GAWildKat Posted November 3, 2010 #51 Posted November 3, 2010 This is a topic that hit home for me. I was born with cerebral palsy and my right side is 40% paralyzed, my left 10-20%. Most ppl who see me don't even see the disability because I have learned to compensate hiding it. Others who know full well that I am disabled refuse to understand what limitations I do have. Case in point: Hubby and I stay with friends until we can find housing we can afford. The Wife of the family unit made out a chore list that she wanted done in lieu of paying rent here. Hubby has 3 things to do on his list (clean cat boxes, dishwasher, and trash) I have about 20 things that include bathroom and kitchen spring cleaning every week, sweeping and mopping all hardwood floors, rearranging the furniture to clean under it all weekly and dusting. If their living room and dining room weren't a staging area for all of their current and ongoing house remodeling projects it might be half doable. However the wife is inflexible in who does the tasks, and hubby refuses to allow allow me to move furniture. They have promised to move their project material to the basement or another area but in the 3months we've lived here it hasn't happened. I get yelled at weekly for the things I haven't completed each week because it's how I pay my rent. On the flip side of the argument, she says hubby shouldn't do too much because he had a head injury and can't be responsible for too much. I know the solution is to move out. Also the wife doesn't think I'm disabled, thinks I have somehow lied to her or faked it to get on disability.
Freebird Posted November 3, 2010 #52 Posted November 3, 2010 That is not a good situation. I think it would be hard for me to refer to them as "friends". Sorry, I know that sometimes things can't be avoided but I would be out of there ASAP.
DBOB Posted November 3, 2010 Author #53 Posted November 3, 2010 GaWildcat, I guess your friend didn't hear that slavery went out in the 1860s! I am sorry you are forced to live in that situation, especially with those who question your condition. I hope things get better for you soon. Don
GAWildKat Posted November 3, 2010 #54 Posted November 3, 2010 My husband finally looked at my chore list that was written out for me, and compared it to what he has been told by her. I think he understands now why I've been madder than a hornet for 3 mons over having to clean up for 4 ppl that are messier than me. He says he's splitting the tasks more fairly and telling her where to stuff it. And no, she isn't a friend anymore. I admit I am a person that is hard to live with. But she has fewer friends than even I do. When her husband made the offer to let us sleep here we both took it as genuine. Still do, the problems don't lie with him at all. When it comes to her, he's the passive geek. I do think I'm leaving and heading to the shelter. I frankly can't take it anymore. I told hubby to stay here and make sure the cats are cared for. In the 7 yrs we've known her she holds me to a standard I can't reach, mostly because she is so insecure with herself she feels the need to attack me when I am down. I swept the kitchen Sunday, the entire kitchen, today I had to do it again because others felt the need to wipe crumbs to the floor. I also mopped today, and no doubt with all the running in and out in the soggy weather we have it will need doing tomorrow too. Since we moved in it's been one complaint after another. I know we aren't wanted, but I wish she could be an adult rather than a snide B......
MAINEAC Posted November 4, 2010 #55 Posted November 4, 2010 Yah I am for real. Like I said... Pregnancy is a choice. Not a disability. Women have been having babies for millions of years and have never needed special treatment because of it. There's absolutely no need to have special spots reserved just for them. Where's the father? What ever happened to being a gentleman and dropping your wife/partner/GF off right at the door while you go park the car and then holding the doors open for her? I do that without some store telling me I have too. In fact, when my late wife was pregnant, I went and did most of the shopping. And she felt the same way I do and absolutely hated the idea of those Preggo spots. Businesses and/or governments have no business telling me how to be polite or considerate. What's next.. spots for fat people or how about ones for people with learning disabilities, because they might forget where they parked their car? WOW!!! You park your bike in a spot reserved for a pregnant woman and you're giving advice on how to be a gentleman... You don't see any irony in this?? Too friggin funny..
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