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Posted (edited)

Although I never had the privilege of meeting Mark, it sounds as if he had a wonderful sense of humor...so I think he would have liked this story.

 

I don’t know what is involved in spreading ashes but if I can help I will. .

 

My aunt passed away and requested that her ashes be spread out in the ocean near Nova Scotia where they lived.

 

My uncle (who was a grumpy old man) rented a boat and he and guests sailed a few miles offshore for the service. It was a bright sunny day with a bit of breeze and the ocean was a bit choppy.

After a very touching service,the time came to spread the ashes.

As you may know,after cremation, the crematorium places the remains in a very thick plastic bag.

What ensued was a battle of epic proportions that will forever remain in my memory as the last "go round" between my dear Uncle and Aunt.

It seemed my aunt didn't really want to go!

My poor Uncle was staggering around like a drunk man trying to keep his balance on the pitching deck while pulling and tearing at the bag trying to open it.

 

He had it in the air, under his armpit, between his knees trying to rip, tear or pry the last remains of my aunt out of her plastic prison.

Some of the guests started offering words of support and yelled out suggestions on how to accomplish the task.

The struggle continued as my uncle staggered and swayed as if to some unheard music.

 

 

but Dear old aunty just would not co-operate.

 

Finally, he tried a different attack. He attempted pulling the 2 sides away from each other near the center of the top, much like you would a bag of Potato Chips.

 

After a lot of grunting, and stress and strain he succeeded.....sort of.

 

The bag exploded open, showering him with ashes....along with several of the guest who happened to have the misfortune of being downwind.

My now white-faced Uncle sputtered and spit out ashes as he said his final parting words to his dear wife.....

 

"OH THE HELL WITH IT!!!" and angrily threw the bag and remaining contents into the ocean.

 

She always said she would have the last laugh!

 

Moral of the story....if you plan such a service.....

BE SURE YOU HAVE A KNIFE OR SCISSORS!

 

(some details have been slightly embellished...but essentially a true story)

Edited by Trader
Posted (edited)

I had a similar experience while spreading the ashes of my Dad.

 

My Dad was a lifetime Golfer and had mentioned to my sister at some point in time that he wanted his ashes scattered on a golf course. Since my sister lived in a golf course community in Hilton head, SC we arranged a short ceremony on the green of the 9th hole which happened to be located across the street from her house.

 

With the family gathered, each family member took turns talking about their memories of my Dad then scattering a small ladle full of his ashes from the urn. I was the last one to speak since my sister had asked me to prepare a special dissertation about the legacy of my Dad's life.

 

I should explain that my Dad was known to be among other things a prolific practical joker with a very corny sense of humor. At that ceremony I was wearing all black, Black suit, black shirt and tie. It had been a beautiful blue sky day in June with no wind at all.

 

After giving my lengthy, apparently well written dissertation about my Dad the gathered family members were drying the tears from their faces and blowing their noses as a result of the heart felt emotions my dissertation had aroused in each one of them. There was not a dry eye present and the moment was noticeably very somber.

 

As best as I can recall I had ended the dissertation with the statement " Dad, I Love you and you will always be with me." It was then my turn to scatter his ashes. My sister hands me the urn that was still half full with his remaining ashes. Rather than slinging a small scoop I swing the entire urn. At that moment, as if on cue, on a perfectly calm day, a sudden gust of wind blows up blowing the remaining ashes back all over me and the gathered group of family members.

 

As I look down at myself I am completely covered from head to foot with my Dad's gray ashes turning my black attire to a ghostly gray. I turn around to face the gathered group of family members, they too were completely covered with ashes and had expressions of shock and surprise on their faces. Without missing a beat I said "And apparently he will be with you for a while longer as well."

 

After that pregnant pause moment of silence everyone bust out into laughter. I remember my mother saying, "Isn't that just like Charlie, he always had to have the last laugh." The group starts exiting the green brushing my Dad's ashes from their clothing and laughing about how typically Charlie the event had ended.

 

You would have had to been there and had known my Dad to appreciate the full irony of moment. To this day there is no doubt in my mind that my Dad was there with us in spirit and the cause of that sudden gust of wind.

Edited by Dragonslayer
Posted

A few years ago a very good friend of mine passed away. He was the greatest guy you would ever meet always the life of the party always joking and kidding around. Whenever there was a gathering or picnic you could always find him playing with all the little kids he would entertain them for hours even tho he was 80 yrs old. When it came time for his service his family knew there would be a large crowd and a large gathering afterwards, so they rented a large room in a local hotel to handle the wake. The family never mentioned the party room was for a wake when they booked it, and the hotel never mentioned there was a HUGE CLOWN CONVENTION staying in the hotel that weekend. It was amazing, when the clowns found out about the wake they took it upon themselves to entertain the kids, facepainting, balloons the whole works, we all laughed and had a great time, it was the perfect send off for my friend, I still have the funny mask they were handing out hanging in my office!

 

Craig

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