Worst Present

[halfwitt]

Reading the humor forum reminded me of this...

 

One year a couple years after we were married and with infant twins at home, my wife said, "Don't get me anything for Christmas. We don't really have extra money right now." Well, I can't not get her anything so I figured I would get her several small items. I picked up several trinkets. I don't remember anything I got for her except for one item. I went into Bath and Body Works and picked up one of those $5 bars of soap. She likes the bubble bath thing. I figured a $5 bar of soap must be pretty good! Well, Christmas Eve and we're opening presents. I see her set this little box aside. I immediately started to sweat. Sure enough she saves it for last. She opens it slowly. "SOAP????!!!!" I said, "Hey you didn't want me to get you ANYTHING." She says again, "SOAP????" Never lived that one down. I did tell her to never again tell me not to buy her something!

 

What is the worst gift you ever gave/received?

[rosebud]

The worst present I ever got was a WOK - I wanted a red sweater. But, no, I got something to cook for the family with. I still bring it up.

My oldest daughter has had present discussions with her boyfriend. She has had to explain to him that a new vacuum cleaner is not a acceptable gift for her birthday.

[Orrin]

Never buy a woman anything with a cord on it!!!!!!!!

 

It's not a present. Don't ask how I know that!

[Just-Jack]

Well I didnt get this for Christmas but for an anniversary present...a Dremel....it was a bad present at the time but ask the hubby how many times I have polished his bike with it.....I like it now but let me tell you I was not happy at the time

Jessie:2132:

[kantornado]

The worst gift was a book written by a person who hates AMERICA........................Ron

[RedRider]

The worst present I ever got was a WOK - I wanted a red sweater. But, no, I got something to cook for the family with. I still bring it up.

 

My oldest daughter has had present discussions with her boyfriend. She has had to explain to him that a new vacuum cleaner is not a acceptable gift for her birthday.

 

One of my favorite gifts for Christmas was a Wok. It is black with use (after about ten or so years). It lasted longer, and was more reliable than my first wife!!

 

RR

[mini-muffin]

Jeff is pretty good now, but he's bought some odd stuff over the years. On his way back from going to Disney with my daughter (for a band trip) he decided I always wanted one of those cinnamon broomstick things you hang on the wall. Not sure where he got that idea. He's also gotten a few other things and swore I liked them when I saw them in the store. Of course I don't ever remember these things in the store or saying I liked them.

God bless men they really can be clueless.

 

Margaret

[Sleeperhawk]

Hey, I got Mechanic something and it does not have a motor or wheels, but is shiny.

 

[Thom]

i got 2 elac. twin size blankets for a wedding gift from my mother , you can guess what she thought of my 1st wife :rotfl:

[BOO]

Wellllll, had to bring this subject up didn't you.

First year we were married I bought the wife pj"s. Now you have to understand that I am very cheap and at the time I was very poor. Also I had never bought any clothes for anyone before including myself. My Mommy did all that for me so I had no clue as far as size was concerned.

I bought her bright red XL pj's. She weighted about 110lbs. So I am in trouble enough with the sized but the color washed out the first time it was washed.

The Second year was the Vacuum cleaner year, off to a real start eh?

Of course she never lets me forget those things.

A few years ago when I bought the RSV 3 or 4 days before Christmas I decided I should buy something nice for my wife. Bought her a real nice diamond ring but she said I bought it because I was feeling guilty, hardly ever wears it.........Bottom line here though, no guilt from this guy.

Been married for 40 years so I'm still trying.......

Jerry

[BOO]

Hey, I got Mechanic something and it does not have a motor or wheels, but is shiny.

 

 

George,

You buying chrome again?

Jerry

[mraf]

Worst gift I ever received was one of those pictures with two waterfalls and the water that looks like it is running. Add insult to injury it all so plays running water and bird sounds. TALK ABOUT ANNOYING! The worst gift I ever gave my wife was a Eppilady. It's supposed to remove hair. Let me tell you the first time she tried to use it she screamed like holy h--l! I told her to buck up it couldn't hurt that bad. So she turned it on and held it on the top of my arm. EEEEOOOOOWWWW! THAT BABY WENT BACK TO THE STORE!

[BradT]

Worst gift I ever received was one of those pictures with two waterfalls and the water that looks like it is running. Add insult to injury it all so plays running water and bird sounds. TALK ABOUT ANNOYING! The worst gift I ever gave my wife was a Eppilady. It's supposed to remove hair. Let me tell you the first time she tried to use it she screamed like holy h--l! I told her to buck up it couldn't hurt that bad. So she turned it on and held it on the top of my arm. EEEEOOOOOWWWW! THAT BABY WENT BACK TO THE STORE!

 

MRAF - Now this was Funny.

 

Naugh-T tells me the worst gift I gave her was a Mother-in-law.

 

PS : I Did the Vaccum thing as well, but she asked for this, just did not want it for Mothers day .

 

Brad

[hipshot]

speaking from experience! the very WORST gift you can give your wife, is a card with CASH, in it!

you get called all kind of ugly names , for not being sensitive enough to "know what she really wanted". yeah! like i have been a practicing physic for my whole life!

if a woman wants something specific, why don't they just come right out and tell us???????

oh , and don't go the EXPENSIVE perfume route either!!!

don't ask me how i know that!

just jt

[TEW47]

Well, I guess the worst gift I got was this year playing dirty Santa, a jar of "PICKLED PIGS LIPS". It was packed in Amite, LA. My wife won't get near it. One day I will try it, I think.

 

tew47

[Sailor]

Can't remember it all now but when my eldest son got married I wrote him a letter which said he had now entered the world of "Femspeak" and nothing would ever be the same again. In femspeak "NO" means "wait until I decide". "Yes" means "maybe" unless it means something else. "Maybe" means I am going to leave you dangling for a while just for the fun of it.

Guys, never believe anything they say, just do the best you can and hope for the best. Usualy they are quite forgiving, especialy if there is jewelry or a spa treatment involved.

[dray]

well now lets be honest the worst gift i ever got was all the time birthdays and Christmas or for what ever reason they thought i needed more of it was Avon Wild Country Aftershave! I had a big box of this stuff and it stinks so one year i opened up the big box and gave it all back to everyone who ever gave it to me yep gave them all back there bottles they gave me some with tags still on it

yep it worked that was the last year i never got another bottle of that stuff and no one said a word about getting a gift back that they had bought me.

 

so if you get something you never want again just give it back to them next year

[dr.nemo]

Ok my sister and her husband came up with 2 dvd's for me... first one was an encyclopedia type thing about house cats.....(because we had some cats in the house) and I must have said that I enjoyed cooking too at sometime, cause yep I got a cooking dvd as well...I am a real handy kinda guy, interests are old cars, bikes boats, etc... and those dvds were what they came up with. We now only buy for each others kids now...

[Bret in Houston]

On her first birthday after we got married I bought her a popcorn popper. We were struggling to get by on Army pay at that time and things were tight so I went with something I thought she wanted. Turned out she wanted it but not for her Birthday. Have heard about it a few times in the last 23 years, but I think we will make it.

[Eck]

My worst present ever recevied was a cheap, clear, plastic box with a sap on lid.

Inside were (3) "small" clear plastic bottles with screw on caps, one for soap, shampoo, and conditioner. A small sample bottle of mouth wash, a kids tooth brush, and a small sample tube of toothpaste..

This was a "package deal" that was purchased from the dollar store, and the dollar store price tag was still on it...$1.00

It was a childs toy type "travel bag"........

Now here is the real kicker..

It was given to (us) from a "well to do" neighbor...who we exchanged gifts with for years..

needless to say, that was the last year we ever exchanged gifts..

Oh, we got them a BBQ grillware set, a full tank of gas for thier grill, a three pack of BBQ sauses, and a gift certificate for $25.00 at Wal-mart...

What an even exchange huh.......

Damn, I feel cheated..but hey, they say its the thought that counts...

(BS........!!!!!!!!! )

[Royal Venturer]

One time before Christmas came, the wife, while strolling through a mall, mentioned she'd like a warm jacket......a little longer than most...like down to her thighs or so.

Well, I shopped around....which i hate doing, and found nothing. Then a lady I knew at work mentioned after I told of my delimma, a store that might have what I'm looking for. I went there and sure enough they had a very nice coat, fur collar, long, lots of pockets and a nice color....matched her eyes.

That xmas morning while the kids opened their stuff I held back the present to the very last for her. The kids had finished, I was done and we all gathered around her to watch her open her last gift. She went thru unwrapping like she was recieving a gift of a Fabrege egg. she took the coat out of the box and held it up. A twinkle in her, the kids all going " how cool mom" and I sitting there so proud that I'd finally pulled one off. She then looked in the collar at the label.......she started to change colors...her demeanor was definitely being altered. I'd seen this look before and knew things were not well in the kingdom.......She slowly turned to me and said "Lane Bryant?"

 

Lane Bryant is a store for "plus" sized women.

I thought the ladies working in the store were a little large.....ohhh crap!!!!!!

[a1bummer]

What was the worst thing I ever got for Christmas? Nothing! I grew up with one of those religions where we had no Christmas, Birthdays, Halloween, Valentines day, etc... etc... etc. Talk about painting a bullseye target on a kid to get him picked on! Now days I'm happy as hell to get longjohns and wool socks.

[oldandcrotchety]

Fortunately, I have always had a talent for picking out the perfect gift for my wife. One that will be sure to bring tears of gratitude and amazement that I could be so thoughtful. My wife, on the other hand seems to lack that ability to get it just right. Oh she tries, but always fall s just a little short. I will give a few examples. One year I bought her a 12 pack of pot scrubbers. Not the generic ones, but genuine 3M. She bought me a 12 gauge shotgun. It was a nice gun and all, but would it have killed her to include a hardcase, too? Then one year I bought her a whole case of Comet cleanser. The big economy size. What did she get me? A 300 piece Craftsman tool set. Oh, sure, I guess they could be considered useful, but she didn't even bother to properly arrange the tools in the tool box before she wrapped it. And what about the time I got her a carwash mitt, and she got me a Diawa fishing reel? Did she really expect me to put the new reel on my old rod? The Browning Boron rods were on sale for only 149.95 and would have really gone well with the reel. And as much as much as she appreciated the dish drainer, you would have thought she could have done better than just getting me a new Pentax 35mm camera. But as always, she never even gave a thought to a tripod, soft case or telephoto lense. I tell you, some people are just plain inconsiderate......

[Iowa Guy]

The worst present was one that I neither gave or received. We were all sitting around the tree on christmas morning after polishing off a huge breadfast. All the kids were there, big and small along with Grampa and Gramma. My wife begins to open a small box she says from me. I didn't remember wrapping up a small box that year but hey, my memory has never been very good. She pealed the paper back, peaked inside, looked at me then turned a bright shade of red and said she'd look at it later. Everyone wanted to know what it was (including me by the way) but she wouldn't give it up, keeping the package firmly wedged in the crack of the sofa. Later she wanted to know what I might have been thinking to give her edible panties wrapped under the tree. It seems some friends of ours had made the purchase and placed them their as a joke.

 

Paybacks can be a *^%#*. This year they don't know it yet but their front yard is going to be the city's official christmas tree reclamation collection point. Could be good for a few hundred trees.

 

Merry Christmas to all:snow2:

[SilvrT]

Fortunately, I have always had a talent for picking out the perfect gift for my wife. One that will be sure to bring tears of gratitude and amazement that I could be so thoughtful. My wife, on the other hand seems to lack that ability to get it just right. Oh she tries, but always fall s just a little short. I will give a few examples. One year I bought her a 12 pack of pot scrubbers. Not the generic ones, but genuine 3M. She bought me a 12 gauge shotgun. It was a nice gun and all, but would it have killed her to include a hardcase, too? Then one year I bought her a whole case of Comet cleanser. The big economy size. What did she get me? A 300 piece Craftsman tool set. Oh, sure, I guess they could be considered useful, but she didn't even bother to properly arrange the tools in the tool box before she wrapped it. And what about the time I got her a carwash mitt, and she got me a Diawa fishing reel? Did she really expect me to put the new reel on my old rod? The Browning Boron rods were on sale for only 149.95 and would have really gone well with the reel. And as much as much as she appreciated the dish drainer, you would have thought she could have done better than just getting me a new Pentax 35mm camera. But as always, she never even gave a thought to a tripod, soft case or telephoto lense. I tell you, some people are just plain inconsiderate......

 

:rotf: