Long overdue explanation

[Freebird]

I know that when I cancelled Maintenance Day that most of you wondered and/or had suspicions about why I would have done so. Those of you who have attended know that it's a weekend that Eileen and I truly enjoy hosting and look forward to every year.

 

I feel that it's time to come clean with you all. I consider many of you family and though there are some things that must be kept private, it is fair to tell you some of what had and has transpired.

 

After being together for about 20 years and married from more than 18 years, Eileen and I reached a very difficult time in our relationship. There are a lot of things that led up to it and I won't go into the private details. The bottom line is that we ended up separating for a brief period and then even when together, most of our discussions were in regard to how to best end our marriage. For a while, it seemed that divorce was certainly the likely outcome.

 

When I met Eileen about 20 years ago, I truly felt that she was a gift from God and one that I would always love and felt that it would be my duty and honor to take care of for the rest of our lives. As in all of our lives, a lot of things tried to interfere with that and though many of them were outside our our control, they still slowly chipped away at the foundation of our marriage and until finally it was quickly crumbling away. Though I have been a Christian for many years, I had lost the close relationship that I once had with my Lord and arrogantly thought that I was able to deal with such things without him.

 

The fact is though, after much talking and crying and praying, we both finally realized that what we have is real and our marriage was sanctioned by God and nothing should tear it down. We have talked about a lot of issues and managed to resolve a lot of things over the past days. I know that not all of you here are Christians and I'm not trying to ram my beliefs down anybodies throats so please understand that it is not my purpose to do that but those beliefs played such a major role in our reconciliation that I can't tell you about this and not include it in the story.

 

The fact is, we do believe that God brought us together. We also know that God has been with us on our 20 year walk together but at some point, I slowly allowed him to be less and less important in our lives...at least in my own life. I know now that only though a daily dialog with him and truly seeking his guidance and strength can I be the kind of husband that he would have me be. That is what I want and that is what Eileen desires and deserves from me.

 

So things are good now. We will continue talking and praying and restoring what we lost but with God's help and guidance, we are becoming stronger and closer than we ever have been. We have decided to renew our vows and are both looking forward to doing so. Haven't set a date for that yet but it will be very soon. Please don't feel left out but it will be a very small and private ceremony with only a handful of close family members present.

 

So now you have it. For some, this is just a confirmation of what you already suspected. For others, it may come as a complete surprise. Either way, we ask for your prayers as we move forward in our lives and if you are not one who is inclined to pray then just your best wishes are welcome also.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

Don

Edited March 28, 2014 by Freebird

[BlueBeard]

Philippians 4:13

I can do all this through him who gives me strength

Glad to hear your good news.

[Flyinfool]

I'm very glad to hear that you and Eileen have worked things out for the better.

[Bubber]

God bless you and your wife and God's speed on your journey.

From a friend you have never met.

 

Steve

aka Bubber

[Yammer Dan]

Divorce: The ugliest word in any language. Sitting down looking at each other and asking "Why did we do this in the beginning" is the answer to a lot. Few take the time to do that. It is just the way we are. Throw it away!! Not the best plan sometimes. GOOD LUCK!! I will agree you two belong together.

[bongobobny]

Although seemingly associated with funerals, Davids Psalm 23 is more a psalm for the living and contains great wisdom on how to live day by day! First let me congratulate you both on turning to the Lord in times of conflict. After 2 failed marriages I know that they failed all due to the lack of the third member of the relationship, our Lord and Savior Jesus. Becky, who was also married 2 times before, and I will be celebrating our 25th year of Holy matrimony this fall. Recognizing who is the real boss in our marriage to us has made the difference. I would be a liar if I said we never argue but God is the glue that keeps us together and sees us through the hard times!!

 

This may sound strange but I am relieved to hear it was marital problems and not serious health issues. We were afraid that you may have lost your vision, Eileen or you developed cancer, or someone in one of your families passed on, or that you lost your job, etc! The fact that you two are working out your issues is great news!! It shows strength and character in both of you!

 

Don, you have many many friends here and any of us would be more than happy to do anything for you even if it is just to talk. Feel free to turn to any of us!

[Squidley]

Only a few words that I need to say, you are my brother and Eileen is my sister. Lonna and I love you both very much and are so relieved to hear that you both have been able to work through this. We look forward to many more years of happiness for you both, and that we can continue to share our lives with you. Thank you for being the mentor and man that you are.

[dingy]

Well, maybe everybody in the family wasn't happy about getting a Harley !!

Gary

[kbran]

Our prayer are with you Don. So glad that you two are working things out. May God bless and keep you both.

[BigLenny]

Don,

 

Thank you so much for sharing. I know it took a lot of courage to open up to us.

 

I am so excited to hear you both are committed to working on your realtionship, and that you clearly understand that it is impossible without a close relationship with our loving Father.

 

Your experience mirrors the story of me and my wife. 20 years ago we had came to the same separation conclusion, and I had became so full of myself that I had set my relationship with God to the side. We were separated for 9 months, and had started the legal process of divorcing. I won't bore you with the details, but it was only after we turned back to God (it was mainly me that had to make that change, she never left the Lord), were we able to put our marriage back together and now live the beautiful life God had put us together in the first place for. We're 31 years now and are sooooo thankfull we did not continue down the road of divorce.

 

You can do this. You know it won't always be easy, but if you maintain an honest open realtionship with each other, and God, you will make it.

 

I'm praying for you.

[Snaggletooth]

I'm with Bongo. This is much better news than what issues had been lurking in my mind.

 

Bless you both for striving to continue on with what you have started.

 

Mike

[wes0778]

As some others have said, I'm glad it is something that can be "worked out" and not a serious health/vision problem! Y'all have been in my prayers since the announced cancellation.

:bighug:

[nance56]

I am so glad that you two are working at this. You are a good match. God will see you through this. Keep the faith and know we are all praying for you two. You both have our prayers.

[Dragonslayer]

Don,

 

I'm not one to make assumptions but, I had a feeling. I'm just glad that it isn't because you were going to bail on this site for a Harley site.

 

I've seen how you act with your wife and have seen the comments posted on face Book and can glean from that how much you love Eileen. I truly believe Love is the glue that holds all things together and as well as the Love Agape from our creator.

 

You and Eileen are loved, liked and respected by our Venture family and I feel I share the emotions of many here when I say: "We have always been here for you if you need us, and we do so respecting your privacy." There will be other times for us to meet & eat together again in the future and I for one truly look forward to that day.

 

Give Eileen a big hug from all of us and God bless you.

 

Bob The Dragonslayer

[Ron Melby]

WOW! what a statement & testimony. Even though I don't know you , I can tell this came from the heart and it took courage to share something like this with others. Don, let me tell you, when I first opened this up, I didn't know how profound the messeage would hit me. Thank you for sharing it, this has made my day, God bless you .

 

Ron Melby in Missouri

[Guest tx2sturgis]

I knew nothing of the situation, but I'm glad you both have worked it out.

 

Quit being such a rascal and maybe she'll let you stay around another 20 years!

 

[BoomerCPO]

Don.....Lucky you....I was getting ready to ship a truckload of pygmies up there to do whatever needed doing.....

Boomer....who sez "Keeping the faith" is more than just words.

[SilvrT]

That's some very personal info you've shared Don, especially here in an open forum. Thank you for that! Relationships and marriage can be a rocky road at times. When two people truly are friends, like each other, have respect for each other, and are in love with each other, it's all worth the effort in the long run.

 

Congrats to you both for realizing those things and being able to work things out!

 

Now when did you say maintenance day is?

[Aussie Annie]

Like some of the other Venture Riders, I too, am glad it was nothing to do with yours' or Eileen's health.

I am so happy for you both that you have found that love that enriches your marriage. I know that the re-newal ceremony will mean a great deal to you both. When Alan and I re-newed our vows it held more meaning than our original service. We have been married for 43years in May, and without The Lord in our lives we would not have made it this far.

We wish you and Eileen much love and happiness for the future.

Without the pressure of organizing for Maintenance Day this year you both have the opportunity to just simply enjoy VR meets etc, if you wish, and ride ride ride .

 

May GOD's Blessings be with you always

Love you both Dearly

[XV1100SE]

... We have decided to renew our vows and are both looking forward to doing so. Haven't set a date for that yet but it will be very soon. Please don't feel left out but it will be a very small and private ceremony with only a handful of close family members present....

 

...Now when did you say maintenance day is?

 

I second that I was worried that it might be a health issue for someone in your family. Although you were considering divorce, I'm glad that the two of you have resolved enough of the issues to renew your vows. Hopefully both of you have seen what could happen if you follow down the old road. Communication is key.

 

As for MD.... if you hadn't said you want your vow renewal to include a handful of people... I would think renewing your vows during MD would be amazing ! Although.... a non-stressful summer is what the two of you could use.... get out on the boat and relax !

[Prairiehammer]

Don, I am relieved to hear that your problem was not health related and I am also relieved to hear that Eileen and you are working it out. Having suffered through two divorces, I know you and Eileen don't want to go there.

 

Here's to a long and happy relationship. Good luck!

 

Thank you for your candor. I can stop worrying now.

[mother]

great news Don, thank you for sharing.

 

sometimes we fall down, but we should always look up.

 

i dont know why it is called marriage, it should be called a test.

 

there are many bumps in the travels together, 30 years for us

 

and boy i have a few bumps on my head.

 

you are two beautiful people with great big hearts.

 

Scott and Sherry

 

[Carbon_One]

My thoughts echo what many have already said. I'm just happy for the both of you in finding and resetting your course in life together. That takes priority over all else on what goes on here. I'm sure many of us can honestly say that we all have at one time or other have gotten sidetracked with our lives. Then getting back again.

God Bless to both of you and that you continue to prosper together.

Larry & Joyce

[cecdoo]

As others have said, I am relieved to hear it wasnt a health related issue. All the best to you two in working on your marriage, Kim and I are both very happy for you.

 

Take care, Craig

[WildBill1]

Well, maybe everybody in the family wasn't happy about getting a Harley !!

 

 

Gary

 

Don, wishing the best to You and Eileen. Anymore Harley's are pretty boring bikes no carb. issues or funny noises coming from the transmission just ride and change oil occasionally. Maintenance Days are a thing of the past.

WildBill