An Oldie but a Goodie

[SilvrT]

This is a true story from the WordPerfecthelpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currentlysuing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

 

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect CustomerSupport employee with a caller:

 

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

 

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

 

"What sort of trouble?"

 

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

 

"Went away?"

 

"They disappeared."

 

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

 

"Nothing."

 

"Nothing?"

 

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

 

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

 

"How do I tell?"

 

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

 

"What's a sea-prompt?"

 

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

 

"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

 

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

 

"What's a monitor?"

 

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

 

"I don't know."

 

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

 

"Yes, I think so."

 

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

 

".......Yes, it is."

 

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

 

"No."

 

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

 

".......Okay, here it is."

 

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

 

"I can't reach."

 

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

 

"No."

 

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

 

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

 

"Dark?"

 

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

 

"Well, turn on the office light then."

 

"I can't."

 

"No? Why not?"

 

"Because there's a power outage."

 

"A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

 

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

 

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

 

"Really? Is it that bad?"

 

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

 

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

 

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

[Marcarl]

That last line got me,,,,,, but then I know somebody who's car wouldn't start and they towed it for 1\2 hour before they realized it was out of gas!

[Carbon_One]

That last line got me,,,,,, but then I know somebody who's car wouldn't start and they towed it for 1\2 hour before they realized it was out of gas!

 

That's almost as bad as a bike not starting cause someone left the kill switch on. :rotf:

[Yammer Dan]

That's almost as bad as a bike not starting cause someone left the kill switch on. :rotf:

 

 

:bang head::bang head:

[Pegasus1300]

I saw this when I first got internet access back in the ninties.I was funney then and it is even funnier now as I have a son who is a software engineer and has run into people this unaware when taking a stint on his company's help desk.I wish I could remember some of the stories he has told me.

[SilvrT]

I saw this when I first got internet access back in the ninties.I was funney then and it is even funnier now as I have a son who is a software engineer and has run into people this unaware when taking a stint on his company's help desk.I wish I could remember some of the stories he has told me.

 

yep, that's where I first came across this one ...

 

About 10 years ago I was teaching a Windows course to a bunch of sawmill office workers. As they were all on a network, they had to have usernames and passwords. In addition, some of their other programs required a login with a password. I was elaborating a bit about the kinds of passwords you shouldn't use and, to consider using only one password for each of their logins to make it easier to remember.

 

This one lady piped up and said she has 10 different passwords that she uses and has no trouble remembering them. I asked her how she managed to remember them all and her answer .... are you ready for this? .... she said "I keep them all on a sticky note which is stuck to my monitor" ... :doh:

[Kirby]

That's almost as bad as a bike not starting cause someone left the kill switch on. :rotf:

 

I remember someone having this problem!! I can't say his name but his initials were Ted Eyster.:rasberry::banana::stickpoke::rotf:

[saddlebum]

That last line got me,,,,,, but then I know somebody who's car wouldn't start and they towed it for 1\2 hour before they realized it was out of gas!

Your legs must have been some tired after towing it for 1/2 an hour.:rotfl:

[M61A1MECH]

I always liked the one where the guy thought the CD player was a cup holder.

[greg_in_london]

Iworked one place where they had a policy that you had to have a password

 

• between eight and fifteen characters (or some such)
  
• included any three out of upper case letters, lower case letters, numbers and special characters
  
• did not include any recogniseable words
  
• did not include any sequences of characters used in previous passwords
  
• and was changed every month.
  

This was just to turn the workstation on and do ANY work.

 

 

They could retrieve/reset passwords, but it could take a day or two.

 

 

 

And they seriously expected people to be able to remember these regularly changing random strings without writing them down !!!

 

 

These numpties who think they know about security who won't let you use your own system for passwords on your 60th password of the day (have you ever sat down and worked out how many different passwords you're supposed to have, including PINs and access codes - anybody get to over 100 ?)

[Marcarl]

Your legs must have been some tired after towing it for 1/2 an hour.:rotfl:

It's wasn't me towing it, I was 100 miles away, but my sister is married to him. On another note, I also remember pushing a bike across our yard because the battery was dead,,, but that is another story,, although it did include VentureRiders with tired legs and an almost dry tank.

[Rick Haywood]

That's almost as bad as a bike not starting cause someone left the kill switch on. :rotf:

 

Did you learn that from experience???

[SilvrT]

I always liked the one where the guy thought the CD player was a cup holder.

 

Remember the old 5 1/4 inch floppys? I had a customer who thought the slot in her computer was for a CD. She called me one day and said she couldn't get her CD to work and now it was stuck.

 

Well, you guessed it. When I arrived there, the CD was jammed into the 5 1/4 floppy drive slot...

[Flyinfool]

I always figured that these stories from computer help desks were just made up stuff.

 

After all, no one can possibly be that clueless.

 

Until my mother called me to find out what to do because the mouse pointer was in the middle of the screen but the mouse was all the way to the very right edge of the desk and she needed to click on something on the right edge of the screen.

 

I now have to believe every single one of the stories I hear from the help desks.

Including this one.

[kevin-vic-b.c.]

That's almost as bad as a bike not starting cause someone left the kill switch on. :rotf:

 

Seen that a number of times in NACAR races..... IT happens