Drafting guys over 60

[dingy]

"Drafting Guys Over 60"

 

This is funny& obviously written by a former soldier...

 

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

 

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing bass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year old's off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 55.

 

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

 

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill somebody that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..

 

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-gun.

 

If captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

 

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, Away from the screaming and yelling.

 

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, Nor did I ever do any pushups After completing basic training.

 

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

 

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

 

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

 

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old buggers with attitudes and automatic weapons, Who know that their best years Are already behind them.

 

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...In menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

 

Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.

[saddlebum]

YEH lets hear it for grey power >!!!

 

And regarding menopause ...just try decoding that one....Apaches move over. Not to mention, What else in this world ..could go from ...zero to itchy-B in less then 0.02 seconds......Gotta go go now the Mrs just walked in

[RandyR]

Lets see, where did I put that pin for the hand grenade ????

[mini-muffin]

Hey sounds good to me. I got a gun already as long as they provide the bullets.

 

Margaret

[RandyR]

Hey sounds good to me. I got a gun already as long as they provide the bullets.

 

Margaret

 

Redheads aren't issued ammo.

[mini-muffin]

WHAT!!!! What do you mean I won't get any ammo? Somebody is gonna have to pay for that one.

 

 

 

I really am very sweet. I AM :whistling:don't argue with me. :crackup:

 

Margaret

[Yammer Dan]

Fight Terrorists or face the Wardens list.... Where do I sign up!!

[oldgoat]

Lets see, where did I put that pin for the hand grenade ???? well i do recall the DI saying pull pin and throw. never did understand why he hit the ground when i did what he said?

[Yammer Dan]

Lets see, where did I put that pin for the hand grenade ???? well i do recall the DI saying pull pin and throw. never did understand why he hit the ground when i did what he said?

 

 

 

He didn't tell you where to throw it??

[Trader]

Mum and Dad were married for just over 62 years when Mum died.

They met when they were both in the army.

 

Dad was a Grenadier Guard and was assigned to be an "armed escort" for my Mum, who was a driver in the Women's army (the ATS) in England (so yes, my mother DID wear army boots!).

She often had to deliver secret documents etc.

 

It's a family joke that he was not issued ANY ammunition. All show and no go as it were.

 

Even in guard duty, Dad got in trouble for not challanging the sargent major with the proper "Halt! Who goes there? Advance and be recognized"

 

The officer asked Dad "what if I was a German soldier?"

 

Dad answered "if you were a german soldier I wouldn't be here! I don't have any bullets in my gun!"

 

I think he said that one was good for a month of KP

[rumboogy]

Ya know...it almost makes sense. Seriously.

 

Of course, instead of the Dirty Dozen, it might be more like the Dirty Diapered Dozen!