Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

[wild hair 39]

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

http://f814.mail.yahoo.com/ya/download?mid=1%5f499086%5fAIjHjkQAAEg0TRKwjQOVXiPOwz8&pid=2.2&fid=Inbox&inline=1

. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

 

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

 

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

 

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

 

5. Write partner's name on your hand in

case you can't remember.

 

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

 

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..

 

8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.

 

9. If it works, call everyone you know

10. Don't even think about trying it twice. .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...! . . . . . . . . . . .

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN....

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .

 

'OLD' IS WHEN..

'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..

 

'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.

(I sent this in large type so you can read it)

 

 

lowell

[mini-muffin]

So what are you trying to tell us Lowell? :rotf:

 

Margaret

[Yammer Dan]

I'll just stay in my corner!! Too much effort to get out!!!

[Marcarl]

Old is when you read all that twice, and then can't remember if you're at the start or the finish.

[Kregerdoodle]

Huh??? now where was I ???

 

 

 

Old is when you read all that twice, and then can't remember if you're at the start or the finish.

[saddlebum]

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

Pace yourself. . . .set your rythm to the chimes of the church bell

P/S make sure there are no icecream or tool sharping trucks in the area

:rotfl:

[dray]

Pace yourself. . . .set your rythm to the chimes of the church bell

 

 

 

P/S make sure there are no icecream or tool sharping trucks in the area

 

:rotfl:

 

 

 

 

He was fine till the Fire Truck went BY!!!!!

[Sailor]

Old is when.......when.....er....what?

 

Beware the church bells! It was noon and my ex wife and I had just arrived in Inverness, Scotland, and were in our third floor room directly across the street from a majestic old cathedral. We decided to celebrate our arrival by.....well...you know. Just at the appropriate (or inappropriate) moment the cathedral boomed out with a chorus of " Onward Christian Soldiers". We were both laughing so hard it was game over.

[Rick Haywood]

Old is when you read all that twice, and then can't remember if you're at the start or the finish.

 

 

Hmmm I don't remember if I read it the first time

[Flyinfool]

hey!

I resemble this post......

[zooer]

Anybody seen my pills, or remember where I live?