greg_in_london Posted December 27, 2014 #1 Posted December 27, 2014 Well it's only been a couple of days, but those awful jokes in Christmas crackers have mercifully faded from the memory fairly quickly. One or two are still lodged in my mind though.... What game do ghosts play at parties ?............................ haunt and seek. What do ducks do before Christmas dinner ? ................... they pull quackers. What do you sing for a snowman on his birthday ?............ freeze a jolly good fellow. What did one snowman say to another ? ......................... can you smell carrots ? Two cannibals were eating a clown, one said ..................... does this smell funny to you ? There are thousands of these blooming jokes and hardly any are funny, but that's the point I suppose - so everyone groans, or pretends to find them funny when the children read them, and no-one gets to sound too clever. Do you have these too ?
Freebird Posted December 27, 2014 #2 Posted December 27, 2014 I am very happy to say that I have no seen them here.
Flyinfool Posted December 28, 2014 #3 Posted December 28, 2014 Must be sumpin from the other side of the pond.
Yammer Dan Posted December 28, 2014 #4 Posted December 28, 2014 How does a Elephant climb a Oak tree? Sits on a acorn and waits for it to grow!!!
Eck Posted December 28, 2014 #5 Posted December 28, 2014 Must be sumpin from the other side of the pond. I was thinking the same thing.. Must be in the water ...or in the "drinks"..
greg_in_london Posted December 28, 2014 Author #6 Posted December 28, 2014 You have Christmas dinner without Christmas crackers ? Next you'll be telling me that you don't have brussel sprouts or pigs in blankets... Or that your Mum doesn't listen to the Queen's speech.
Eck Posted December 28, 2014 #7 Posted December 28, 2014 You have Christmas dinner without Christmas crackers ? Next you'll be telling me that you don't have brussel sprouts or pigs in blankets... Or that your Mum doesn't listen to the Queen's speech. Pigs in the blanket are my favorite!!! The Brussel sprouts you can keep.....!!
greg_in_london Posted December 31, 2014 Author #9 Posted December 31, 2014 I didn't take any pictures of crackers this year - this is one from a newspaper of two kids pulling a cracker. Basically it is a paper or card - covered tube which two people pull from opposite ends. One other other end will tear first and there is a small 'cap' inside which goes bang as the two parts split. Inside there is a paper hat, a small toy, novelty or puzzle and a piece of paper with a joke on. The jokes are always 'clean', but generally pretty rubbish.
Atoolnut Posted December 31, 2014 #10 Posted December 31, 2014 always get them here in canada..get them from wally mart...old english traditon just like christmas pud with custard..
Wizard765 Posted December 31, 2014 #11 Posted December 31, 2014 or roast beef and yorkshire pudding... or maybe steak and kidney pie.. better yet my favourite would be Trifle
OutKast Posted January 1, 2015 #12 Posted January 1, 2015 ha ha ha. in my mind i pictured a saltine cracker with a piece of paper inside, like a fortune cookie. ha ha
KSRIDER10 Posted January 1, 2015 #13 Posted January 1, 2015 Cannibals don't eat clowns because...they taste funny. Happy New Year!
greg_in_london Posted January 1, 2015 Author #14 Posted January 1, 2015 You wouldn't be having roast beef and yorkshire pudding or steak and kidney pie for a traditional Christmas dinner - that has to be Roast Turkey (or goose), stuffing, roast potatoes, carrots, parsnips, brussel sprouts - always brussel sprouts - and maybe pigs in blankets and gravy, plus maybe cranberry sauce - nothing too heavy, all followed with cheese and biscuits, mince pies, christmas (or plum) pudding and custard, cream and/or ice cream, washed down with some wine, maybe a beer, possibly a spirit of choice and a coffee at some point. Just a light snack really...
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