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Posted (edited)

Setting here day after day after day staring at the same four walls day in and day out something has to snap. Tonight it snapped, and I cut loose. No food, no money I said to hell with it and went shopping, I have check protection with my credit union so every bad check I write only costs me $20 more. I went to the grocery store and bought $174 worth of food so we didn't have to live on roman noodles for the rest of the month. I went 11 days being so sick I could barely get out of bed before I broke down and went to the Doctor that I could not afford and found out I have a lung and sinus infection which is the reason I could hardly breathe and had such god awful headaches and then had to pay him and then pay for prescriptions. Then today if it could go bad it went bad, I came home after writing a bad check for food to have my Daughter waiting for me crying that her knee hurt. Why did her knee hurt? She used the small step latter we have to try and get something off the top shelve in her bedroom at the bigger mobile home we just moved into and evidently she didn't lock the latter into place because it folded up on her and she fell (she is OK thankfully because as of Oct 1st the state of Michigan felt she no longer qualified for health insurance ) and put her knee threw the wall in her room and fell across the cable hook up for her TV and ripped it out the back of the TV. So I go and escape tonight to the local bar and spend $40 drinking jack and coke and talking with friends and strangers over 13 years old just to get away from it all. So now I will beat myself to death for the rest of the month because I spent $40 on myself and wrote a bad check for food that will set me back at the first of the month when I get my next disability check. You all need to take a careful look at how you are prepared for life, I thought I had everything taking care of, but one fall down the basement stairs changed my life forever, insurance and the government will make sure you loose everything you saved and have before they lift a finger in your behave. No Christmas tree this year because there is no presents to put under it. I have to keep the internet going because the schools don't supply books anymore and my Daughter has to go on line for homework, have to pay rent to keep a roof over our heads, got to pay consumers to have heat and power, have to pay for water and sewer and garbage pickup, need to pay insurance to drive, need to pay medicade for insurance and silverstone for prescriptions just like any one of you do. So now I will spend the rest of the month hating myself for spending $40 stinking dollars on myself instead of setting at home going nuts. Lot of people do not understand (like I didn't) what it means to be broke, not the broke that you used up you allotted money for the month and you can just get more out of the bank or the credit card, but the kind of broke that there is just no more money to get. How do you decide what to write a bad check for, for food or for a winter coat, boots and gloves. She just will have to be cold going and coming to and from school but she will have food to eat.

Guess I have ranted enough even though it's only a fraction of what I want to be able to say, but it sucks when you realize that you used to go to bed praying that things will be better or not worse tomorrow to going to bed wishing you don't wake up the next morning.

Thanks for being there to let me rant.....Karl.

Edited by KarlS
Posted

I can't imagine the pain that your situation causes. I look around and am thankful that there is a roof over and a floor under, but given circumstances it could all change quickly. Put you self in God's hands and maybe you will get some relief. He has made differences in my life when I asked for help.

 

:farmer:

Posted

Been there Karl, so I understand what you are going thru. A word of caution, it has a snowball effect. I agree wholeheartedly with Sylvester as He has changed me from destitute and desperate to secure and comfortable. The important thing is you are alive and you and your daughter have each other. Your rant is a good thing as it gives you an opportunity to vent. Don't ever be afraid or ashamed to reach out for a helping hand both physically and spiritually my friend...

Posted

Karl,

I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time. It's a terrible place to be in anytime and especially this time of the year. You have been around for a long time and have never, still haven't, asked for anything but I would like to help a little. It won't be much but I know that anything will help.

Posted

Dont beat yourself up Karl, life can and will do that all by itself. Your doing what you have to do and Abby is in a far better place than where she was. I can understand where your coming from, having lost everything we worked for, albeit not to the extent your at. It's hard, at times, to listen to the cliche statements of hang in there or it will get better, when your living it and it doesn't seem to ease up. Never loose hope, not to be preachy, but the spirit upstairs has a plan and it is working like it is planned to. My heart aches for you my friend, I know you and your not a person to be lazy. Life has just thrown you some very hard curve balls and your down on your luck a bit....it will get better, just remember that you have Abby, and after all, she is the best gift you can have....All the best bro.

Posted

Folks, I just called Karl and talked to him for a few minutes. He is obviously way down in the dumps but he also has a lot of pride. I basically convinced him to not let his pride get in the way of accepting whatever help that we can offer. He is supposed to PM me his PaPal address. I will let you all know what it is just as soon as I have it.

 

Sometimes good people just need a bit of help. I know that money is tight for everybody but any help will be appreciated.

Posted

I can remember what fun it was to throw all the bills in a hat and see who got lucky that month!! It ain't been that long that I went a year without a paycheck!! Gives you a whole different outlook. Things are starting to get back to normal here. I was very lucky!! Hang in there Karl!!

Posted

Karl, I still remember when I was down like you and had nothing left, what I did sometimes was go down to the check store and get like $200 from them, and then you write them a check for I think $230.00 for that loan , then they cash that check a couple weeks later. that way your not always paying the bank for over draft charges. that seems to add up to a lot after a while , just a thought until your next check comes in , I also use to go down to the local church or food bank and they would give me food that lasted me a whole week...I had to leave my pride behind, felt strange but in the end it all worked out.

I also left you a little Xmas present in your paypal.

not much, but hope it helps you and daughter out a little.

Jeff

Posted
OK folks, here is Karls address for those of you who would like to help. I'm sorry to see him having such a hard time but thankful for the opportunity to help one who is in need.

 

ic23b@yahoo.com

I also would like to help out a bit. I know how important Christmas is to children as I have two. A 6 year old and a 12 year old. I went to that link but I dont know how to send a donation. Can someone walk me through it? Thanks Rob

Posted

Karl,

Just sent a paypal your way. It isn't much but I hope it helps. If everyone here sends a little it can go a long way. Keep your chin up, it will get better.

Posted

Merry Christmas to you and your daughter Karl. May the new year be a much kinder one to you.

We sent a little something as well. Just remember that's what family does for each other. In the future when you are up and running again you can pay it forward.

:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:

Margaret

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