Boudreau

[Venturous Randy]

Boudreau was driving down Canal street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

 

Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of ma life and give up ma White Lightnin'!'

 

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

 

Boudreau looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Father Murphy walks into a bar on Bourbon Street, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

 

The man said, 'I do, Father.'

 

The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'

 

Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

 

'Certainly, Father,' the man replied.

 

'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.

 

Then Father Murphy walked up to Thibodaux and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

 

Thibodaux said, 'No, I don't Father.'

 

The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'

 

Thibodaux said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a bunch together to go right now.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boudreaux was in New Orleans .

 

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

 

He'd done this several times, and Boudreaux still stood on the sidewalk.

 

After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Boudreaux went over to him and said, 'Ain't it 'bout time ya let the Catholics across?'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boudreaux opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Landry.

 

'Did you see the paper?' asked Boudreaux. 'They say I died!!'

 

'Yes, I saw it!' replied Landry. 'Where ya callin' from?'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Parish priest is driving down to New Orleans from Alexandria and gets stopped for speeding . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

 

He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

 

'Just water,' says the priest.

 

The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

 

The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walking into the bar, Boudreaux said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little wife.'

 

'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?'

 

'When it was over,' Boudreaux replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.'

 

'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! ? What did she say?'

 

She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little coward.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Devereaux staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Landry. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Betty Lou.

 

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

 

Managing not to yell, Devereaux sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

 

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

 

In the morning, Devereaux woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Betty Lou staring at him from across the room.

 

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

 

Devereaux said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'

 

'Well,' Betty Lou said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

[Bubber]

Laughed at every darn one of them.

 

Reminded me of Ole jokes and Norwegians.

 

Yah sure don't cha know.

 

Bubber