My son wants to start riding

[Freebird]

WOW...talk about mixed feelings. I started riding when I was about 14 and I sure earned my share of battle marks during those early years. No training at all, just jumped on a bike, figured out what to push to make it go and was a terror for many years after that.

 

Dylan is 19 now. I've bought a few small bikes for him to put around the yard on when he was younger but he never had any real interest. He had a CT70, a CT90, a Honda Bearcat and etc. but just never rode them over a half dozen times or so.

 

Last week he told me that he has decided that he wants a bike. I think that some of his co-workers ride and he wants to join them. I feel very hypocritical about it all. I absolutely do NOT want him to get a bike but I sure understand the attraction. It has brought me much joy over the years.

 

So, what do you do? I told him the truth about how I feel about it. That I really don't want him buying a bike but that I knew I had no basis to tell him no. I told him that I would insist though that he take the MSF safety course and that he NOT start out on a crotch rocket. I am steering him towards a 650 or so cruiser like maybe a VStar or a Honda Shadow.

 

Due to his lack of interest in the past, I never thought I would have to face this day but here it is.

[Yammer Dan]

You are right. You can't stop it. I taught Lil'Yammer on the 750. He seemed to understand things pretty well but his older brother jumped right on a 650 Crotch Rocket. Dropped it twice lost some hide and scared hiself off it. I was kind of disappointed that he was scared away so easy but was very glad at same time. He does not belong on a bike. Good Luck. Dylan seems to have a pretty good head on his shoulders just keep pointing out the safety issues.

[steamer]

I know the feeling. My oldest son wants to learn to ride. I told him to take the safty course. I guess I really don't have much to say about it, since he is 35 yrs old, married with 4 children. But he's still my kid. At least he wants a cruiser and not a death rocket.

[Rick Haywood]

Teach him to ride by always talking to him about the little things...where to be in your lane so cars can see you in intersections. I know haw you feel, my 20 year old daughter wants to learn to ride. But what kind of parent would I be if I tried to stop her.

[Guest tx2sturgis]

The nuts dont fall far from the tree.

 

 

Hey, have the dealer install a speed limiter on his new bike. 12 mph seems about right. Then once he turns 21, joins the military, or leaves home, bump it up to 30.

 

 

 

 

[RSTardeD]

My father rode from 14 as well till he had me and my brother and gave up riding after 20 years in hopes that my brother and I would not be attracted to motorcycling. When I turned 20 and my brother 18 he bought himself a brand new Vulcan 2000LT. My brother purchased a standard 600 shortly after. ....about 2 years later I caught the bug as well. .....fast forward three years and and someof the best father son bonding in our entire lives spawned from our mutual interest in bikes. Now we ride together as often as possible and my father has learned to embrace it. Just be a role model and make sure you pass down whatever knowledge you have accumulated over the years. Let.him learn from your mistakes and.hopefully the both of you will love every moment of it.

[Guest]

Sometimes you just gotta open the cage door and let them fly...........

[GAWildKat]

Mike broached the subject once about getting a bike with his parents, I didn't know he'd been secretly wanting one since his teens but knowing his parents, he never spoke up til about 3-4 yrs ago. Now he's not living under their roof and they no longer support him, so in his and my mind they have little say in his hobbies and toys.....boy were we wrong, that turned into a 3 hr long tirade with his Dad throwing a fit and and alot of yelling and foot stamping. His Dad thought when he was done the matter was settled. Mike didn't tell him when the bike was bought last year, instead Mike made facebook posts and pictures bragging. When we went to Vogel last year, we didn't tell them we were taking the bike, we were a bit concerned they wouldn't allow us the visit we wanted if the bike was at issue. Mike's Dad did say the bike looks nice but won't go beyond that. It was on that trip Mike's Dad told us why he's scared of bikes so and got into muscle cars instead. Mike's grandfather rode bikes way back when there wasn't really safety gear and helmets weren't mandatory. He had a bad spill once that left him with a metal plate in his head. Since then Mike's Dad only sees the bad in bikes, and while we did explain to him the safety gear is much better now he doesn't think so. Now having said that.....Zoran sees all scooters as inherently safe, whether it's an antique Vespa or a newer Burgman 650. I've tried to tell him there isn't much difference between the newer scooters and motorcycles, one's automatic and the other is a manual transmission. But in his mind, Mike won't get killed on a scooter like a bike....parents sheesh lol

Freebird if your son has a good head on his shoulders teach him all about the safety and make him wear the gear while he lives with you. Draw up a contract if that makes you feel better.

[BuckShot]

Don, I know how you feel. My son and daughter started riding around 22-23 years old. Son on a sportster without MSF course. Daughter with MSF course on a 650 v-star. I always tell them when they leave to ride smart and safe. They know I'm not preaching because of my 40 yr riding on the road. I do know that the riding has brought the wife and I closer together and now the kids are closer to us because of riding. My son is a member of this site and has made several friends here and loves going to meets with me. He was just down to B2Mom and Dad's with us and really wishes he didn't have to work for MD, because he had a blast last year. It scary and nerve wracking,but with guidence they do turn out to be good riders. I believe that most parents don't show enough interest in what the kids do and when you have a chance to spend quality time with them, you need to take it, My son and I shoot pool, hunt, and shoot guns along with ride together. My daughter and I shoot guns and ride together. The family vacations on the bikes are a blast and time together is well spent and only brings us closer together.

[Guest tx2sturgis]

Sheesh...you'd think that motorcycles had something good about them....whooda thunk it...

 

 

[midnightventure]

It's funny how we can love to ride but at the same time we know how dangerous it is. When I was younger I was almost a motorcycle evangelist. Taught all my sisters and my freinds to ride. Bought my son an 80cc yamaha when he was about 6. He ended up crashing and getting burnt. He still rode it but he would rather ride the gocart. Never did progress to anything bigger. When I bought the Venture Iasked him if he would like my old 650 Maxim. No interest and by then I was older and smarter and new how dangerous they really were so it didn't upset me. Now he is in China and considered riding over there. They are really crazy over there. Luckily he gave up that idea. One suggestion. Think about a Dual Sport. Much more agile than a cruiser. Since I got my DR650 I really wish that I had started on one. I rode mine 670 miles down through Arkansas and Mo this weekend.

[BuddyRich]

Find something better than a 650 v-star. They are ok. But Jude had one and the steering is really a pain in the butt at low speeds. Its worse than the RSV. And its not the rider I assure you. I rode it as we were selling it and wondered how Jude put up with it all that time. It not neutral at all. Might try a Honda Shadow. They have a nice custom look. Then get yourself a set helmet radios and go riding with him on a few rides so you can point of some of the stuff you learned over the years.

[cecdoo]

Bought my son a Yamaha 80 when he was about 8, then a 175 kept him busy till he turned 17. We picked up a nice 650 Maxim that he rode all over. We took a great trip the summer he graduated, all along the east coast. He pretty much has had a bike ever since, all you can do is teach them all you can, then ya gotta turn them loose and hope for the best. By the way, he is 42 now and has a custom Fatboy.

 

Craig

[motorcycle_1300]

Let your sone ride if he wants to but set some rules. he has to pay for everything. First the safety class(you might want to attend that too to see how he does and to unlearn some bad habits( Knew I had some but didn't realize how many I had picked up in 40 years, the safety course helped me get rid of some) but he has to pay for his course, buy the bike(you get veto over his choice)insure the bike and pay for the expenses of ownership. Insist on a family ride one night every one or two weeks(icecream runs seem to work well.You will be able to judge his ability during those rides.

 

Now that I have told you how to raise your kids need any other advice

[Shorty]

I now never incourage anyone to ride a motorcycle, in fact I always tell them "ya got to be a idiot to drive one". I go on and tell them my experiences of being hit by cars twice and being on the pavement three times and being hospitalized from injuries.

 

BUT this is my 52nd year of biking and I don't plan on quitting anytime soon. My mom has been on my case all those 52 years.

 

I got our oldest son who is now 42 and doesn't ride any longer, a YZ 80 when he was about 8 years old. We got a junker and fixed it up together, he and I had a lot of fun out in our property in the country. He moved on to a Mo-Ped and then took over my Honda 450 which he totalled out (Yes he took the Safety Course and I was glad he did because he had a Helmet and Leather Jacket on). And then into 750 Honda, and then a Crotch Rocket which he did insane things with and FINALLY sold it. It was a happy day when he got out of it.

 

Ya gotta let them do their thing BUT steer them towards the Safety thing, give them Fatherly advice, and prayfor their safety.

[mini-muffin]

Since Dylan is short like you Don maybe an 1100 Vstar. Might be a bit more roomy for him. Glad you told him to do the MSF. You shouldn't have too much to worry about he does have a good head on his shoulders. Most of us that have met him have been impressed with him. Good luck to both of you. Bet you thought it was gonna get easier now that he's 19.

Margaret

[Guest scarylarry]

My daughter hated bikes until few months ago and now she wants one..

 

I explain to her the danger and she better not even think of a crochet rocket..

 

WE would pick the bike out SHE would take the course and I agree to pay for it..

 

SHE would ride with me for few months before she went on her own...

 

This is a hard to say, but it is the truth...I explained to her parents don't bury their children...

 

That has been a few weeks ago and not a word since, so we will see since school is over and work has gotten more settle...

 

My daughter has a lot of me in her, and she will wake up and say I want the bike today...I know it is coming...

[Squidley]

As much as your against it bud, he's 19 years old and he's a grown young man now. I can tell you one thing, I have never had the opportunity to ride with my father that rode in the past. he wants to get back into it, and I dearly want to put some miles on with him. Dylan, I imagine, feels that way too, your relationship with him is changing, and as much as you want to protect him, he's gonna go at some point.

Many have mentioned about the MSC, an excellent idea, and one that I might suggest you take with him. get him out in the cage with you and while your driving, point out what others are going to do. You know what I'm talking about, the 6th sense that we on bikes have. You can't preach to him, that will shut him off, and then he'll really do what the hell he wants. Just be honest and voice your concerns, he'll do alright, he's a bright guy and he has had a good role model all these years

[Redneck]

I'm in the same boat. I offered to pay for the msn course and suggested they start with a mid sized cruiser. I don't know what else to do but hope for the best.

[Evan]

Don, my experience is similar to that of many others who have replied. My two daughters are now into their 40's. I had been riding and owned bikes since I turned 16 back in 1963 so by the time my daughters turned 16, I sure knew how much more dangerous it would be for them to ride. But what I couldn't deal with in the end was preventing them from experiencing all the good things that I had experienced as a teenager allowed to have my own bike. So, in the end, I helped them each buy their own bikes and guided them as best I could. With one daughter, I worried every time she left home on her bike. But in my case, I sure got lucky. No accidents and some 25 years later, that experience remainst a source of pride for both of my daughters and it contributed in a significant way to their growth and our relationships. I think the only difference if I were in that situation today is that like you, I would insist on a safety course and do everything I could to keep them away from crotch rockets.

[Guest Swifty]

Now, I don't want to be morbid or anything..........BUT..........I will go against the grain here and express complete understanding and support for Freebird. Hey Buddy, lock 'em and throw away the key until they figure a way to escape! Hopefully, when they do figure it out they'll be over 40 years old, and you'll be looking back over a long long life.

My Dad never rode, my Dad's friends never rode. Us teens started riding minibikes and buying motorbikes totally against our father's collective wishes. There were way too many funerals we attended together. And despite seeing how my Dad's friends suffered having to bury their sons (who were my friends), to this day I cannot figure out why I risked life and limb knowing that if it was me in the casket I couldn't face putting my Dad through that. I only thank God it wasn't me...for my Dad's sake...God rest his soul. And (crossing my fingers) my son has no interest in riding whatsoever. Maybe it was my Dad's fervent prayers at not wanting to face what his friends were facing that kept ME out of the casket. Maybe the good Lord knows that I couldn't pray for my son's safety like my Dad did for me....depending on what you believe about these things. Freebird, you have some deep things to consider here, and I don't disagree with anything other posters have said. All the best to you.

[CalhounWV]

Taking the MSF course is the best advice, my wife started riding her own... make me nervous for her. She is a great rider, but I do worry about the idiots that may endanger her.

 

I would recommend you let him pick out a bike he will ride, and be comfortable on. Anyone can ride any bike like a fool. Instead of steering him to a bike he may or may not find enjoyable to ride..... be the good role model and make him ride with people who will teach him good habits from the start.

 

Ride Safe, Rick.

[cabreco]

Oh thank GOD I'm not alone!

My 17 year old wants to get his MC endorsement as well. He NEVER had much interest even in riding his bicycle too much. He's a wirey kid too (not much for meat on his bones). I really don't like the idea but I ok'd with a few conditions.

 

1. We start with a smaller cruiser 250 - 500 cc

2. He MUST take the safety course

3. He rides with me ONLY for 1 year

4. He pays his own insurance. (I'll probably bite for the bike)

 

I'm not too concerned about his driving as he is VERY conservative behind the wheel...the exact opposite of the speed demon I was, I'm more concerned about the butt heads on the road & his ability to react to their carelessness.

 

I sympathize with you but you are right, it would be very hypocritical of us to object!

Good luck & I hope you keep your sanity~

[BOO]

I had two sons that rode at one time or the other. They also both had crotch rockets at some point or another.

The older boy now soon to be 40 hasn't ridden for years but the younger boy is 34 and still riding. He now has a 1100 Shadow.

I have to tell you I really worried about them when they were out riding but they are both pretty level headed but the biggest scare for me was when the younger one started riding with the old guy (me) That made me more nervous then when he was out riding with his friends. We have put several thousand miles on together now so I'm getting a little more comfortable but it is a little nerve racking.

Good Luck and Ride Safe.

BOO

[ragtop69gs]

My daughter started riding last year at the age of 21. I suggested the MSF course which she took and did very well with. I tried to point her towards a cruiser but she'd have none of that. She did however ask for my help and advise on which bike she should start on, after looking at at least 20 bikes she bought a Suzuki GS500F, it's light, easy to handle, not too fast for a beginner and sits more like a sport tourer than a crotch rocket. Were I to have argued about her choice of bikes she'd have gone and got whatever and gone off riding on her own. For the first month she agreed to only ride with me along. I taught her lane placement and all the other things she'd need to survive on these crazy roads.

 

I must say, she has become a pretty darn good rider and does ride with safety in mind. she's been with two boyfriends who are new riders and both have been down or dropped their bikes, Sarah has done neither. All our years of snowmobiling had prepared her for the move to two wheels. She's rode sleds since she was big enough to squeeze the throttle of the Kitty Kat snowmobile I bought her when she was 5 years old.

 

She took her first multi-day ride this past weekend and had a ball.