The Good Wife

[ragtop69gs]

On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife were listening to

the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say,

 

We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of Snow today. You must park your

car on the even-numbered side of the Street, so the Snowplows can get

through.

 

So the good wife went out and moved her car.

 

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio

announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You

must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the

Snowplows can get through.

 

The good wife went out and moved her car again.

 

The next week again at breakfast, when the radio announcer said, "We

are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." then

the electric power went out.

 

The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she

said, " I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to

park on so the Snowplows can get through?"

 

Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are

married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied,

 

"Why don't you just Leave the car in the garage this time."

[CaptainJoe]

And here I thought it was gonna be a dirty joke...

[ragtop69gs]

And here I thought it was gonna be a dirty joke...

 

Naw... I gave up posting those, Don always delete's em before anyone gets a chance to see them

[Barrycuda]

Naw... I gave up posting those, Don always delete's em before anyone gets a chance to see them

 

Don sees and knows all.. Which is helpful to me anyways.

[Freebird]

Do not.

[Snaggletooth]

Damn, I thought you had run across this article.

 

Got me through my first marriage, and then my second marriage and probably won't help at all if there's a third one.

 

I marked the important stuff so they wouldn't miss it. Didn't help. Then putting it in wedding album seemed to cause a bit of a riff to. How's a guy to know?

Edited February 8, 2013 by Snaggletooth

[dingy]

Damn, I thought you had run across this article.

 

Got me through my first marriage, and then my second marriage and probably won't help at all if there's a third one.

 

I marked the important stuff so they wouldn't miss it. Didn't help. Then putting it in wedding album seemed to cause a bit of a riff to. How's a guy to know?

 

 

Same thing snaggy posted, but a little easier to read.

 

Gary

 

 

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
  
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
  
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
  
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dust cloth over the tables.
  
• During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
  
• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
  
• Be happy to see him.
  
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
  
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
  
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
  
• Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
  
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
  
• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
  
• A good wife always knows her place.
  

[Snaggletooth]

Thanks Gary,

 

I tried to upload it in a larger format but the site just resized it back to the same size again.

 

It does need a little updating as the "Good Wifes Guide" comes off as a little archaic.

 

 

I think a new title would work better as "How to End a Relationship".

[Flyinfool]

Shhhhhh........

I got her to buy into this............

[Grandpagak]

[Yammer Dan]

Got a copy on the wall.

[Marcarl]

I'm not even going to MENTION that I READ that,,, she might get some ideas.