GOLF

[6pak]

Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls.

 

 

 

 

Eight Iron

 

Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took

his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball.

After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something

glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an

eight iron in the hands of a skeleton!

Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!"

"What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.

"Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "You can't get out of here with

an eight iron.

 

 

The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.

"Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor.

"P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied.

"Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely

a vain attempt to do the same thing."

=

 

 

The owner of a golf course was confused about

paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his

secretary for some mathematical help. He called

her into his office and said, 'You graduated from

the University of Tennessee and I need some help.

If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how

much would you take off?' She replied: "Everything but my ear rings!"

=

 

 

Fore!

My five-year-old nephew wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game.

"You have to count my strokes," my brother told him.

"How much is six plus nine plus eight?"

"Five," answered the nephew.

"Okay," my brother said, "let's go."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of

tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.

Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing

left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins.

And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.

If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain,

the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before

taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.

The term 'mulligan' is really a contraction of the

phrase 'maul it again.'

A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement

between two golfers ... neither of whom

can putt very well.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter

how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.

Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out

and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and

miss every green. The next day you go out and

for no reason at all you really stink.

If your best shots are the practice swing and

the 'gimme putt', you might wish to reconsider

this game.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared

opponent is you.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too

seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

=

 

 

 

Scratch Golfer

Two women were put together as partners in the club tournament and

met on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the first golfer

asked, "What's your handicap?"

"Oh, I'm a scratch golfer," the other replied.

"Really!" exclaimed the first woman suitably impressed that she was

paired up with her.

"Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones!"

[sarges46]

As a bad golfer who just cant give up the game...I like this post!

 

We are leaving for the Dominican tomorrow....we are taking our clubs with us!

[Mel]

Wow, and no USAF jokes either!

[6pak]

Hey, I can't joke about the air force and golf. I was Army, my brother was Air Force. i have never beaten him on the course.

[Mel]

Hey, I can't joke about the air force and golf. I was Army, my brother was Air Force. i have never beaten him on the course.

 

Have you taken him on an obstacle course?

[Nighthawk II]

I played the obstacle course at Ft. Bragg when I was stationed there. That is a tough course, you wouldn't believe how many people I had to let play through.:rotfl: