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Losing my Dad


Trader

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Just spent a LONG night sitting with my Dad and my brothers.

I came home tonight....but pretty much just waiting for the call to say he's gone.

 

He was diagnosed with esophagus cancer about 6 months ago and it's run it's course.

 

He is at home and comfortable.....and I guess that's what matters.

 

We were going to transfer him to a home as he was just getting to be too much to care for....but now he's got a catheter and is basically comatose, he doesn't need much care so we are letting him die at home.

 

He asked my sister to shave off his beard because Mom wouldn't like it! ( she died 3 years ago)

 

He's one month short of 85 and told me he's OK with it....he's ready.

 

Said my goodbye's today and although we think he had a stroke and can't speak, he wakes for about 10 seconds when we "roll" him and he gave me thumbs up.

 

My sister soaked his dentures in single malt and that put a smile on his face!

 

He's not religious....so he wouldn't appreciate my asking for your prayers....but good thoughts can't hurt!

 

hmmm.....60 years old and crying like a baby

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Trader:

I am sorry you are dealing with this. These feelings can be overwhelming. 2 years ago last week, I lost my mom, who was everything to me. I watched her pass away after she was in a LTAC in New Jersey for 6 weeks. I was bedside the entire time. It still gets me choked up now. We all wish we can do more. I wish you peace through all this. Call me or email me anytime you wish to vent.

Edited by Barrycuda
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So sorry to hear of this, I have lost both of my parents to Cancer and was with them both at their passing, it is not a easy thing to go through, even when you know its going to happen, just know that he will be in a better place and free of pain, he will always be with you, during good times and bad. Your father and you and your family will be in our thoughts.

 

 

Kreg & Janet

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oh brother, i don't envy you.

death is the final act of living, we are all going to be there and although it doesn't make it any easier it sounds like you are trying to make the most of a bad situation.

hold and relish the warmth of his hand....talk to him even if he doesn't hear.

it will bring comfort to him and you.

god bless you and your family as you are in our thoughts and prayers

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Steve, our thoughts are with you and your Dad. It is not easy seeing our loved ones suffer, but it does give us time to say all we want which we may feel we havn't if someone is taken suddenly.

 

Be strong for you Dad and as others have said keep talking to him and holding his hand or holding him.

 

God Bless

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Steve, please know that you do have my good thoughts. Almost lost my own father a month or so ago, and for the second time. The first time around, he had a "near death" experience, which was quite euphoric for him. In recent years, he and I consider and celebrate every day as "bonus time", both for him and for us. I hope you are able to focus on good memories in the days ahead.

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