up at the school bus stop on the bike. Connor will often ask to be picked up tomorrow on the big motorcycle (RSV). He seems to prefer that over the Road Star. Over the past year, he has developed into the perfect passenger. He always holds on to me in some fashion. He knows not to get on or off unless told, sits perfectly still when necessary and realizes the burn potential. He is proud of his riding outfit; helmet, gloves, sun glasses, jeans and jacket. Usually our rides are short,

 

Connor has been involved in a hippotherapy program for six years. I know his horseback riding has helped with his interaction on a motorcycle. Recently, Connor has earned two blue ribbons, two reds and a yellow in Special Olympic competitions. Connor has Down's Syndrome