Talk to your kids...

[darthandy]

A few weeks ago my brother in law's 17 year old daughter suddenly started having seizures - up to a dozen times a day. She had recently lost some 70 pounds over a short time ( less than a year ) and the doctors felt that the problem might be related to that. Well, it was - she had been forcing herself to vomit after meals and now it seems as if months of doing that has caused some damage that they haven't been able to track down yet. She had to be taken out of school and completed the rest of her year through home study. She can go back in September but the school board has insisted that she be in a wheelchair in case she has a seizure and falls down. Can you imagine this happening at the top of a flight of concrete stairs or standing at a chemistry lab desk with a beaker full of acid on it? The thing is, this is not a stupid child - she's very bright and gets good marks, but she had been overweight all her life and when she got to high school it really started to bother her. So she felt the need to lose weight. Her parents are loving people who look after their children very well, but unfortunately, it is all too easy for a child to do this without being very obvious. Needless to say, they are devastated as are we. In her attempt to be more popular and better looking, she has now put herself in a position that will make it very difficult for her to function normally and that has seriously harmed her health. How long this will last, no one can say...it could be permanent or it may get better with time. She had convinced herself that she was being more careful, was healthier, etc., etc. and so thought that she could get away with it without being harmed. She was painfully wrong.

 

We're doing what we can to support her and to comfort her parents, but there isn't that much to do at this point except hope. I put this story in the "Watering Hole" area rather than the "Inspirational" section, because I know some folks are not comfortable in that forum and I want to be sure that as many people as possible see this story. Raising kids is a tough job and it's easy to miss some of the little signs of problems. If you have a child or know of one who has issues with their looks or popularity, try to get them to open up about it (Yeah. I know - it can sometimes be easier to open a bank vault with tweezers) but try anyway. If this story gets even one child to open up and be prevented from harming themselves then at least there will have been something good that came out of this.

 

Our children are our most precious resource. Without them, there is no future for man. If we can't protect them from every danger, we can hopefully protect them from themselves.

 

Andy

[foyerboy]

I'm only 36 and I can't believe how much things have changed since I was in school. Kids having to deal with so many things, "sexual identity", casual drugs, eating disorders, under age sex....it's just crazy. Like you said you can't shield them from everything. It's so difficult to stand on the sidelines though crossing you fingers that they'll make the right decisions.

I have a 7 year old and I have told him on many occasions, you can tell daddy anything, even if you think you will get in trouble, I promise to listen and not react until we have both had time to think about things......so far he has trusted me with that and taken me up on that offer a couple of times. I just pray to God that he'll continue to come to daddy even when he is older with perhaps, much more serious delimmas.....

[sgn]

A long road to travel but it can come out very well. A family member of mine is now 8 years past her issues and doing very well.

 

My thoughts are with you and I admire your courage to open yourself up to others.

[GAWildKat]

I'm 38, and mildly impaired from cerebral palsy. I also had the ability to go to a private school until 10th grade. Kids, and uneducated/uncaring adults can be very cruel. I was very lucky that the majority of my teachers were very caring and loving people who enjoyed having me as a student. It made school easier to bear. I'm lucky that weight was not an issue I had to deal with then. In fact, I was the skinny kid in school lol. I hope she recovers and can get back to a normal routine.

[a1bummer]

If you allow me to play "Devils advocate" for a minute... I feel the problem started long before she started forcing herself to vomit to loose weight. It started with the parents ignorance and them letting their child become obese in the first place. If they are lucky, they will learn from this experience and will be able to prevent what may or may not have lead to even worse health issues in her future if the weight problem were allowed to continue and possibly become and even bigger problem.

 

When I was growing up I remember grown-ups/teachers actually telling us that there was nothing wrong with being "fat". Luckily we're a bit less ignorant these days. We now know that obesity is almost as deadly as smoking. Over 400,000 people a year die from obesity the last time I checked. It's the fastest growing disease in America ans it's totally preventable.

 

So if you really want to help your children and loved ones, educate yourselves about obesity and how to prevent it. If you yourself have an obesity problem, do something about it. The people who care about you will be happy as hell to see less of you and to have the chance to have you in their lives even longer.

 

Sorry if anybody takes offense, that isn't my intention.

 

Bill

[jfoster]

I wish I had the skinny gene......

[hog]

I'm only 36 and I can't believe how much things have changed since I was in school. Kids having to deal with so many things, "sexual identity", casual drugs, eating disorders, under age sex....it's just crazy. Like you said you can't shield them from everything. It's so difficult to stand on the sidelines though crossing you fingers that they'll make the right decisions.

I have a 7 year old and I have told him on many occasions, you can tell daddy anything, even if you think you will get in trouble, I promise to listen and not react until we have both had time to think about things......so far he has trusted me with that and taken me up on that offer a couple of times. I just pray to God that he'll continue to come to daddy even when he is older with perhaps, much more serious delimmas.....

I agree with you completely.Got to keep those lines of communication open with your kids.We always told our son to be honest with us and don't be afraid to tell us anything or ask anything.Plus I have always told him I will Never tell you a lie.I told him some of my past mistakes and experiences I had and so far it has worked fine.His senior year in high school he admitted he wanted to go to a drinking party and together we came up with a mutual decision that he not go.He fessed up a few years later that he had tried smoking pot but did not like it.We have a special father son relationship.He and I are buddies and riding together has helped us.He would never end a conversation on the phone without saying I Love you Dad and I always reply with I Love you too buddy.The guys at work used to give me crap about it saying stuff like OHH isn't that sweet saying that to a 22 year old,and I just say yes it is isn't it.When was the last time your kid said I Love You.That shut them up.

[darthandy]

If you allow me to play "Devils advocate" for a minute... I feel the problem started long before she started forcing herself to vomit to loose weight. It started with the parents ignorance and them letting their child become obese in the first place. If they are lucky, they will learn from this experience and will be able to prevent what may or may not have lead to even worse health issues in her future if the weight problem were allowed to continue and possibly become and even bigger problem.

 

When I was growing up I remember grown-ups/teachers actually telling us that there was nothing wrong with being "fat". Luckily we're a bit less ignorant these days. We now know that obesity is almost as deadly as smoking. Over 400,000 people a year die from obesity the last time I checked. It's the fastest growing disease in America ans it's totally preventable.

 

So if you really want to help your children and loved ones, educate yourselves about obesity and how to prevent it. If you yourself have an obesity problem, do something about it. The people who care about you will be happy as hell to see less of you and to have the chance to have you in their lives even longer.

 

Sorry if anybody takes offense, that isn't my intention.

 

Bill

 

OK, with all due respect ... the parents were obese, but not ignorant. You are assuming she was obese based on the weight loss, but she is a big girl and was considered overweight but not obese (By definition, not by opinion). And it's tough to tell your child not to eat so much when you do and when you have been raised to think it's normal. They were aware of their own physical problems and were trying to get them under control, while not making too much of a big deal out of it and causing their girls to develop a fear of becoming overweight. The older of their daughters developed an "image problem" when she entered her teenage years and she let it override her knowledge and better judgement. The Bulimia she suffers from is a disease not a choice, just like alcoholism, drug abuse or any other such addictive behaviour and it takes a lot more than "educating" someone to have them stop. How many doctors and nurses do we still see smoking even though they see first hand the results of years of people abusing their bodies with cigarettes. And as for the the teachers, they were trying to explain to the other kids that being fat didn't make you "bad". remember, back in our day an overweight kid would often be made fun of (Yes, children can be cruel!) and teased. There is a difference between educating against prejudice and educating for better health. Let's not confuse the two and let's not jump to conclusions based on a few facts and a lot of assumptions.

 

Andy

[rickardracing]

I'm only 36 and I can't believe how much things have changed since I was in school. Kids having to deal with so many things, "sexual identity", casual drugs, eating disorders, under age sex....it's just crazy. Like you said you can't shield them from everything. It's so difficult to stand on the sidelines though crossing you fingers that they'll make the right decisions.

I have a 7 year old and I have told him on many occasions, you can tell daddy anything, even if you think you will get in trouble, I promise to listen and not react until we have both had time to think about things......so far he has trusted me with that and taken me up on that offer a couple of times. I just pray to God that he'll continue to come to daddy even when he is older with perhaps, much more serious delimmas.....

 

 

That's awesome! I wish my parents did that when I was young. It would have helped out alot of problems I had growing up that I had to deal with on my own.

[Yammer Dan]

Hard decisions here. We as a people are doing so much to help them in this direction. Set meals are almost a thing of the past for young ones. Eat all day long as much as you want. When I was growing up we learned when mealtime was. It is great that we are able to give the kids these things but a lot to be said for the older ways. Make any sense at all?? With some of my grandkids it seems to be nothing but junk!!