The purina diet (just for you Big Tom)

[saddlebum]

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Curley, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have

little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,

because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50

pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's BUTT and a car hit us both.

 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was

laughing so hard.

 

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

 

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

I guess why thats what makes Marcarl so appealing to us:witch_brew:

Edited January 24, 2011 by saddlebum

[Marcarl]

HEY!!!!!!!!!!! how did I get into this story,,,,,, did I do something to you???? next you're going to let the cat out of the bag and tell them who's b,,,,, oh never mind, you would never tell that story anyways!!!!!

[Yammer Dan]

I told the Warden about that diet. Her only reply was "I believe that!!":confused24:

[dray]

I told the Warden about that diet. Her only reply was "I believe that!!":confused24:

 

 

so she believed the part about sniffin the setters butttttt

 

yep me too!

 

Dray:moon:

[PBJ]

I thought you were going to end the story telling them that you git attacked by hungry dogs on the way home. But your answer was better.

 

You"re right though we retired people d have waaaaaay too much time on our hands.