Gary N. Posted February 10, 2008 #1 Posted February 10, 2008 Well I finally got up the courage to watch the video of Leslie's funeral. I think that's the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I know it seems like a weird thing to do, to video a funeral, but since I wasn't able to attend in person I needed to be able to see it for myself. The next day I went to the cemetery to visit the grave site. I think watching the video made going to the cemetery a little easier but not much. Today I went and looked at my bike for the first time since the accident. I don't know how I managed to survive this. The front wheel is pushed back into the radiator. The gas tank is almost flat on top. The G2 bars are bent. The windshield is gone. The headlight, passing lights and turn signals are gone. The fairing is toast. What a mess.
Redneck Posted February 10, 2008 #2 Posted February 10, 2008 I can't even imagine what you are feeling and I really have no idea how to help. I'm sure time will ease the pain just take it day by day and remember how lucky you were to have her for all those years.
Venturous Randy Posted February 10, 2008 #3 Posted February 10, 2008 Gary, I can not imagine having to go through what you are dealing with. But, sometimes you just do what you gotta do. Even though I never met you and Leslie, it is very obvious from comments here that you had a blessed marriage. I know it will always be a struggle, but you have a lot of folks on here that are standing all around you. Thanks for posting and giving us your thoughts. RandyA
sarges46 Posted February 10, 2008 #5 Posted February 10, 2008 You have the courage to do what you did. I applaud you...as that must have been tough. Like you said though, it was something you had to do.... We have all been deeply touched by this tragedy and miracle at the same time. We are here...always.
Freebird Posted February 10, 2008 #6 Posted February 10, 2008 That had to be about the hardest thing you've ever done Gary. My prayers are certainly with you. I have pictures from a couple of funerals that I was actually able to attend but am not even able to look at them even now, years later. I admire your strength.
Squidley Posted February 10, 2008 #7 Posted February 10, 2008 I'm glad that you were able to take the next step my friend. We talked about exactly this when we saw you last. Many more days are ahead that will be hard, but you always know that the phone is on and we are just an hours ride away. I'm very proud of you that you had the courage to make this step. I'm not sure I can say I could do what you did. We love you bro, and your always in our thoughts....see you again soon
bongobobny Posted February 10, 2008 #8 Posted February 10, 2008 Gary, what you are feeling and did this week is all part of the healing process. It's the same idea as what you experienced when you first came home. Yes, it is a difficult process, but I am glad to see you have the courage to go through it. Our prayers are with you that you can pick up the pieces and move on with your life.
Guest KitCarson Posted February 10, 2008 #9 Posted February 10, 2008 Hi Gary: I do not know you and have never met you, have watched all this unfold over the past few months and never said anything. I do not know what to say to you, or how to help. I am a common sense type of person, responsible with a touch of mischief all the time......I an not sure exactly what is in the next life.....but do not think your life partner would want you to stay sad. It is a great loss and empty feeling I am sure.......I miss Sandy if she is just gone for a week or two.......besides no one else will ever put up with me!! You are doing good......learn to smile again.....just enjoy a sunny day and live life again....I really do think that is what she would want for you. Respectfully Kit.
Yammer Dan Posted February 10, 2008 #10 Posted February 10, 2008 As all have said Gary that had to be rough. Remember we are with you as much as we can be.
Sweetnothing Posted February 10, 2008 #11 Posted February 10, 2008 Gary, I am glad that you were able to take them steps....as they are steps foreward, and ones that you had to take at one time or another. It only goes to show that you are getting stronger! You will make it thru this, it will be hard, but you will make it! Just remember, if we can do ANYTHING for you.... We are here for you Gary!!
Gary N. Posted February 10, 2008 Author #12 Posted February 10, 2008 Thanks to all for the kind words. My friends here at VR.org have truly made this journey a little easier.
Guest tessa c2 Posted February 10, 2008 #13 Posted February 10, 2008 Hi and it's good to see you on here again, i'm sorry to say but you have a pretty crappy road ahead of you, for a stretch, but you have some fantastic friends, make sure you use them, that's what friends are for we will still be thinking of you and preying to give you strength, hpeefully we will meet this summer some time, so keep on fighting, pete
Eck Posted February 10, 2008 #14 Posted February 10, 2008 I'm lost for words Gary. You have had an experience I hope I never ever have to deal with, and found courage that I dont think I have. My prayers are with you and your family.
Snarley Bill Posted February 10, 2008 #15 Posted February 10, 2008 gary ,i can't imagine what you are going through.only met you once in arkansas, but i think about you every single day of the week. don't really know what to say accept, well i really don't know what to say. please hang in with the group even if you decide not to ride again. you won't get a better bunch of freinds and support than us. bill
Guest BluesLover Posted February 10, 2008 #16 Posted February 10, 2008 Hey Gary. I can't even begin to imagine the turmoil you're going through, but I know you're one heck of a tough hombre to do what you have done. We're here for you. Cheers,
E-Fishin-C Posted February 10, 2008 #17 Posted February 10, 2008 I am sending you my special angel On the wings of pure love One of exquisite beauty From heaven above. I am sending her to you Just so you will know I care so much about you And wanted to tell you so. I have called upon my angel And sending her to you To comfort, love, and guide In everything you do. Her soft wings will gather Close around your soul When you feel that touch from "no where' Then you will know. She has promised to protect you To keep you safe from harm To take away the dark fears To make your heart light and warm. Trust in your "angel" You will feel her all around In your time of lonliness Is when she will be found.
autopilot Posted February 10, 2008 #18 Posted February 10, 2008 Gary, I am once again humbled by your personal strength and grace under such circumstances as these. Like many others, I would like to meet everyone here. Some more than others, and YOU, Gary, you, most of all. The commentaries from those folks here that have known Leslie and yourself, speak volumes to me about the kind of person she was and that you are! I hope to someday shake your hand, give you a hug and be able to walk away saying "I know that guy. He's a good and decent man............a friend; I know him and through him, I knew her". There are no coincedences in this world. Everything happens for a purpose. I thought my good fortune was the bike and the deal I got on it. Were it not for needing an information source relating to the bike, I wouldn't have been here. Looking across the membership postings, my arrival here, it appears, was the beginnings of some very good fortune, indeed! Steve R. (the autopilot)
cecdoo Posted February 10, 2008 #19 Posted February 10, 2008 I am sure that was a very difficult step to take, I wish you the best, one day at a time, and as someone said, try to find a memory to smile about everyday. Craig
mother Posted February 11, 2008 #20 Posted February 11, 2008 i can't imagine what you are going through, but i am glad we are all here to help you in whatever way we can. Sherry and i we honored to have spent some great rides with you guys. excellent memories that will never be forgotten, she was an awesome person that touched so many hearts. Scott and Sherry
halfwitt Posted February 11, 2008 #22 Posted February 11, 2008 Gary, You don't know me. I feel like I know you very well thanks to the incredible people on this website. I just want to say God bless you. I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through nor what you will be going through. I hope one day I have the pleasure of meeting you. You and your family have been and continue to be in our prayers. Randy and Brenda Witt Windsor, PA
James Ardrey Posted February 12, 2008 #23 Posted February 12, 2008 Gary I don't know you but my heart goes out to you. I don't know how you feel but it must be very difficult for you. I am very sorry for your loss. I just want you to know that Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. No matter what you feel,think or say it is normal for you and it is vitally important that you continue to seek out people that will allow you the dignity to be heard without judgement or think they are obligated to give advice. You and only you know how you feel about this particular loss. Your relationship with your wife was tolally unique to the both of you. Continuing to tell the truth about how you feel is the main ingredient in getting beyond your loss. I don't mean forgetting your loved one I'm talking about the overwhelming pain that accompanies the loss of a loved one that gets in the way of the positive and happy memories in your relationship with your wife. When you get beyond the pain, isolation and loneliness you will be able to remember your relationship vividly and accurately and all the good times without being bombarded with the other. Good bye!
BigShell Posted February 12, 2008 #24 Posted February 12, 2008 Gary... As I read your posts I can't help but think about some time I spent with a Gold Star Mom recently. She had lost her son in Iraq. We sat holding hands as she told me how much she loved and missed her boy. At one point she smiled and said, "You know, if God had told me he would give me a wonderful gift, a son I could love, but I could only have him for 19 years then He wanted him back, I would have said 'Yes, please let me have him.'" God loved Leslie. too. He wanted her near Him. He let you have some wonderful years with her first, though. I pray that God will share His Love and Strength with you... that the pain will pass quickly and good memories give you joy forever. Doug
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