Motorcylism

[LSupina]

I'm new to ya'lls forum, but not to riding. Thought my fellow Venture pilots might appreciate this piece......just thoughts leaking out of my helmet.

Motorcyclism

by Larry Supina

Over the years I’ve read a fair share of articles which tout the virtues of riding a motorcycle, everything from cycles save gas, are easier on the roads, the sense of freedom you get from riding, better parking, all true in my opinion. I have also had the personal growth opportunity of impatiently listening to thousands of automobile drivers ramble on about how much better a car is, usually citing safety, protection from the elements, the audio quality of their sound system and cup holders. Both of these experiences share a commonality, they are all based on the perception that an automobile is the standard from which the comparison should be made. Never have I read or heard about the inadequacies or shortcomings of automobiles using the motorcycle as the basis of comparison, and I believe it is time to fill the gap in this void of information. That being stated, here is a non-biased comparison of the average car to the much more elegant, efficient and endearing motorcycle.

Cars have a nasty tendency to show their age. The five year old motorcycle sitting outside, if and when it is washed, still looks new, it does not look dated nor does it sit a little funny to one side or the other. The bike being referenced is a daily driver on a 70 mile round trip commute, it sits in a corporate parking lot all day and outside under a tree all night. It has weathered rain, sleet, hail, wind, bugs and larger critters in it’s role as my primary transportation, it is washed almost weekly when the weather is warm, slightly less and less and less as the water hose freezes up in the winter. My motorcycle has flawlessly endured vacations, errands, Sunday drives and a 1000 mile Saddle Sore ride, and it looks great. It has the looks of a pampered fashion model because it does not have door dings, parking lot rash, cracks in the windshield, bumper dents or any of the other normal damage that normal cars see in normal use. You see, it is normal for a car to become old and sad looking, cars can’t help it. You however have a choice, avoid the frustration of the first door ding in your new car, save money in the process, ride a good used bike.

Cars unnecessarily extended your work day. All day long you’ve sat at a desk, eight, ten or more hours just so you can assume the exact same sitting posture for the commute home. If you ride a motorcycle you go from sitting to riding, a different posture using different muscles, plus if you so choose, you can stand up and stretch or simply stand all the way home while still cruising right on down the road. At those pesky traffic lights you can even put both feet on the ground and stretch any part of your office bound anatomy you want to. Try doing that in a Camry.

Cars like to double as waste baskets. Modern automobiles have somewhere in the neighborhood of 52 cup holders, 10 storage compartments, a glove box or three, map pockets, door pockets, center console storage, overhead storage bins and some even have an ash tray. All this “practical, thoughtfully designed, useful” storage collects chewing gum, new and recycled, receipts, broken pencils, dry pens, 35 year old lip balm, rubber bands, pennies and all the other daily junk we come in contact with. Cars love to fill themselves up with this stuff. Motorcycles eliminate this cluttering from your life, you’ll never have to spend an extra twenty minutes picking all the little bits of well stored trash up with your fingers before you give someone a ride. But that’s not all, you will be relieved from scrubbing the spilled drink gunk from the 52 cup holders which have been precisely engineered to deter all known methods of drink gunk cleaning.

While we are discussing cleanliness, car ownership and car use also demands vacuuming. This task involves awkward and sometimes painful contortions of the body, removal and washing of floor mats, slow dancing with a contrary plastic hose and tap dancing with an extension cord. Your reward for this labor of love?, a three month old French fry and just enough loose change to not buy anything so you throw the pennies and nickels into a nearby, …..wait for it….., gunky bottomed cup holder. What a deal, and your car still smells musty, dusty or travel weary so you get to spray a fabric perfume on the seats and hang a green cardboard pine tree from the rearview mirror. You will never need to hang green cardboard pine trees from you motorcycles rearview mirror, de-odorize the seats or vacuum the floorboards, because whereas a car enjoys collecting trash and debris, motorcycles naturally lean towards clean and clutter-free.

Cars like to inflict pain on their owners. Lots of people are always trying to convince me that cars are safe, motorcycle are dangerous, and I think they sniffed too much green pine. I have, as of this 46th year of life on planet Earth, not suffered an injury on a motorcycle. I’ve not had an accident in a car either, but I sure have suffered injury. Over the years, various makes and models of cars, vans and trucks have inflicted on me several broken fingers, caught in doors which miraculously latch when my appendages adjust the door gap, numerous tufts of hairy scalp have been forcibly taken from me by hoods, hatches and trunk lids, at least a couple of dozen knots have been raised on my noggin by door sills and three memorable instances of the wind slamming a door closed on my shins as I was trying to exit a vehicle with my hands full of stuff collected from all those “useful” storage / trash bins. I’ve paid a painful price to be safe, at least up until I came out of the garage and declared my bi-wheel-uality.

Modern cars are full of designed annoyances. I often hear people saying motorcycles are loud and annoying, and to be completely honest, some of them are. Sure, some riders choose to modify their rides with pipes that are loud and annoying, and so do some car owners, some van owners and some truck owners, but that is a choice those vehicle owners make and I’ll leave it to you to have a talk with them about that. But any discussion about annoying things has got to put the modern automobile at the top of the list. I have never accidentally activated the wipers on a motorcycle and been subjected to the screech of desiccated silicon on glass, can you say the same about your minivan? Nor have I watched helplessly as the automated five swipes of the wiper blades drag a $20 wiper arm missing a $5 wiper blade across an $800 windshield, destroying it with semi-circular gouges. No sir, motorcycle also don’t ding about forgotten seatbelts, talk to you about doors that are ajar, automatically lock the doors, prevent the backseat passenger from exiting the vehicle due to child locks or open the windows all the way when all you wanted was half way. Motorcycles assume you have a brain. That you are using said brain, and I like being treated that way by my machinery. I find nagging and patronizing to be very annoying, and modern cars are literally full of it.

Many cars are not trick knee or bad back accessible, because they are too low to the ground for anyone over the age of 21. I can mount almost any motorcycle and still have my dignity intact, but there are fewer and fewer cars every year that sit high enough to offer this simple courtesy to my ‘no longer a kid’ physical state of being. Sure, driving a hot sports car is fun, but getting into the blasted thing isn’t, and I don’t even want to talk about the embarrassment of trying to crawl out of a box two inches off the ground. Maybe if the guys running the hoist truck didn’t giggle so much I’d feel better about it…

Every once in a great while I let someone else ride my bike, think along the terms of Haley’s Comet, Ice Ages, etc…, and when they are done riding my bike I can hop on and everything is exactly where it is supposed to be. No banging my knees into the steering wheel or adjusting the seats, or the mirrors, or the tilt, headrests, seatbelts, nope, I can just get on and ride. The other added benefit is very few people ever ask to borrow my motorcycle, my pickup however seems to be a premiere choice for favor seekers.

When my spouse and I go out on our bikes there is no arguing over the air-conditioner or heater settings plus I can ride with my window (face shield) open and she can have hers closed, though usually when we ride it’s the other way around, and I haven’t figured that one out yet. The point is, whether we are riding two up or both on our own rides, there just are not any of those “you gotta share,” features to start an argument between us, and I like that. Then after a nice dinner or social event we head to the parking lot and we never find those annoying advertisements under the wiper blades, its good not to have wiper blades, we also are never blocked in waiting for someone else to come move their creatively parked car. Never once since converting to motorcyclism have I been trapped in a parking lot, it’s just a better way, dear friends.

But the best reason to adopt two wheels and shun four is shocking, really shocking, static shocking, static shock never happens to the motorcyclist because the motorcycle at rest is firmly grounded by the kickstand to good ol’ mommie earth. So you and the bike always meet on equal static potentials meaning there is never a nasty sparking exchange to bring everything into balance. Surely by now you can understand why cars are an inferior choice for personal transportation, and yes I know your name is not Shirley. See ya in the curves!

[Guest BluesLover]

Well said Larry!

 

Cheers,

[rod]

Well said!!! That was great I love it. See you on the road. Rod

[dr.nemo]

Very well done..

[muffinman]

And the best part is pulling into a parking lot at 30 degrees and laughing at the cagers when they get out and imediatly start complaining that it is freezing.When we are properly dressed we are warmer getting off a bike then they are getting out of a cage.

Jeff

[LSupina]

I'm thinking about writing an article on that very subject. A few months back I rode up to a traffic light, it was 75 degrees, sun shinig, no wind (which is a big deal in Amarillo) perfect weather to be outside. I looked around me at all the cagers and everyone of them had their tinted windows rolled up, podding their I-Pods, cell phones celling, AC running. I almost felt sad for them, but that feeling past and I was just amused at all they are missing trying to be so connected they've become disconnected. Reminded me of something my mom used to say about my friends and a cliff.

[bongobobny]

Great read!! Very amusing and got a good laugh or two out of it!