Military Rules!!

[Snaggletooth]

These next few posts were sent to me by one of my oldest friends, a 20 yr. Marine.

 

Marine Rules

 

1.Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

 

2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.

 

3. Have a plan.

 

4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.

 

5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

 

6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a '4.'

 

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life isexpensive.

 

8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)

 

9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

 

10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

 

11. Alwayscheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one in which you lose.

 

12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber,stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

 

13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Edited January 20, 2011 by Snaggletooth

[Snaggletooth]

Navy SEALS’ Rules:

 

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.

 

2. Kill every living thing within view.

 

3. Adjust Speedo.

 

4. Check hair in mirror.

[Snaggletooth]

US Army Rangers’ Rules:

 

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.

 

2. Locate individuals requiring killing.

 

3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing.

 

4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.

 

5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

[Snaggletooth]

US Army Rules:

 

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.

 

2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.

 

3. Curse bitterly.

 

4. Curse bitterly.

 

5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed.

 

6. Curse bitterly.

[Snaggletooth]

US Air Force Rules:

 

1. Have a cocktail.

 

2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.

 

3. See what's on HBO.

 

4. Ask 'What is a gunfight?'

 

5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Point presentation.

 

6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.

 

7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.

 

8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally.

 

9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.

 

10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.

[Snaggletooth]

US Navy Rules:

 

1. Go to Sea.

 

2. Drink Coffee.

 

3. Deploy Marines

[Mel]

Just wondering. What branch of our military were you in and when?

 

[Gamecock]

And while all the other branches are "practicing" the COAST GUARD goes to work everyday! US Coast Guard...saving dumba**es since 1790!

 

Semper Paratus...Always Ready!

 

 

Ben

[Bubber]

OH Boy!

I hear them all lining up to fight about this one.

I'll be over by my bowl minding my own business till the dust settles.

 

Bubber

[GolfVenture]

Yep, thats why I joined the Air Force. Now where did I put that new putter.

[SC89Venture]

I will be safe and admire and respect every one of them. They all are my heroes!!

 

[Steel Horse Cowboy]

Just wondering. What branch of our military were you in and when?

 

 

I'm asking the same question as Mel.

[rumboogy]

Proudly served (prouder now than then) in the United States Navy.

1973-1977

Great Lakes, IL Boot Camp and Corpsman School

Beaufort, SC Naval Hospital (and some duty at Parris Island)

Oakland, CA Oaknoll Naval Hospital (Laboratory Tech Training)

Charleston, SC Charleston Naval Hospital

 

Yes, I drink coffee.

[T.J.]

Just wondering. What branch of our military were you in and when?

 

Chances are he never came close nor has he had any family serving in our military. He doesn't have a clue.

[MikeZ06Allen]

I concur

[dingy]

The 1st & 6th post are so true it hurts from laughing so much !!

 

OO-RAH Marine Corps

 

Gary

[Yammer Dan]

Fair is a place you go to play games!!

US ARMY RECON!!

I don't play games.

[KarlS]

I thought it was funny. Of course I was a Jar Head. :rotf::rotf:

[OB-1]

What's the difference between the Air Force and the Boy Scouts? The Boy Scouts have adult leaders and Air Force has better toys.

 

Boy Scouts of America: 68-75

U.S. Air Force: 75-84

USAF Contractor: 85-86

Civilian: 87 to present

[w.steve wells]

air force 1974-1980 was proud to do so then and respect those that do so now:bobby:

[BuddyRich]

I was just gonna add.

USAF "Don't jump outta perfectly good airplanes"

[dingy]

This will irritate a couple of previous posters, tough turds.

 

I will preface this with a little background:

 

! helped bury a second cousin who had half his face blown off in Afghanistan last year.

 

I had an uncle killed in WWII in Europe that was a pilot.

 

I have a very close cousin who served on the carrier Kennedy during Vietnam.

 

My brother was in the navy in submarines

 

His son was a tail boomer on a CK130 and flew in several conflicts.

 

Another niece was an Air Force officer, a nephew an Air Force Sergent.

 

I was in the USMC during Vietnam.

 

I do have a little bit of military background with the previous history.

 

What is your point in questioning if the original poster was in the military.

 

He prefaced the first post by saying it was from a close friend that served with the Marines. Obviously, the post was Marine oriented. But it was still a joke.

 

Some of the jokes were somewhat close to the truth though. But then I am biased.

 

Do you have to be a democrat to tell Obama jokes?

 

Do you have to be gay to tell gay jokes?

 

Just because someone that doesn't have a military service icon in their listing doesn't mean they didn't serve in some form or have a family member who did. There are some that don't want to remember what they went through.

 

Do you get my point yet.

 

Gary

[mmoffitt]

USAF 1993-present. VERY proud and honored to be allowed to serve the greatest country in the world. I'd like to make a few points:

 

1. Many probably don't know how much those of us in the services that don't see much of the direct action on the front lines truly respect those that do.

 

2. Most jokes about the AF (and other services for that matter) hit pretty close to home sometimes

 

3. In reference to number 1 & 2, recent history has seen MANY more AF members serving in non-traditional AF roles. For example, my good friend just got back and he was station with an Army contingent often leading convoys or a gunner in the convoy. I've hear more and more instances of this lately...so some members may take those jokes more personally than others because their experience.

 

I personally take the jokes very well because I know the contribution I make and it matters very little to me what others think...

 

I'm a proud American, a proud AF member, a proud Father and a proud Christian...what more could I want from life?

[Snaggletooth]

Just wondering. What branch of our military were you in and when?

 

 

For those of you that asked that question........what does it matter? But to answer it, no, I have never served in the Armed Forces.

 

First of all it was clearly stated in the opening sentence "From a 20 yr. Marine" and of all the silly places to post it.....in the Humor Forum. I have to ask what upstanding Marine would pass a chance to take a dig at the other branches of the Armed Forces?

 

I don't get it? Yeah right. Dad was a hardcore Navy, Uncle was career Army, neighbor next door was a lifer Marine and his son, the 20 year Marine was the one that sent these posts to me. Been around military folks all my life. I get it!

 

When I shared meals with my friend, his Dad, his family....Grace always ended with Amen, Semper Fi. That taught me that his family was much larger than the table we were sitting at. How can you not respect that?

 

So with that said.....try to laugh once in while. Or if it chaps that bad, try a lil less starch in your skivies.

 

It's called humor folks.

[Art708]

I'm retired Navy and I took it in the context that it was written....it's funny stuff. Lighten up guys and laugh , it's good for you. I spent time with the Navy and more time as a Marine FMF corpsman. It gave me a lot of laughs.