rules of michigan

[dray]

THE RULES OF RURAL MICHIGAN ARE AS FOLLOWS:

 

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to Michigan farmers. Get over it. Don't like it? I-94 goes east and west, I-75 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. Grain farmers have $350,000 combines that they drive only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in rural Michigan waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat taters, gravy, beans and cornbread. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at Jim's bait shop...

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's religious holiday held on the 15th of November.

10. We open doors for women. That applies to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three seasonings - salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah....We don't care what you folks in Detroit call that stuff you eat...IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be homegrown, cute, knows how to shoot, drive a truck, and she better have long hair..

15. College and high school football/basketball are as important here as the Lions and the Pistons .... And more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

17. Colleges? We have them all. We have State Universities , Community Colleges, and Voc-techs. Folks come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays..

18.Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway..We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.

19. Four inches of snow isn't a blizzard - it's lite flurry's. Drive in it like you got some sense, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska . Worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snowplows will have you out the next day.

20. By the way.... If you want to talk to God in Michigan , it's a local call.

[Freebird]

OK....those are funny but I have to call a foul on that last one. I go to Michigan often and I don't THINK it would be a local call. I'm not even 100% sure that you could get through. Of course most of my opinion is based upon too many visits to Detroit.

[Yammer Dan]

I didn't know West Virginia was a local call from Michigan.....

[dray]

you come up here and bring your scooter in the spring ill show ya around then you'll belive:thumbsup2:

[Yammer Dan]

Drive a Scoot in Detroit you better have God close!!!

[dray]

just to show ya'll around ill tell ya what we will do before spring i'll set a date and all will be welcome to go for a ride we'll start out in HELL and head for PARIDISE!

 

that should make belivers out of ya

 

[MiCarl]

just to show ya'll around ill tell ya what we will do before spring i'll set a date and all will be welcome to go for a ride we'll start out in HELL and head for PARIDISE!

 

that should make belivers out of ya

 

 

That sounds like a good ride. I'll be trying to make it.

 

Need to make sure Tahquamenon Falls is on the itinerary.

[dray]

could be even a sleigh ride through Christmas?

[Carbon_One]

just to show ya'll around ill tell ya what we will do before spring i'll set a date and all will be welcome to go for a ride we'll start out in HELL and head for PARIDISE!

 

that should make belivers out of ya

 

That sounds like an excellent plan Dray. Now we'll need to figure out a date for this. Can't be too early in the spring nor too late in summer and certainly not near MD or Internaional rally times.

Oh Don Detroit is just like any other big city, much like Cleavland, Cinicy, Pittsburgh to name a few.

Larry

[KarlS]

I've road to Paradise and I've road to Hell. Connecting the two in a ride would be a good ride.

[Freebird]

Yea, I know that Detroit is not representative of the rest of the state. I've been all over Michigan and there are some beautiful areas. I was in Traverse City about 5 weeks ago and with the leaves changing colors, it was beautiful. I've also been all around Holland and of course the UP. Unfortunately though, I spend too much of my time in the Detroit area and it's just not one of my favorite places.

[Redneck]

I disagree with #2 I think their heads are crooked internally.

[Marcarl]

On # 20.

In Michigan it may be a local call,,,,but here in Ontario we don't even have to call, we just need to talk and He hears us, no need to pick up the hand set.

[dray]

I disagree with #2 I think their heads are crooked internally.

 

your right some are as they been slaped so many times telling them to put there hats on streight there head now has a crook to the right; now when you see this you need to just give them a good hard smack with your left this will start the slow process of getting it back were it belongs:thumbsup2:

[dray]

On # 20.

In Michigan it may be a local call,,,,but here in Ontario we don't even have to call, we just need to talk and He hears us, no need to pick up the hand set.

 

i can see where he would need to spend more time on your side; you need more one on one time; now over here were good to go with just a quick call every now and again.