Guest scarylarry Posted March 4, 2013 #1 Posted March 4, 2013 My mother passed away this passed Thursday with cancer, she was 83 and smoked most of her life.. Anyway my dad passed away 11 years ago, my mom left a very detail will which was good and the dividing is going as good as it can get, so my point is when we went to the funeral home and we said she is to be cremated, the director said since your dad has passed and he did that funeral as well, that all 4 of us has to sign a legal document stating that is what we wanted... Every state is different on how they handle this even the cost of the death certificate, Tenn. is 10.00 dollars and some are as much as 75.00.. We order 3 cause some want the orginal and not a copy.. So the bottom line here is if you plan on being cremated make sure the family or the ones that have say are in agreements or they could end up in probate court as we was told... Not a easy subject to discuss but I have learn a lot about the legal system on what can be done
ragtop69gs Posted March 4, 2013 #2 Posted March 4, 2013 Larry, Sorry for your loss. Please accept our condolences to you and your family. As far as death certificates go, when mom passed, I needed 6 copies to send out. When my dad passed I only got 3 copies and still have 2 of them, so I'd say 3-4 is normally enough, you can always get more if needed. It was only my sister and I so there was no disagreement.
Guest scarylarry Posted March 4, 2013 #3 Posted March 4, 2013 Thank you, we haven't either but I have one that does not believe cremation but would not fight cause that is what she wanted... We all know how families can act...
dingy Posted March 4, 2013 #5 Posted March 4, 2013 My mother passed away this passed Thursday with cancer, she was 83 and smoked most of her life.. Anyway my dad passed away 11 years ago, my mom left a very detail will which was good and the dividing is going as good as it can get, so my point is when we went to the funeral home and we said she is to be cremated, the director said since your dad has passed and he did that funeral as well, that all 4 of us has to sign a legal document stating that is what we wanted... Every state is different on how they handle this even the cost of the death certificate, Tenn. is 10.00 dollars and some are as much as 75.00.. We order 3 cause some want the orginal and not a copy.. So the bottom line here is if you plan on being cremated make sure the family or the ones that have say are in agreements or they could end up in probate court as we was told... Not a easy subject to discuss but I have learn a lot about the legal system on what can be done Larry, Sorry about losing your mother 1st of all. You might want to checked if that is in fact a legal requirement of your state after you have taken care of your mothers and things have settled down It sounds a little like a ploy a funeral home could possibly use when a family is vulnerable to get them to spend money for services that are not wanted. While this would not help in the case of your mother, it might give you some insight into your choice of a funeral home in the future. I am in favor of cremation, but my wife is very against it. Cremation is not mainstream yet, but of the several funerals I have been at where the individual was cremated, it seemed to be a less somber setting. The cost is what I am looking at, when I pass, I would rather my wife dispose of my body via cremation, which is much more economical than being embalmed & displayed in an expensive box, then put in a vault. I won't need the body anymore so save some money, take a cruise or a vacation with the money saved. Nobody is gonna come look at me anyways. If she goes first, then I will do what she has requested. Not because it is what I think is right, but I know her family has similar feelings. Both of my parents wanted cremation and there wishes were complied with. Gary
Guest scarylarry Posted March 4, 2013 #6 Posted March 4, 2013 No there was no charge for this and there will be no service.. This stems back from, if you remember around the Chatt. area there was funeral home that was suppose to have done cremation and wasn't and I'm thinking it was like a 130+ bodies they mishandle.. Anyway when that came about there was a lot of laws change here on how it would be handle... So there was no cost involved for this part... The living spouse has the only final say...
cecdoo Posted March 4, 2013 #7 Posted March 4, 2013 Very sorry for your loss Larry, hope you have plenty of great memories to help you through this difficult time. Craig
Guest scarylarry Posted March 4, 2013 #8 Posted March 4, 2013 Thanks I do, when the quality life is gone and you are laying in bed having your mouth swapped out cause you can't swallow then it is time...
Venturous Randy Posted March 4, 2013 #9 Posted March 4, 2013 (edited) Sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. Loosing our parents is tough, but is part of being adult children. I had a friend die last summer and he was cremated and the only service was at a park near the lake where his friends and family had a "Celebration of Life" service. It was really good. I also would like to be cremated and maybe have something like this. I would also like to have my ashes thrown to the wind off one of the overlooks on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Maybe some of you could wave as you ride by. As veteran, I do have access to the national cemetery just a couple of miles from my house where both of my parents are buried. RandyA Edited March 4, 2013 by Venturous Randy
Guest scarylarry Posted March 4, 2013 #10 Posted March 4, 2013 Thanks and do you remember about that funeral home in the Chatt. area that stir all this up? If so whatever happen to him...I would google but I can't remember the name of any of it..
Venturous Randy Posted March 4, 2013 #11 Posted March 4, 2013 Thanks and do you remember about that funeral home in the Chatt. area that stir all this up? If so whatever happen to him...I would google but I can't remember the name of any of it.. Yes, I do remember it and if the guy did not get jail time, he should have. That was a really bad situation and caused a lot of people much heart ache. RandyA
Guest scarylarry Posted March 4, 2013 #12 Posted March 4, 2013 That is why we all had to sign here...
CaptainJoe Posted March 4, 2013 #13 Posted March 4, 2013 Penny and I are sorry for your loss. I lost my dad a few years ago. We did as he wanted... To do otherwise, would be shelfish.
Guest scarylarry Posted March 4, 2013 #14 Posted March 4, 2013 True and we are doing what she wanted... Thanks...
Venturous Randy Posted March 4, 2013 #15 Posted March 4, 2013 Thanks and do you remember about that funeral home in the Chatt. area that stir all this up? If so whatever happen to him...I would google but I can't remember the name of any of it.. Yes, I do remember and it was a real mess with a lot of people going through a lot of anguish. He got 12 years in prision. RandyA http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tri-State_Crematory
Guest scarylarry Posted March 4, 2013 #16 Posted March 4, 2013 Thanks that was more people than I thought it was...
DragonRider Posted March 4, 2013 #17 Posted March 4, 2013 Sorry for your loss, we will keep your family in our prayers as you go through this difficult time. It was very wise for your parents to have a will, so many dont and it causes trouble and animosity among the family. My mother passed away this passed Thursday with cancer, she was 83 and smoked most of her life.. Anyway my dad passed away 11 years ago, my mom left a very detail will which was good and the dividing is going as good as it can get, so my point is when we went to the funeral home and we said she is to be cremated, the director said since your dad has passed and he did that funeral as well, that all 4 of us has to sign a legal document stating that is what we wanted... Every state is different on how they handle this even the cost of the death certificate, Tenn. is 10.00 dollars and some are as much as 75.00.. We order 3 cause some want the orginal and not a copy.. So the bottom line here is if you plan on being cremated make sure the family or the ones that have say are in agreements or they could end up in probate court as we was told... Not a easy subject to discuss but I have learn a lot about the legal system on what can be done
djh3 Posted March 4, 2013 #18 Posted March 4, 2013 Sorry to hear that Larry. On the certificate thing. My dad has probably been gone 20yr or more. Its bad but I forget now. I was still in the service and had to take leave to come back to Fl and take care of some stuff, so it was before 96. Anyways same thing for when my mom passed. They give you like 2-3 "embossed official" or whatever they call them death certificates. It seemed almost every place I went to cancel an accout, close out tings they wanted the embossed copy. Well they run you at that time about $10 ea and you had to go to court house. After me spending an additional $30-40 bucks I finaly said this is what you get, you can make a copy so you can see the embossed raised part but I ain leaving it with you unless you fess up the $10.
Guest scarylarry Posted March 4, 2013 #19 Posted March 4, 2013 Thank you, and that was my point of this..Make sure the legal stuff is cover before.... I'm glad she did and we all know what to do.... Even you could be affected since we change so much after the funeral home blunder... Might want to check on that, like I was told every state is different.. Sorry for your loss, we will keep your family in our prayers as you go through this difficult time. It was very wise for your parents to have a will, so many dont and it causes trouble and animosity among the family.
Guest scarylarry Posted March 4, 2013 #20 Posted March 4, 2013 Thanks for the kind words.....That is what I plan on doing I know the credit union will take a copy and why in heavens name she dealt with BoA but that want a hard copy.. Of course all ins. companies want one..I'm thinking 3 if I need more I can get more... Sorry to hear that Larry. On the certificate thing. My dad has probably been gone 20yr or more. Its bad but I forget now. I was still in the service and had to take leave to come back to Fl and take care of some stuff, so it was before 96. Anyways same thing for when my mom passed. They give you like 2-3 "embossed official" or whatever they call them death certificates. It seemed almost every place I went to cancel an accout, close out tings they wanted the embossed copy. Well they run you at that time about $10 ea and you had to go to court house. After me spending an additional $30-40 bucks I finaly said this is what you get, you can make a copy so you can see the embossed raised part but I ain leaving it with you unless you fess up the $10.
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